Celebrity Couples

by (@katespencer)

Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson Could Learn Something Here

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Awww, look how adorable Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan are, kissing it up on the streets of New York! They’re so in love and so hipster-y and so…public. Surely they could teach a thing or two about dating to the obsessively private Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, whose relationship is the worst kept secret in Hollywood. Seems the more those two try to hide it, the more attention they get! And yet, here is an Oscar-nominee and her scandalous, addiction-prone boyfriend butt-grabbing each other, and no one cares. Watch and learn, Edward and Bella!

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Simon Cowell Engaged For Real This Time (Maybe)

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After all the back and forth, RadarOnline is officially reporting that Simon Cowell and girlfriend Mezghan Hussainy are actually, truly, 100% engaged. Hussainy reportedly confirmed the engagement herself to the site. The pair have dated for under a year, but Simon’s rep, Max Clifford said “He’s probably the happiest I have ever known him in the nine years I’ve been working with him.”

Ryan Seacrest even joked with Simon about engagement rumors in the papers on American Idol the other night, but a real confirmation has eluded us until now. Maybe Simon is just ready to take the plunge for the sake of his family tree, he recently copped to wanting kids, saying “I think I need to have little Simons around.” Let’s hope his “little Simons” can take criticism well, Daddy doesn’t like a cryer. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Katy Perry Is A Prisoner In Her Own Bed

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No pun intended (ok, maybe a little) but we’re very hot and cold on Katy Perry. At first we thought her music was kind of shrill and bad, but then she won us over when she was a guest judge on American Idol . When she and Russell Brand started dating, we braced ourselves for obnoxiousness but soon found the pairing kind of sweet. Still, amidst the genuine affection these two seem to share, neither one of them is known for their subtlety, so we weren’t surprised to hear Katy go into too much detail about their sex life.

Perry may as well be training for the sexual Olympics, Russell keeps her just that busy working on her technique. “Can you imagine the kind of responsibility I have with his reputation?” she said, referring to Brand’s previously indiscriminate Benetton heart and c*ck, (John Mayer, take note). “I’m bedridden most of the week,”  Perry explained, not expressing much torment over being held captive by a man she later called “Jim Morrison meets Charles Manson meets Jesus meets a little bit of Elvis Presley.”  We’re not sure if she’s referring to the act of them doing it constantly, or the after effects that require bedrest to recover but either way, our mind’s eye is furiously trying to erase the visuals we’re imagining from both scenarios.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@katespencer)

Lindsay Still Loves Sam, Girls – Not So Much

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Because no American tabloids will talk to her, Lindsay Lohan is inexplicably opening up to UK rag The Sun, over-sharing on everything from her feelings about her addiction (blame Ambien, folks!) to her infatuation with Samantha Ronson. If you enjoy hearing narcissists ramble, you’re in for a treat.

Says Lindsay, “It was a big deal for me because I’ve never had a relationship as public as that, especially being with a girl for the first time. That was really scary for me. But I didn’t care because I love her.”

But wait, there’s more! “I never really thought about women before, it kind of just happened with Samantha,” cooed LiLo. “It surprised me. We’re still in touch. We live in the same apartment building in LA and see each other often. She has always been one of my best friends. If I wasn’t with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She’s the only woman I’ve been attracted to.”

She adds, “We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don’t know.”

The only thing stopping the pair from reuniting under a cloud of dysfunction is Sam’s wise family. “Her family is very involved in her relationships and that was difficult,” says Lindsay. Poor gal, it must be so confusing to be around a family that actually cares for each other!

Revisit the way Sam and Lins were (hint: they were crazy), in our gallery below.

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by (@katespencer)

Gaga Homewrecking Drama: Is The Lady A Tramp?

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Looks like Lady Gaga has gotten herself caught in a bad romance. Ra ra oh la la, indeed! Here’s the (alleged) scoop, in bullet points:

  • Gaga dates stylist/designer/art director type Matthew Williams for a year.
  • The couple splits. Gaga goes out with that fugly Speedy dude, Matthew falls for stylist Erin Hirsh (Google says she did Kanye West‘s Glow In The Dark Tour, so she is legit) and they have a kid together named Cairo. The kid is cute.
  • Matthew joined her on tour when Cairo was just 2 months old, and a source says, “Gaga manipulated to get him back.” Then pictures of the pair making out leaked on to the web, apparently alerting Erin that her baby daddy was playing a Love Game with her and Gaga.
  • Says a source, “Even though Matt had told her in so many words that they were through, actually seeing Gaga getting it on with the father of her child was absolutely devastating to her.”

Al the stuff Gaga sings about is a lot less when it comes true. So what do you think – is the singer screwing up another woman’s life? Video of the other woman involved awaits you below the jump.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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by (@katespencer)

Hilary Duff Gets Engaged, World Vaguely Remembers Who She Is Again

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Good news for Hilary Duff‘s career! The actress/singer appears to be engaged to her hockey star boyfriend, Mike Comrie. The pair, who have dated since 2007, were spotted by paparazzi cameras on the balcony of their Hawaii hotel, cuddling, snuggling and drinking wine. (To answer your question: No, it doesn’t look like she’s headed downtown in that one pic. It’s a stomach kiss, ya pervs.) The photos then show Mike getting down on one knee and proposing, we assume, to Hillary, as she covers her mouth in shock. Further proof: she then returns to the balcony and takes a photo with her iPhone of the giant ring on her left hand. (Check out the pics on ONTD.)

