Have we really not had a truly epic VMA beef since Kanye went totally Kanye and snatched Taylor Swift‘s mic in 2009? How time flies. Tonight the MTV VMAs honor those artists who have crafted a truly superior piece of visual art to accompany their music. But a well-crafted celebrity feud? Well, that’s even harder to come by. So we went ahead and predicted some fantasy VMA celebrity feuds for them, just to get the ball rolling! It’s like using The Secret, except you probably shouldn’t use The Secret to have someone yank out Lana Del Rey’s weave…
It looks like Beyonce won’t be making a guest spot on Keeping Up With The Kardashians anytime soon. Despite Kim Kardashian’s numerous attempts to get close to Bey, the diva apparently just isn’t having it. Even though boyfriend Kanye West is close friends with Beyonce’s husband Jay-Z, their relationship is rumored to be strained at best. The iciness was illustrated this weekend at the Made In America music festival in Philadelphia, where Jay was performing. Despite both turning up with their respective beaus, the former Destiny’s Child singer apparently gave Kim the cold shoulder!
“Kim and Beyonce barely spoke to each other,” a witness told Confidenti@l. “They were on opposite sides of the stage. Beyonce didn’t even acknowledge [Kim] was there until the concert was almost over.” Kim apparently hung out with her best friend Jonathan Cheban while her boyfriend took to the stage to do a surprise duet with Jay-Z during the festival. But then the awkwardness continued after the show. “They made small talk in the dressing room, but you could tell Kim was uncomfortable. She clung onto Kanye the entire time and didn’t say much,” says another source. “[Kim] was talking to Jonathan, and Kanye was talking to Jay-Z and Beyonce.” So we’re guessing that we don’t have a new addition to our celebrity besties list. But Yeezy and Jay’s cuteness more than makes up for it.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Hot on the heels of 50 Cent referring to her as “trash” in XXL Magazine, Kim Kardashian can start her week out right by reading about how Jeremy Renner hates her family. As part of an interview with Britain’s The Guardian, Jeremy griped that the Kardashians are “ridiculous people with zero talent who spend their lives making sure everyone knows their name,” as well as “stupid, stupid people.” Tell us how you really feel, Jeremy! Actually…please don’t. If this is what he said off the cuff, his actual opinion about the Kardashians is probably downright devastating.
Of course, the Bourne Legacy star isn’t the first celebrity to rag on Kim’s family. Jon Hamm, Jonah Hill, us: you name him or her, they’ve probably trash-talked the Kardashians at some point or another. Eventually celebs will have to come out and declare their love for the Kardashians, just so we don’t assume they harbor a secret hatred for them. Well, we’ll be the first and declare it now: a part of us deeply, deeply loves Kim’s bizarre family. The other part? Well, let’s just say it has a lot in common with our “Celebs That Actively Dislike the Kardashians” gallery:
[Photo: Getty Images]
Didn’t this guy write a YA novel about bullying? We didn’t realize it was a How-To. Heyo! Seriously though, 50 Cent was clearly in dire need of attention this week. Yes, even more than usual! Why else would he have insulted both Kim Kardashian and Snoop Dogg in the press? “I mean … if that man feel like she’s perfect, then she’s perfect. He could mean it and you’ll end up singing the words to it because he’s Kanye,” Fiddy told XXL Magazine about Yeezy’s lady Kim, adding, “You know how it is? One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Ouch! That’s an intense burn, 50 Cent! We guess the man did date Chelsea Handler. Have there been any studies to determine if perfect comedic timing can be sexually transmitted?
If that wasn’t enough material for Fiddy to take to an open mic, he also riffed on Snoop Dogg‘s new Rastafarian moniker Snoop Lion. “I don’t know how his little league team’s parents will feel about his new persona,” he quipped to The Hollywood Reporter. Hmmm, seeing as how Snoop’s persona has been “notorious rap stoner” since day one, we’re not sure if that joke really makes any sense. That being said, the mental image of Snoop coaching a Little League team is complete genius. Okay, we’ll give you that one, Fiddy…and start looking forward to your inevitable Comedy Central special now.
[Photo: Getty Images]
There’s only one diva big enough to publicly take on Madonna, and Elton John really went for the protruding jugular while discussing the MDMA singer during an interview with Australia’s Sunday Night host Molly Meldrum yesterday. “If Madonna had had any common sense, she would have made a record like Ray Of Light, stayed away from the dance stuff and just been a great pop singer and make great pop records, which she does brilliantly,” he rants. The fact that is by far the nicest thing he has to say about Madge during the entire segment is pretty telling. Touching on everything from Madonna’s on-going tour problems to her beef with Lady Gaga, the “Yellow Brick Road” singer had a number of choice things to say about Madge, comments that the rest of us wouldn’t even mumble under our breath lest we want a stiletto heel slashing our faces. Comments like…
- “She’s such a nut now.”
- “Her career’s over, I can tell you that.”
- “That tour’s been a disaster.” (Note: between the gun waving and the audience booing, we kind of agree.)
- “It couldn’t happen to a bigger c—.”
- “She looks like she’s a f—ing fairground stripper.” (Note: what kind of fairs are they having over in England?)
- “She’s been so horrible to Gaga.”
Elton also took the time to gush about Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Rihanna. Just in case you needed a little bit more salt in that wound, Madonna!
