One year ago today, Beyonce’s baby bubble burst, bestowing the beautiful Blue Ivy Carter onto a breathless world (sorry we ran out of B’s at the end)! Jay-Z and Queen Bey’s little girl went on to dominate 2012, despite the fact that she wasn’t doing much more than eating mashed carrots and figuring out how to lift her head.
Clearly she got her dominating skills from her parents, and probably her Godmother Oprah Winfrey. Not that we’re judging, but we’ve been wondering what kind if path this mega-star offspring will take when she grows up and can actually…you know, do stuff. We’ve done our homework, and we’ve broken it down into the 5 basic Super-Couple Spawn varieties. Let us explain.
Super-Couple Spawn Variety 1: Parent Version 2.0
Like mother like daughter/like father like son, these famous folks get a leg-up with their name and try to stage a repeat performance of their parents’ success. Fame is a family business after all, but sometimes lightening doesn’t strike twice and the results are pretty mediocre. Examples of that include: Nancy Sinatra, Colin Hanks, Lisa Marie Presley, and Julian Lennon. But sometimes they do a pretty awesome job. Just like Goldie Hawn’s daughter Kate Hudson, the multi-talented Smith kids Jayden and Willow, Donald Sutherland’s badass boy Kiefer, Kirk Douglas‘ slightly less bad-ass boy Michael, and Judy Garland’s triple-threat daughter Liza Minelli.
By Melissa Smith
With news of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s bun in the oven, we can’t help but wonder just how powerful their offspring is going to be. Just take the case of Blue Ivy, who reached number 7 on our list of celebs who dominated 2012 … just by being born! When it comes to Kimye’s spawn, the baby might actually be genetically primed for world domination, at least if he/she is anything like Kanye’s mom says he was as an infant.
Before Donda West tragically passed away in 2007, she sat down with VH1 News to talk about raising her son. Apparently there were very early signs of his powerful personality — even indications he’d like to rule the planet!
“I never saw that blank stare in Kanye’s eyes,” she told us. “Some babies come here, and it takes them a little bit longer to focus. It just seems like he came here knowing something, maybe something that I didn’t even know. … I looked into his eyes, and he had those two fingers in his mouth, and it just seemed like he was saying, ‘OK, I’m a few months old now; let me plan how I’m going to take over the world.’ ”
What a weird (wrong) world we live in when the first thing everyone asks about a pregnant celebrity is who will be paying her to lose her baby weight? But when that celebrity is Kim Kardashian, whose very fame relies on people paying her to live her life, we guess it’s not such an odd thing to speculate about. Which is probably why TMZ went straight to diet companies Medifast and Jenny Craig to see if they were considering a deal with Kim. The answer is nope, ’cause neither companies are interested in famous ladies at the moment.
Jessica Simpson, we’re going to let you finish gestating, but Kanye West and Kim Kardashian‘s baby is going to be the greatest baby of all time! Haha, yeah. Get used to hearing those kinds of jokes for the next nine months! Everyone and Bruce Jenner have been freaking out over Kanye and Kim’s pregnancy, and it got us thinking: what kind of parental unit will Kimye be? Yeezy and Kim both have a wealth of hard-earned knowledge we hope to pass down to their baby. Especially since you know that baby is going to be in front of a camera so fast…
“Our son has been born! We are very happy! Thanks to all for your messages!” Barcelona soccer star Gerard Pique tweeted last night, announcing the slightly premature birth of his and girlfriend Shakira’s first child.
