Celebrity Breakups

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Sammi And Ronnie, Our Generation’s Hepburn And Tracy, Break Up

Theirs was a love played out for an audience over three seasons, but alas, it is no more. Jersey Shore‘s Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro have broken up. How do we know? Why, it’s all on Facebook, clear as day.

Seems Sammi has unfriended Ronnie’s friends or, as Entertainment Tonight hilariously calls them, “Ronnie’s associates“  on Facebook, which is clearly a bad sign. The couple has been off-and-on but this seems to be the last straw. While the cheating and three-way kissing may have had an affect on their longevity, we tend to think that maybe they were just too violent for each other, what with Sammi beating up a lady in Miami and Ronnie getting  charged with assault that time during season one.  We’re sure we’ll see the destructive duo dissolve on-air now that the new season is here!

by (@missmuttoo)

Zac Efron Who? Vanessa Hudgens Looks Fab At Her Vegas Birthday

Bad breakups for us involve eating way too much ice-cream, getting disastrous haircuts, buying more shoes than we can afford, and if it’s really bad, then all of the above. But that’s why we’re, well, us, and Vanessa Hudgens post-Zac Efron, is the bomb.

Miss Hudgens just celebrated her 22nd birthday, and lets just say she didn’t spend it sniveling under a duvet. The girl just split up with her boyfriend of 5 years, so we were totally prepared to cut her some time off from the I’m-a-celebrity-I’m-perfect train. Vanessa can now snap her fingers and sass “In yo’ face” to us, because she brought on the awesome at her happy-happies celebration in *tadah* VEGAS!  She looked super-slinky at Pure nightclub in a completely unforgiving silver dress that wrapped around her like a bandage. Besties Ashley Tisdale and Brittany Snow were right there partying with her. The Zefron wasn’t… but he’s totally going to look at the pictures and kick himself on his perfect behind.

And more props to not-so-Baby V when she was inevitably questioned about the breakup. Her pert response was, “We’re good” and a thumbs up. That calls for a round of applause and a ‘nicely done’! Happy Birthday, Vanessa!

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Elizabeth Hurley And Hubby Separate Amidst Cheating Rumors

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Is Elizabeth Hurley a better actress than we give her credit for? We only ask because the above photo was taken six weeks ago, and she and her husband Arun Nayar look pretty happy to be together, but according to Hurley, they have been separated for months amidst rumors that Hurley cheated.

The pair has been married for three years. While they have been seen together in public recently, Hurley announced their breakup on Twitter on Sunday, saying “Not a great day. For the record, my husband Arun and I separated a few months ago. Our close family & friends were aware of this.” She has recently been spotted with Australian cricket player Shane Warne and it’s been reported that they spent the night together at a London hotel last week, so the news is most definitely an attempt at damage control. This makes us sad, not because of the divorce but because we figured that if Hurley’s marriage ever ended, she’s obviously get back together with Hugh Grant who she’s still best pals and vacation buddies with. Hurley has an eight-year-old son named Damian from a previous relationship.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Are RiRi and Matt Kemp On The Rocks?

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Cue “Another One Bites The Dust,” because it looks like another star union has supernova’d. Rumors are circulating that Rihanna and LA Dodger Matt Kemp have split after almost a year of dating. The two have not been seen in public together in months, and reports of infidelity in both camps have been swirling around for just as long. Rihanna’s busy international tour schedule made it hard for the couple to be together, and Matt’s fondness for partying allegedly caused the lovers to drift apart. Kemp was seen leaving an LA club with two women last week—neither of whom were RiRi—and according to an eyewitness they both spent the night in his bedroom.

Admittedly the vague video and the even vaguer story don’t conclusively prove anything yet. Neither side has commented on the alleged breakup, though Rihanna has been big on her privacy lately. Just recently she railed at the press for continuing to ask about her relationship with Chris Brown. Maybe this is the time for scorned-lover Drake to make another move!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Chelsea Handler Calls Angelina Jolie a “Homewrecking B—”

Remind us to never piss off Chelsea Handler. The talk show host isn’t known for being shy, but her potty-mouthed tirade against Angelina Jolie during a New Jersey gig this weekend was harsh even by her standards! In the middle of her set she leveled accusations at Angelina for breaking up Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s marriage back in 2005. “She’s a homewrecker!” Chelsea fumed from the stage. “She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants. I don’t f—ing believe you! She gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Because you’re a f—ing c—.”

The comedienne just got back from a Thanksgiving holiday in Cabo with new BFF Jennifer Aniston, and we’re gonna guess that Angie was a topic of discussion (just throwing it out there). “Chelsea hates Angelina and doesn’t for one second buy that she is this good person rescuing children in need around the world,” a friend tells Popeater’s Rob Shuter. “She thinks Angie stole another woman’s husband and should be called out for it. She thinks Angelina has used her kids to manipulate her image and gotten away with destroying a beautiful marriage. ” Chelsea’s a loyal friend, we’ll give her that much!

Check out a (very NSFW) video of the rant after the jump!

[Photo: images]

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Kirsten Dunst On Ex Jake Gyllenhaal’s New Relationship: “Next!”

