Celebrity Break Ups

by (@hallekiefer)

Calm Down Already! Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Did Not Break Up!

Despite the fact that he was allegedly seen eating food within a four foot radius of another human being this weekend, Ryan Gosling has not dumped his lady love of six months Eva Mendes. So knock it off with the loud, heart-wrenching sobs already! While the U.K.’s Daily Mail made the argument that Ryan Gosling’s dinner date this weekend with a German model in Cape Town, South Africa implies he is giving Eva the boot, further evidence suggests that Gosling never even left Thailand, where he has been filming the upcoming crime drama Only God Forgives. The whole thing sounded pretty fishy to us; the only place Ryan Gosling can teleport is in our fan fiction! Besides, we assume Ryan dines exclusively with models. It’s not a vanity thing; the man just wouldn’t want to embarrass any of us “normals” by making people compare us to him. It’s really considerate when you think about it.

Fortunately Eva’s rep has since denied to the Daily Mail that the two have split and, according to Us Weekly, a source close to the The Place Beyond The Pines costars also confirms the two are going strong. So does that make you feel better? Hey, hey, hey…who’s our big boy or girl? Here are some Kleenexes. It’s going to be okay.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Eva Longoria Breaks Up With Eduardo Cruz, Misses Out On Being Penelope’s In-Law

That saddest part about the alleged break-up of Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz isn’t that it officially brings to an end all those yachting trips, or that they just missed the cut-off for The Most Beautiful Couple In The World Contest, a yearly competition we run out of our cubicles. No, it’s that Eva has to give up on the dream of having Penelope Cruz as her sister-in-law. That woman is just so palpably classy, we can barely stand it! You just know Penelope would let you borrow her couture men’s wear if you wanted to. Not that you could actually fit into any of it, but still! It’s the thought, and the beautiful head that thought it, that counts!

According to Us Weekly, the Desperate Housewives star and musician Eduardo ended their romance of over a year earlier this week, after which Cruz flew back to his native Spain. “It was a mutual decision,” their source claims. “They are staying friends.” Do you know how these two met? Penelope introduced them. She facilitated their romance and now it’s over! How tragique. Oh, and if you don’t get why we’re so geeked out, please go see Vikki Christina Barcelona. Or Volver. Maybe not Vanilla Sky. Then you’ll understand completely.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

Kris Humphries Demands That Kim Kardashian Returns All Wedding Gifts, Stat!

Animal Planet shows don’t feature as much clawing as this situation has. The grand dismantling of Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian’s very brief nuptials is still high on drama. The latest boxing bout between them is over all the wedding swag they amassed. Kim is already donating $200,000 to the Dream Foundation, which is reportedly twice the worth of all her wedding gifts. Unfortunately, her charitable turn doesn’t sit well with her ex. Kris reckons that Kim has to return every single item to every gift-giver as she has no right to keep any of the gifts at all.

Sources tell TMZ that while Kris thinks her giving to charity is great, it’s not enough, because their guests spent their money on those gifts and Kim keeping them is just unfair. What do you think FabFolk? What’s the correct etiquette here? We’re sure a lot of people spent a bomb on those gifts, so should they be given back to them? One of those people, by the way, is Jonathan Cheban, who happens to be Kim’s BFF. Apart from giving Kim a present, he also gave Kris a $5,000 certificate to YSL, which he’s never offered to return! Cheban says he was OK with them keeping their presents, but now thinks Kris is a complete hypocrite because he has not returned any given to him. That gift card ain’t coming back, honey! And as long as he’s keeping his wedding gifts, what right does he have to criticize Kim keeping hers?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Related: Well Played, Kim Kardashian: Divorcee Donates Wedding Booty To Charity 

by (@missmuttoo)

M.I.A. And Her Babydaddy Fiance Break Up

M.I.A.’s stars aren’t bringing her much luck currently. Or she’s not making her own luck, depending how you see it. First, the singer decided it would be OK to flip the bird at a camera during the halftime show at the Super Bowl. The backlash has been swift and acerbic, and she might even be responsible for any FCC fines imposed on NBC. So while her professional life is under some major scrutiny, it turns out that her personal life is as well. M.I.A. and her billionaire babydaddy fiance of a very long time, Benjamin Bronfman, have split up. We don’t use the term “billionaire” lightly as if it’s a Bruno Mars song. The dude really is the heir to a $2.5 billion Seagrams fortune. Sadly, M.I.A. — real name: Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam— and Benjamin also have a son, Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman, together. He’ll be 3 this Saturday.