And the congrats started pouring in for the beautiful couple … until, er, he posted another message a few hours later:
Whee! New baby! Claire Danes and her British hubby (we have a top BILFs of 2012 up, FYI), Hugh Dancy have just welcomed a son making their family a happy little trio. And their new son has quite a solid name, full of gravitas — Cyrus Michael Christopher Dancy. No Apple’s or Zuma’s for Carrie Mathison! Baby Cyrus made his grand appearance earlier this week, on Monday (that’s December 17) as confirmed by Claire’s spokesperson to People. The handsome couple have been married since 2009 after dating for three years. They met on the set of the film, Evening, FYI. Danes also publicly confirmed that she was pregnant in July this year, but was silent on the subject after, not revealing any details on due date or the sex of the baby. We’re now itching to see photos of little Cyrus, which we’re hoping will emerge soon. And may we offer a big congratulations to the first-time parents as well.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Did we call this yesterday, or what? Actually, we didn’t really call it, as we tried to respect Jenna Dewan-Tatum and Channing Tatum’s wishes to announce their big news — that Jenna’s pregnant with their first baby — in the manner of their choosing, i.e. by having their rep confirm the news to Us Weekly and People today. But we just couldn’t ignore the fact that Jenna’s empire-waisted, princess-worthy gown screamed “baby bump” last night at VH1 DIVAS. And when Jenna and Elisha Cuthbert were onstage introducing Ciara, the Step Up star totally touched her belly in that semi-subconscious expectant mother way.
Jenna and Chan “are pleased to announce that they are expecting the birth of their first child next year,” their rep told People. Congrats, you two! We hope the world can stand the inevitable cuteness a Tatum baby will bring. To prepare ourselves, here are some adorable pictures of the happy parents-to-be:
[Photo: Getty Images]
Drew Barrymore may look like the most comfortable mother in the world on the cover of People this week, but she confesses that she didn’t feel like that when she first gave birth to baby Olive, her daughter with new husband Will Kopelman, in September. “I couldn’t eat or sleep for two weeks, I was just so nervous!” she told the magazine. “You have the highest highs and yet you’re facing the biggest fear of, ‘How do I keep someone alive?’ ”
We like those kind of refreshingly honest quotes, to balance the more typical ones she gave about new motherhood: “It’s like the biggest crush I’ve ever had in my life!” and “It just makes me so emotional because it’s like a miracle.”
And, of course, we’re thrilled to meet baby Olive, especially after learning last week on Ellen how she got her name. “I was three months pregnant and they said your baby is the size of an olive, and that was it. We never looked back.”
[Photos: People, Getty Images]
Congrats to Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady! The supermodel and QB took the non-tabloid, low-key approach to announcing the latest addition to their family, baby girl Vivian Lake, who was born on Wednesday.
“We feel so lucky to have been able to experience the miracle of birth once again and are forever grateful for the opportunity to be the parents of another little angel,” the couple announced on Gisele’s Facebook. “Vivian Lake was born at home on December 5. She is healthy and full of life. Thank you all for your support and well wishes. We wish you and your families many blessings.”
We are now immediately wondering whether little Vivian will grow up a tomboy — what with her football-player dad and two older brothers, 5-year-old Jack (Brady’s son with Bridget Moynahan) and Benjamin, who turns 3 on Saturday. Or will she follow mom’s footsteps onto the catwalk? No rush, little one! Enjoy the best of all worlds.
Contrary to the typical patterns of celebrity parents these days, who document their pregnancies with tabloid announcements and nonstop Twitpics and Instagrams, Bunchen and Brady never publicly acknowledged that they were expecting. Instead, the Brazilian beauty was content to be photographed with her ever-growing bump and a knowing smile. Kinda refreshing, no?
[Photos: Facebook, Splash News Online]
Congrats, William and Kate! We all knew that if we speculated about this enough times, eventually it would be true: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first child, their spokespeople at Clarence House announced today (which we learned via Today, since everyone has crashed all the official royal sites with their excitement over the news). Unfortunately, it seems that they were forced to announce this news because Kate was admitted to the hospital Monday morning with severe morning sickness and is expected to stay hospitalized for days, as the pregnancy is in its very early stages. Ooooh, we feel your pain, Mama! But congrats anyway!
The couple have only been married for a year and a half, but bump watch has been in full effect since their wedding in April 2011. When Kate drank water instead of wine at an event in September, the media went crazy (and yeah, we can totally relate to that one too — which, what does that say about our normal drinking habits?). Lately, some sites were even pointing to the fuller shape of the Duchess’ face as proof that she was with child.
The newest addition to the royal family will be third in line for the throne, after his/her grandpa Prince Charles and dad William. (Harry, you are free to resume your naked billiards, as you are now fourth in line.)
[Photo: Getty Images]