We feel like celebrity beefs have gotten increasingly random lately. Has anyone else noticed this? We blame Twitter, just like we blame Twitter for the current beef between Ice-T and Rush Limbaugh. Well…okay, we blame Twitter and Rush Limbaugh. “He knew the word ‘tyranny.’ And he knows that tyranny comes from government representatives. Double impressive,” the conservative radio host joked about Ice-T, after the rapper used the word while defending gun ownership. “Rush Limbaugh said he was impressed I knew the word ‘tyranny’… He’s a racist piece of sh–,” Ice-T replied on (where else?) Twitter. Jeez, Rush, why are you ripping on someone who agrees with you? And Ice, why are you listening to anything that Rush Limbaugh has to say? Of course, when it comes to celebrity beef, there’s no reasoning with anyone. If there way, how would you explain all the absurd celebrity beefs that have come before?
First we get a Chris Brown/Cher mini slider, now Chris Rock is starting some delicious New York strip steak drama? Good thing we’re omnivores because there is beef as far as the eye can see! This morning when Today host Matt Lauer said in passing, “We’re hoping the same kind of weather hits us tomorrow when we’ve got Chris Brown out on the plaza,” guest Rock couldn’t help but joke, “Did you say you hope the same weather hits you? I hope some weather doesn’t smack us upside the head.” Chris Rock can’t help it! He’s a comedian. He knows you can’t let perfectly good beef go to waste. Our deepest apologies to Elmo though; no tiny puppets needed to hear that.
Now that we think about it, Rock’s comments actually pale in comparison to how hard Cher zinged Chris earlier this week following rumors that Brown took to Twitter and declared that the Just Like Jesse James singer “needs a beating” for criticizing President Obama. The gossip later turned out to be false, but when a fan tweeted, “Cher, how do you feel about Chris Brown saying he was gonna hit you.” Cher replied, “I don’t know. Is that something he’s particularly good at?” Someone get the grill going and break out the hamburger buns! Looks like we’re going to have beef all summer long!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Guys, we cannot deal with this Jenny McCarthy/ Jim Carrey drama if it turns into real beef. We cannot. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, we just do not have it in us. If Carrey’s curt retort to McCarthy’s comments about him failing to visit her autistic son Evan are any suggestion though, that might where this sadness is headed. “I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan’s well being,” Jim claimed early today according to TMZ. “It’s unfortunate that Evan’s privacy is not being considered. I love Evan very much and will miss him always.” Guys, we know it might be hard to believe, but if our jobs have taught us anything…them’s fighting words.
Of course, seeing as how Jenny brought up her ex’s role in Evan’s life after their 2010 split in the first place, it was sort of inevitable that Carrey would feel the need to call her out. “I’ve tried to ask [Jim] numerous times [to see Evan], because my son still asks,” McCarthy told Howard Stern earlier this week. “I tell [Evan] that someday you’ll cross paths, meet again. . . [but] it’s hard. He’s been in therapy. It’s a process, he’s working on it.” We are going to have to enter therapy if two celebs start fighting over an autistic 10-year-old. Wouldn’t a few harsh text messages be more than enough, you guys? A nasty yet still private Facebook message?
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Kate! We have to get back to the weekend, before we heard all these horrible allegations about Matthew Fox! While you were getting sunburned in a hammock, Lost actor Dominic Monaghan was on Twitter accusing former costar Matthew Fox of violence toward women. “he beats women. No thanks.” the FlashForward actor replied when asked to pester Fox to get on Twitter. When an outraged fan asked how he could make such claims considering all the good times they must have had on the set of Lost (note: people on Twitter be crazy!), Monaghan tweeted, “how do you know we ever did?you don’t know either of us.he beats women.not isolated incidents.often.not interested.” Oh, well, if it was isolated incidents, that would be totally different! Horrible, horrible different!
TMZ reported today that “sources close to” Fox have denied the charges, but the actor has yet to issue a statement himself. This isn’t the only cringe-worthy part of Fox’s life recently; in addition to a DUI arrest earlier this month, the Alex Cross actor was also accused of, well, punching a female bus driver in the groin late last year. Hey, maybe at the end of this feud, we’ll find out we were all dead this whole time and this beef never happened? And then we’re in a church for some reason? Oh, you’re right. That would make literally no sense.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Howard Stern, we’re going to stop you right there. You can be as mean as you want to Britney Spears, but this feud is just not happening. “I think that we’re going to tune in to see if she can function through the thing,” Stern snarked on his show this week about the singer’s new X Factor gig. “As far as any real criticism, I think Simon [Cowell] and L.A. Reid will be doing that. I think Britney is going to stand there and eat a lollipop and wear a sexy outfit. I don’t anticipate great opinions from her.” Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is not 2007 and she is not performing at the VMAs, Howard; Britney has her ish together! Spears is engaged, making that money and doesn’t look like she slept in a drainage ditch for three days straight, which is more than we can say for some people.
As desperate as the newest America’s Got Talent judge might be to start some kind of attention-getting drama, we can pretty much guarantee Britney isn’t going to reply to this in anger; it isn’t her style. Besides, if BritBrit does go into a lollipop-fueled sugar rage and flip over a table while wearing a school girl uniform, that just means better ratings for The X Factor. Even Stern knows that. “I will tune in to see what kind of train wreck she is,” he scoffed. Oh Howard, if only you could look within, and see the big, beautiful wreck inside yourself…
[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]