Hilary used to do actual things that made her famous: she starred as Lizzie Maguire (aka, the Hannah Montana of the early 2000s) on the Disney Channel, feuded with Lindsay Lohan over Aaron Carter and had a huge album in 2003, from which the opening theme of “The Hills” was born (thanks for that, Hil). But then she got giant vaneers on her teeth, lost a lot of weight (that she eventually gained back, thankfully) and got stuck doing things washed-up actresses do, like gust starring on “Gossip Girl.”

Let’s hope some new bling and a wedding help to reboot her career and, as a bonus, make her less-talented sister Haylie jealous. Lest we forget: Congrats Hilary! You landed a Canadian, and according what we’ve seen during the Olympics, they’re nice. Well done.  [Photo: SplashNewsOnline]

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John Mayer TMI Of The Day: Sex With Jessica Simpson Was Crazy

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John Mayer is possibly maybe hooking up with Taylor Swift these days, but that doesn’t stop him from talking about all his former conquests. Seriously, no one in the history of time dwells on their exes this much except for this guy. In the March issue of Playboy (but of course), Mayer opens up about ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson , saying “Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say.” Only, guess what. That’s not all he said!

Mayer said that sex with Simpson was like a drug “And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them.” Then the real diarrhea of the mouth started. “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f*ckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my sh*t just to keep f*cking you.’” Um, what? Is it any wonder that Taylor Swift’s mother wants to keep this dirty old man away from her daughter?

In case that quote wasn’t delightful enough, he also said that since breaking up with Simpson he hasn’t spread his love around as much as we’d think. Asked how many women he’s bedded (because why not share that info with the world?) he replied “I’m going to say four or five. No more. But even if I said 12, that’s a reasonable number.[Is it?] So is 15. Here’s the thing: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don’t like jumping through hoops.”  So listen up, local bands, it might seem like a dream to date an actress, but in reality, Jennifer Aniston‘s vagina will make you jump through hoops just to enter, so revel in that ass you’re getting now.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Sam Ronson: First Victim Of Lindsay Lohan Drama Virus

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Samantha Ronson has possibly become infected with a new disease known as the Lindsay Lohan Drama Virus. This contagious illness is spread by spending numerous hours in the dysfunctional D-Lister’s presence, and symptoms include swearing, screaming, stomping feet, tantrums and the uncontrollable urge to shout “Don’t you know who I am?!”

Sam began exhibiting behavior aligned with LLDV (for which there is currently no cure) when she crashed the DJ booth at H.Wood on Wednesday night. The drama went down after she and Lindsay allegedly got into it during her set earlier in the night at Crown Bar, where Lindsay was spotted chugging vodka and grinding with girls to make her ex jealous. When Sam got fed up and sneered, “Why don’t you just have another drink…You’re a disgrace,” LiLo retaliated by throwing a drink in her face.

Fast forward to later in the night: Sam showed up at H. Wood unannounced and supposedly kicked their house DJ out of the booth to play a mix tape. When the club’s manager insisted she get out, her LLDV kicked in, and Sam began dropping the drama, yelling at the manager and causing a scene. Sources even said she “was barely coherent and she was stumbling when she walked.”

Time to lock up your celebrity daughters, America! Lindsay Lohan Drama Virus is real – and it’s spreading. [Photo: GettyImages]

by (@katespencer)

Mariah Prank Calls Hubby’s Radio Show As A Porn-Obsessed Fan

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You gotta hand it to Nick Cannon – that dude puts up with a lot from Mariah Carey, and yet he still seems to love her. From her drunken antics at the People’s Choice Awards to holding her umbrella at the Golden Globes, Nick is the consummate husband who appears to have infinite patience when it comes to his wacky wife (we would have dumped her crazy ass a longggg time ago).

So as weird as this clip of Mimi calling into his radio show pretending to be a porn-obsessed Long Island housewife is, we kinda love it. Instead of getting pissed, Nick enjoys the entire thing, laughing and and hooting about how much he loves the singer once he figures out it’s her on the line. The bizarre interaction sheds a whole lotta light on their relationship: she’s nutty and he loves that about her, and the result is that they’re strangely, amazingly compatible. And that’s a lot more than we can say for most dysfunctional Hollywood couples.  Listen below.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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Sienna Miller Moving In With Jude Law

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Proving that she has learned nothing from the past, Sienna Miller is planning to sell her London home and move in with Jude Law. Miller and Law were engaged in 2006 but broke up when it turned out that Law enjoyed spending quality time inside his children’s nanny. But who’s remembering all that?

A friend told the Daily Mail that, “They are back on track and living together is the next step. They had an amazing holiday at Christmas and made a decision to commit to one another.” The couple reunited back in October when they were both performing on Broadway and we assume they’ll stay together until Jude meets his illegitimate baby’s nanny. Because, oh right, he knocked up another chick in between shtupping the nanny and getting back with Sienna this time around. Again, who’s remembering all that? Certainly not Sienna! [Photo: Getty Images]