After lady drooling over our girl crush Hope Solo during this summer’s Olympics, we assumed the next time we’d hear from the soccer star would be when she decided to present at the ESPYS or, well, during at the 2016 Olympics. (We’re not the biggest sports fans, as it were.) It’s depressing and surprising then to hear about the gold metal goalie’s domestic incident with boyfriend Jerramy Stevens. According to TMZ, former Seattle Seahawks player Stevens was arrested for 4th degree assault Monday following a fight with Solo. If that wasn’t depressing enough, the site also claims that “cops found Solo with a small amount of blood on her elbow” and “she wasn’t very cooperative with police.” Ugh, Hope Solo should be peering at us from the side of the Wheaties box, not making the front page of TMZ! This is unacceptable, Jerramy Stevens. Unacceptable.
Now that we think about it, we never thought we’d hear about Hope’s altercation with DWTS pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy either. Remember? The Olympian wrote in her memoir about how her dance partner slapped across the face? Yup, also horrible. Jerramy Stevens was released from custody later in Monday after it was determined that there was not enough evidence to charge him. Oh, that we could return to this summer, when Hope Solo was only in the news for being awesome at soccer and crazy hot. Those were epic times.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Aaaaand now we’re crying. If you’re like us and love the Modern Family cast like they were your own absurd, amazing in-laws, you’ll be even more horrified than most to learn that Ariel Winter, a.k.a. sardonic middle child Alex Dunphy, has allegedly been removed from her home due to allegations of parental abuse. TMZ reports that Winters, currently 14, was removed by a judge after a guardianship hearing in October revealed allegations of physical and emotional abuse on the part of Ariel’s mother Crystal Workman. Actually, even if you haven’t seen Modern Family, we’re betting everyone will be equally saddened by this story. Everyone in the world.
As if that wasn’t bad enough (and it definitely was), Ariel’s older sister Shanelle Gray was removed from her mother’s house two years ago after similar allegations of abuse were reported to the Department of Children and Family Services. Crystal Workman was allegedly ordered to stay 100 yards from Ariel, who is currently living with sister Shanelle. A hearing has been set up for November 20, after which Ariel will hopefully be able to settle in to a home life that’s more like her sitcom, and less like the emotional version of American Horror Story.
Flavor Flav was arrested in Las Vegas early this morning and changed with assault with a deadly weapon. Geez, and we thought confusing Miley Cyrus with Gwen Stefani was bad. According to reports on TMZ, the 53-year old former rapper and reality star was involved in vicious argument with a teenager in his Nevada home. The teenager’s fiancee was also present, and as tempers flared she called the police around 3 AM. Details are sparse at the moment, but Flav apparently beat one of the two, and threatened the other with a knife. He was arrested on the scene for battery and felony assault with a deadly weapon, and is currently being held on $23,000 bail. It’s also unknown what Flavor Flav’s relationship is to the teenagers, if any.
This is not Flavor Flav’s first brush with assault. In 1991 he was charged with assaulting his girlfriend Karen Ross, and served 30 days in jail as a result. Two years later he was charged with attempted murder for firing shots at his neighbor. Most of his violent offenses seemed to wind down in the late nineties after he went to rehab for crack cocaine, but that didn’t stop his run-ins with the law. He’s received a number of parking and driving offenses, resulting in his arrest in May of last year. We’ll bring you more updates on this bust as soon as we hear!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Well, this is certainly a dilly of a pickle. TMZ reports that Justin Bieber is just latest celebrity to fall prey to “Swatting,” a clever prank in which an idiot or idiots wastes the police force’s time and resources to annoy a celebrity for no reason. LOL, right! A 911 call was placed last night claiming that “someone was waving a gun” near Bieber’s home. The police dispatched officers as well as helicopters to Justin’s block, only to find out that the call was bogus. Haha, who doesn’t love squandering hundreds if not thousands of tax payers’ dollars pissing off Justin Bieber? Way to go, anonymous morons!
