Celebrity Breakups

by (@hallekiefer)

Andrew Garfield And Shannon Woodward Call It Quits

Man, this is almost as sad as when Peter Parker had to have his marriage to Mary Jane erased from existence in order to save Aunt May’s life from Mephisto. We mean… Spider-Man breakup! US Magazine is reporting that, sadly, Andrew Garfield and Shannon Woodward broke up. No more upside-down kisses in the rain for these two, which we’re assuming you are required by law to do if you are dating the web slinger (though we’re hoping Shannon at least wore a bra in her version). The Social Network star and Raising Hope actress had dated since 2008, but had lately grown apart. Reportedly Garfield “got deeper into filming The Amazing Spider-Man; he literally never saw her,” which helped contribute to the demise of their relationship. Another source claims Shannon is “telling people they’re on a break… [but] they haven’t spoken to each other in weeks.” Guess you always run the risk of heartache when you date a superhero…or a super-hot 27-year-old actor who’s about to blow up into a megastar.

by (@hallekiefer)

Amber Rose Responds To Kanye’s Coachella Dis

We never understand it when celebrity couples start drama in public. Don’t they remember all that bizarre, rich-person stuff the other person knows about them? We’ve all seen Eyes Wide Shut, right? Unfortunately, Kanye West’s Amber Rose Coachella dis didn’t follow the laws of relationship decorum, so the rapper’s ex is out to talk a little trash. Just as a little background: at the music festival last month, Kanye allegedly changed the lyrics to his song “Stronger” from “I’ll do anything for a blonde dyke” to “I did anything for that blonde dyke.” Amber Rose just so happens to be his bisexual blond ex, ergo, yikes.

We wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Kanye momentarily forgot Amber was actually at Coachella, and was under the impression that only he could hear the beautiful music in his mind. “It’s just unfortunate that he said that in the song ’cause that’s not the lyrics,” Amber Rose’s King Magazine interview says about the incident now. “I can say whatever I want about him. I can write a book or do whatever but I choose to take the high road. It’s just unfortunate he has to constantly say s–t.” Despite the on-going drama, Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa are still going strong. Said soon-to-be reality star, “When I was with my ex [West], I didn’t have a voice. I was there and I was new to the fame. I didn’t understand everything. Now I get everything. With me and Wiz, we show our love to the world.” We undersand it if Amber is trying to come out ahead as the classier party, but if not: please, please, please write the book on Kanye.

[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Lady Gaga Breaks It Off With Boyfriend Lüc Carl

That boy is a monster…’s ex-boyfriend, now that Lady Gaga broke up with Lüc Carl, her on-again, off-again boyfriend since 2005. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend and haven’t been on any dates recently,” the Edge Of Glory singer admits on tonight’s episode of Britain’s Graham Norton Show. Carl was spotted at Lady Gaga’s birthday fete in March, so it sounds like recently is all a matter of perspective. Ugh, of course their break-up would come now. Do you know how sweet that smokey sax would have sounded over a torch song? Sugary sweet. Like honey.

As highly, highly questionable as we found Lüc Carl “Drunk Diet” book, it’s sad to hear the man responsible for Lady Gaga enjoying sex is out of the picture. We do, however, look forward to the inevitable break-up album the singer will write next year. Though knowing how completely indecipherable her lyrics typically, someone is bound to get confused and think she is insulting the New Testament. Again.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Report: Dianna Agron Is In Hiding And “Terrified” Of Alex Pettyfer

The relationship between Glee‘s Dianna Agron and her boyfriend Alex Pettyfer has managed to do a complete 180 over the past few weeks and things are sounding pretty bad between the two. On February 3rd, we reported that the I Am Number Four co-stars were possibly engaged, though that ended up being false (but great PR for the film!). And now today, February 23, the couple has broken up, and not only that, but Us Weekly reports that Agron has moved out of the house they share and is in hiding because she is reportedly “terrified” of Pettyfer.

Us claims that Agron has holed up in a hotel under an alias because she is afraid of Pettyfer and was reportedly threatened by him. (His reps claim no such threats took place.) Pettyfer also allegedly had a heated confrontation outside an L.A. club with Sebastian Stan because he believes Agron and Stan hooked up. These allegations, coupled with the reports that Pettyfer is a diva on-set aren’t great PR for the guy—but then again, they could still be great PR for I Am Number Four which came out on Friday.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Jude Law And Sienna Miller Break It Off: Round 2

We associate Sienna Miller and Jude Law with their famously bad break-up in 2006 so much, we could barely recall that they got back together again at the end of 2009. You know, right after Jude had a baby with another woman? Well, now we never have to remember that they’re still dating, because Jude Law and Sienna Miller have split up…again. “It is mutual and amicable and they are still friends,” a mutual friend told People. Flirty nannies of the world, polish up your resumes. Jude is back on the prowl!

Law and Miller originally broke up after Jude famously slept with his kids’ nanny, despite begin engaged to Sienna as of Christmas 2004. We guess we can say that rumors of Sienna and Jude’s wedding plans are now conclusively untrue. “I can confirm that Jude Law and Sienna Miller are no longer in a relationship,” Jude’s rep reports. We wish we could Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind ourselves and forget that they tried to beat their dead horse of a relationship for another year. Probably so do Sienna and Jude, if we had to guess.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Olivia Wilde Is Back On The Market. We Repeat, She Is Back On The Market.

Have you been working out, grooming your wardrobe and perfecting your table etiquette for months, just in case Olivia Wilde and her husband Tao Ruspoli separated?. You haven’t? Oh, then we are way ahead of the game now that Olivia is (almost) single and (undoubtedly) ready to mingle.