Unless you’re Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld, pretty much no one enjoys talking about or hanging out with their ex. And being a celebrity with famous exes makes it even harder, since everyone’s always in your business and wants to know how bad the breakup was and how you’re moving on. So when Kirsten Dunst was asked if she thought Taylor Swift was a good match for Dunst’s ex Jake Gyllenhall, she just refused to even acknowledge the question and replied “Next!”

Who asks that? Really, you think it’s a great idea to as an ex-girlfriend what they think of their replacement? Dunst and Gyllenhaal have been broken up for five years, so it’s not like we’re dealing with fresh wounds. But seriously, who cares what Kiki thinks of this? It’s old news, and considering she was on the red carpet for her new movie All Good Things, she’s probably not interested in answering personal questions. We like her simple, to-the-point response. Besides, we think Kirsten should rest easy knowing that when Swyllenhaal is over, Jake’s just going to end up a song on Taylor’s next album.

[Photos: Getty Images/]

by (@hallekiefer)

Tony Parker’s Lawyer Quits Due To Too Much Irony

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First come the sexy texts, then the quitting lawyers: so far Tony Parker and Eva Longoria’s divorce is going exactly how we’d fantasized it would. Sources are saying that Tony Parker’s lawyer Richard Orsinger quit due to a conflict of interest. What would that conflict be, exactly? Oh, just that he’s also representing Tony’s ex-San Antonio Spurs teammate Brian Barry…in his divorce from Parker’s alleged mistress Erin Barry. Twist!

When Orsinger submitted Parker’s divorce papers on November 19, he reportedly had no idea that he was going Beyond Cheaterdome by representing both men. Once Orsinger recognized the conflict of interest, he decided to give Parker the boot. Sources say Tony is currently looking for new representation and will forge ahead with the divorce as planned. We, for one, don’t blame Orsinger for leaving. Really, how could anyone keep that many filthy texts straight? [Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

The Identity Of Tony’s Alleged Other Woman Has Been Tweeted!

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The name of Tony Parker’s alleged mistress has hit the Internet, and as if we couldn’t have guessed it, it only took 140 characters to let the cat out of the bag. According to Sports Illustrated staff writer Bryan Armen Graham, the name of the woman bringing about Parker and Eva Longoria’s divorce is Erin Barry, wife of Parker’s former San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry and someone who should sleep with one eye open forever, if we know Eva like we think we do.

Tweeted Graham, “Have it on good authority from entertainment sources that “former teammate” in Tony Parker-Eva Longoria affair is Brent Barry.” Graham tweeted even more damning evidence later, saying “Longoria said she found text messages from wife of a former teammate on Parker’s phone. Source says former teammate was Barry.” Oh, we would not want to be Tony Parker tonight. Or either of the Barrys. Or, well, anyone within a 500 mile radius of Eva’s scratching zone.

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by (@hallekiefer)

David Arquette Says He Cried After Post-Seperation Sex, Continues To Lose Mind

SOMEBODY STOP DAVID ARQUETTE! Doesn’t that man have any friends? Or family? Or a publicist? We are seriously thinking about stepping in ourselves (for a low, low fee!) to stop him from doing idiotic things like going back on Howard Stern and saying he cried after having sex while separated from wife Courteney Cox Arquette. Said David, “After the first girl I slept with … a few days later … I was, like, crying…It was the end of all the intimacy I shared with my wife. It was like a new thing. It was like … putting that away.” Strangely, boning a fist-fighting waitress couldn’t compare with “that emotional love that I always had with Court” following their 11 years of marriage. Hard to wrap your mind around, we know.

When Stern asked if Arquette was seeing other women, David coyly admitted that,”There’s some stuff happening,” then explained how he hooked up with some random Australian woman, despite being “still f***ing in love with my wife.” The whole episode seems like  one giant viral anti-drug campaign, as far as we’re concerned. Anti-drug or anti-marrying David Arquette. Either way, we have to teach our children early.

When asked if Courteney was sexing up her Cougar Town costar Brian Van Holt, Arquette got all vague and described Van Holt as “a cool guy … Any guy would be blessed to be with her. … I don’t have any hard feelings for anyone. This is life and we are just going through it publicly.” It’s only public because you keep going crazy and talking about it on the radio, David! Seriously, if someone had told us last month that we were going to have a David Arquette-induced stroke, we would have said, “Oh, I knew it.”

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Did Jordan Bratman Assault Christina Aguilera?

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This just keeps getting weirder and weirder. We were all shocked to hear that Christina Aguilera was divorcing Jordan Bratman after five years and one child together. She cited “irreconcilable differences”, but the reasons for the split might be far more sinister if you believe one report. According to RadarOnline, nurses at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medial Center treated Christina for a bloody lip late one night just days before the couple announced they were through.

“Christina was bleeding from her mouth and had a bit of a busted lip,” says a source present at the scene. “Jordan told the nurses she had fallen down.” The witness went on to add that she also had “bumps and red bruises” on her body. The singer’s private surgeon arrived a few minutes later to put some discrete stitches on the cut. Traces of the wound were visible in photos taken later that week, the day their separation was made public.

Aguilera’s reps are keeping quiet on the matter, but that doesn’t stop the speculation on how she sustained her injuries. Was this an innocent accident or was Jordan getting violent with Christina? We’d like to believe it’s the former. File this one under “Rumors We Hate”.

[Photo: Splash News Online]