There are a couple of different stories doing the rounds as to why they’ve broken up. Some sources say it’s because she spends most of her time in London and Benjamin is left to do all the parenting, with his mother, philanthropist Sherry Bronfman, helping with her grandson. Another source alleges that M.I.A. “sometimes goes six weeks without seeing” Ikhyd. This just is a sad business all around. We hope that their baby boy doesn’t get dragged into this at all.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Related: Is M.I.A’s Flipping The Bird At Super Bowl The New Nipplegate?

by (@missmuttoo)

Chord Overstreet And Emma Roberts Are Over

Young love can be so fickle. It’s all die-hard one day and die-now the next. Fortunately, the latter has not been quite so acrimonious with this fledgling, now-ex couple. Chord Overstreet and Emma Roberts have broken up after seeing each other for nine months. It’s not a dramatic split, says a source, revealing, “They’re just on two different paths in life. They just grew apart and decided to part ways.” That’s pretty zen of them, but it’s still sad. Having said that, the good news is that they’re both young and very hot. Things will be just fine for the two of them, just wait and see. Hotter and as-young things are just waiting around the corner.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Vanessa Paradis: Throw Johnny Depp Break-Up Rumors In “The Toilet”

We knew it couldn’t be true! If by “knew,” we meant “silently wept while praying.” Either way, we are pleased as punch that Johnny Depp‘s lady friend Vanessa Paradis stopped by France’s Grand Journal to shut down rumors about the couple’s eminent break-up. “Yes it’s false – of course it’s false!,” the French actress exclaimed on the show. “People say we are buying houses in the middle of nowhere, or that we have fifty two houses in France, All [of those rumors are] not too serious, but this latest one is a rumor which could cause a lot of harm to my family and my children.” We knew those house rumors weren’t true, either. What family has more than 10 houses per person? You’d have to invent a time machine just to live in them all! And we’re betting those time machine rumors aren’t true either!

Early this month tabloids claimed Paradis and Depp were already in the process of dissolving their relationship; the parents of two have been together since 1998. “These magazines end up in the fireplace or the toilet,” concluded Vanessa. The toilet! We would live in the toilet if it meant these two would keep quietly proving love exists. We would literally design, construct and raise a family in the bowl of a giant toilet. Don’t tempt us; we have very little else going on right now. And everything we own is already water-proof.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Are Johnny Depp And Vanessa Paradis On The Verge Of A Break-Up?

Johnny Depp, no! Don’t ruin all our fantasies about you and Vanessa Paradis, fantasies where you spend your days chain-smoking clove cigarettes, eating baguettes and trying on different, fabulous hats. Don’t you even dare do that to us. Devastatingly, RadarOnline reports that the Dark Shadows star and his girlfriend of nearly 14 years are allegedly headed toward a split. “People around him are worried about how Johnny is doing because he and Vanessa seem so fractured right now,” their source claims. “Their relationship is heading toward the end.” Now those blue sunglasses and fisherman’s hat won’t seem European at all, Johnny. They’ll just seem tragic! Completely and utterly tragic!

Depp and French actress and singer Paradis currently have two children, Lily-Rose Melody Depp and John Christopher Depp, who no doubt have adorable French accents and act like little miniature Amelies and oh Johnny, please don’t let happen. “Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship,” a source alleges. “They’re not married but they’ve been together for years and have kids together so it isn’t as easy as just breaking up.” Did you two ever ride to the Eiffel Tower together on a tandem bicycle during a spring shower even once? Don’t tell us. We can’t bare to know the truth.

by (@missmuttoo)

Marc Anthony Dating A Super Hot Venezuelan Model

If you think that Jennifer Lopez is the only one newly separated and having a blast, then think again. Her ex, Marc Anthony, is doing exactly the same. While J.Lo is with Caspar Smart, news has emerged that Marc is dating a gorgeous, 24-year-old Venezuelan model named Shannon de Lima. In fact, the photograph you see above is of them, and Marc posted it on his own Facebook page. The singer also just tweeted his new main squeeze yesterday writing, “A mi Shadelima mi estatua de libertad. Besos bebe,” which translates to, “To my Shadelima, my statue of liberty. Kisses, baby.” We’d say this wasn’t just a rumor. Interestingly enough, both Casper and Shannon are the same age: 24. Do we see a competition happening?

[Photo via Marc Anthony's Facebook Page]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The 45 Biggest Celebrity Breakups Of 2011

Love never dies, but it sure took a battering this year! Celebrity couples of every age and stripe dropped like flies in 2011! From long-term unions like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, all the way down to the ones that can be measured in a television season (*cough* Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries *cough*), Hollywood could have used a giant couples’ therapy session. There were affairs, secret children, super fights, Twitter drama, ugly court cases and sometimes all of those combined. For these couples it wasn’t domestic bliss but domestic blitz! But don’t feel bad if you’ve made the list, guys. Just think of it as a giant singles ad. (You’re welcome!)

As the great philosopher Pat Benatar once said, “Love is a battlefield.” Check out some of this year’s casualties of Cupid in the gallery below. It’s truly a star-studded cast, with Marc Anthony and J.Lo, George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis, Demi and Ashton and oh so many more. Pick up your crazy hearts and try again in ’12, folks!

[Photo: Getty Images]

View Photo Gallery

by (@missmuttoo)

Ashley Tisdale And Boyfriend Scott Speer Split Up

Ashley Tisdale and her boyfriend of two-and-a-half years, Scott Speer have reportedly broken up. People splitting up is always sad news, but to have it happen during the holiday season feels brutal. A source told Us Weekly that there’s not much left to salvage, revealing, “They had been on and off for a while. They tried to work it out but realized their relationship ran its course.” Speer is a music video director, FYI, and got together with Ashley about a month after she split up with musician Jared Murillo back in 2009. Through the course of the now ex couple’s trajectory, Scott also directed five of the Tiz’s videos. Tough luck, guys.