Wilde’s rep confirmed that the couple are dissolving their marriage of eight years, while People reports Wilde and Ruspoli separated a while ago. “They have been living apart after trying for quite some time to make their relationship work,” the source claims. As if approaching Wilde for a date wasn’t intimidating enough, keep in mind that Ruspoli is an Italian prince whose family owns Rome’s Palazzo Ruspoli. We’re sure your studio apartment and ironed khakis are just as impressive. Just to remind you of what you’re not longer missing out on, here are some photos of the no-longer happy couple and of your new girl friend Olivia Wilde. If you print one out and put one in your wallet, everyone will have to believe you!

View Photo Gallery

by (@hallekiefer)

Macaulay Culkin Denies Porn Star Romance

Most guys wouldn’t actively deny hanging out with a smoking blond porn star. Then again, most guys didn’t just break up with earth angel Mila Kunis. Those photos of the two chilling at Barcelona-based sex club Bagdad have ended up online, Macaulay Culkin denies any relationship with porn star Irene Lopez. “As I do with many fans, I briefly met and took a photo with Irene Lopez at her request. I have had no contact with this woman in any capacity, social or otherwise before or since that picture was taken. Any reports to the contrary are false,” Culkin told E! Do you think Irene just hallucinated their relationship ala Black Swan? Maybe Lopez isn’t a porn star at all, just under a lot of stress to be perfect.

After dating Kunis for seven years straight, we guess catching Macaulay in the embrace of an adult actress would be a little out-of-character. “The reports that Macaulay Culkin is dating Irene Lopez are completely false. We are disappointed that Ms. Lopez has told E! Entertainment fictitious stories regarding Mr. Culkin,” Macaulay’s rep confirms. Moral of the story: if you’re a celebrity hanging out at a sex club, don’t be taking photos with just any old pornographer!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Macaulay Culkin’s Porn Star Friend Sure Has A Lot To Say About Mila Kunis

We as a society should know by now that if you are a famous person AND you consort with porn stars, one of said porn stars is eventually going to go rogue. Apparently Macaulay Culkin‘s porn star friend has advice for Mila Kunis, and we’re sure the Black Swan actress is just dying to find out what that would be. Spotted at “live sex club” Bagdad in Barcelona with the Saved! star, Spanish porn actress Irene Lopez explains, “If there is a possibility that he goes back with Mila, I don’t want to be an obstacle. The breakup is really fresh.” What could possibly be an obstacle about having your sex club buddy chat with the media about your ex-girlfriend? Except everything.

Unfortunately for any future hope that Culkin’s split from Kunis might not be permanent, Lopez just kept talking. “The last time I was with him, no one found out about it. I don’t know what happened this time that the newspaper heard about it,” she explained. Oh snaaaaap! So does that mean she and Culkin were “befriending” each other while he and Mila were a couple? As if that wasn’t scandalous enough, now Culkin’s photo is on the website of the sex club. Charlie Sheen must be shaking his head in recognition. Go mentor him, Charlie. Culkin must learn your ways.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Can Taylor Swift And Jake Gyllenhaal Seriously Be Back Together Already?

Nothing makes us want to push our glasses to the end of our noses and say “Girrrrrl” in a warning tone like news that Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal were spotted at dinner together. The pair were sighted in Nashville Wednesday night, dining at Bound’ry, a spot reportedly close to Swift’s apartment. “They did eat. They were cordial to one another, but not affectionate,” an eyewitness claims. “There was no holding hands, but they seemed happy together. They sat next to the fireplace just chatting away.” Hopefully this is just Taylor’s way of getting closure/extra song material, or else girl is going to end up with a death metal album by the end of this drama. Oh wait…do you think that’s what happened to Taylor Momsen?

Gyllenhaal sure has a lot of ‘splaining to do after not only taking his ex Jenny Lewis to the Golden Globes, but also making face time with Mila Kunis and Camilla Belle. All within a 48-hour time period! While Jake’s reps have since declared the actor is “not dating” Belle, Swift’s former rival for Joe Jonas, we suspect the damage might already be done. We personally are ready for the songstress to shut Gyllenhaal down and start plotting her next move. After all, there nothing that girl does better than revenge.

[Photos: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Taylor Swift Feels “Burned” By Jake, Freezes Over Taylor Lautner In New Video

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Man, can’t one whole week go by without Taylor Swift throwing herself on her bed and sobbing into a body pillow? Jake Gyllenhaal must be dying for an angry song about him, because why else would Gyllenhaal dump Taylor Swift with no warning, and over the phone now less? According to a source reporting to US Magazine, “It was a 180-degree turn and so out of the blue.” Says another source, “Jake just told her it wasn’t working out…Taylor is really upset and hurt. She doesn’t know what she did for him to put a stop to it. She feels really burned by him.” Gyllenhaal is just sitting back and waiting for the acoustic guitar insults to start, isn’t he? Do not give him the satisfaction, Taylor! Maybe write him a jingle or a limerick, but he doesn’t deserve an epic ballad.

As if that wasn’t sniffle-inducing enough, Swift’s video for Back To December premieres today, an apologetic ballad rumored to be about ex Taylor Lautner. Taylor looks ephemeral and gorgeous as always in the winter-themed vid. They probably didn’t even plan to have fake snow falling; that’s actually angels weeping when they saw Swift getting emotional. Seriously, we will never understand how Swift can get a People’s Choice Award seemingly just by rolling out of bed, but can’t keep a decent man to save her life.

[Photo: Getty Images]