Of course, the Biebs isn’t the only famous person who has fallen victim to swatting; Miley Cyrus and Ashton Kutcher have both dealt with similar calls in the last couple months. According to authorities, the calls are typically placed from a phone app, which we guess is better than being placed from a phone in Justin Bieber’s attic. Maybe we’re being drama queens here, but we honestly feel bad for the cops who have to deal with swatting on a regular basis. What are they supposed to do? Not respond an alleged gun-wielding lunatic outside Justin Bieber’s house? That’s probably the first thing they learn on Day 1 at the L.A. Police Academy! It’s in their blood!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Say what you want about Lindsay Lohan‘s tumultuous life, at least it’s filled with surprises. Every news story about Lilo is sort of like an episode of Law & Order: SVU. Just when you think Stabler and Benson have it all wrapped up, you find out in the last five minutes that the accused stalker was actually the judge’s long-lost kidnapped son the entire time. While we’re assuming Christian LaBella, Lindsay’s alleged attacker from an incident at the W Hotel Union Square early Sunday morning, is not her secret lost child, the fact he and Lindsay have both filed harassment charges against one another seems almost as bizarre. While assault charges against LaBella were dropped due to an apparently lack of evidence, according to NYPD Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne, “Cross complaints for harassment were filed and LaBella’s assault arrest was voided after detectives investigated further.” Cross complaints for harassment? Over a fight that broke out because LaBella allegedly took secret photos and video of Lindsay? What does that even mean? And does anyone else suspect we just narrowly avoided a Prince Harry moment starring one Miss Lindsay Lohan?
As if that wasn’t odd enough, LaBella’s uncle Peter Jessop randomly decided to weight in on the incident, telling the New York Daily News, “It’s shameful that a celebrity with a personal publicist can persecute a nice guy like Christian. He’s a decent kid who met her at a nightclub and she invited him back to her hotel room with other people. And now she’s using her celebrity to launch a full-scale witch hunt against him just to be relevant again.” Man, uncles really do not understand what makes people relevant, do they? Amanda Bynes’ uncle, you know what we’re talking about! Haha, we’re kidding of course. No one knows what we’re talking about, least of all us.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
President Obama, we’re almost certain you didn’t step in and fire Amanda Bynes‘ arresting officer like she beseeched you back in June; we imagine we all would have heard about it. Luckily for you, now there’s a brand-new opportunity to help a girl out. All you have to do is fire the judge, lawyers, bailiffs and police officers involved with Amanda Bynes’ upcoming trial, if she ever ends up having to go to court. Easy peasy! The All That star must be pretty confident you’re going to pull through for her, seeing as how she just filed a not guilty plea for her two counts of hit-and-run. Think about it: what’s the point of getting another term if you aren’t going to do personal favors for former child stars? That would be our one and only reason to ever run for office!
The Los Angeles City Attorney filed charges against Bynes back on Septemer 5, and the actress is due back in court October 19. Uh, does everyone remember the fact that one of Amanda’s hit-and-run charges stems from an incident where she sideswiped a police car? Obama, maybe could you loan Amanda one of those secret government time machines to journey back and call a cab instead? Then travel further back and prevent ancient man from inventing alcohol? Girl still has a DUI charge to deal with, and it would be a big help if the space-time continuum could take care of that one for her.
[Photo: Getty Images]
It looks like Rihanna and Chris Brown have had a rough couple of days, although in very different ways. Chris appeared in court yesterday for a probation progress hearing stemming from his 2009 felony battery conviction. According to TMZ, the singer failed his mandatory drug test, which put his probation status as risk of being revoked. Lucky for him the judge cut him a break, as long as he stayed “mindful” of the law. But still, that wasn’t the most extraordinary act of kindness of the day. Rihanna sent him a good luck tweet before the hearing, sending positive vibes his way.
“I’m praying for you and wishing u the best today!” she said. Chris responded with a simple “Thank u so much,” but sources say that Riri’s support made his day. “That was real cool of Rihanna showing the homie some love before he went in [to court.] I’m sure that made him happy,” an insider told HollywoodLife. “You know, Rihanna be really looking out for his a–, man. She’s so down. Just being down and real and true and loving. He need that right now.” Following news of Chris’ drug test troubles, Rihanna appeared to send him another supportive tweet. “Praying for you baby, my best wishes are with you today! Remember that whatever God does in our lives, it is WELL DONE!!! #1Love.” Although it doesn’t mention him by name, he definitely seems to be directed at him. Damn, if forgiveness is a virtue, then Riri’s got it in every shade!
It’s days like these we’re glad we’re not police detectives. Every other day…well, it’s our biggest regret. The New York Post has the security footage from Lindsay Lohan‘s alleged hit-and-run accident Tuesday night, and it’s about as opaque as the bystanders’ tastefully obscured faces. On one hand, you do not see tourists leaping out of the way as Lindsay careens into The Dream Hotel on two wheels, nor do they, you know, act in any way like they’ve just witnessed an accident. On the other hand, you do see someone (ostensibly Jose Rodriquez, the man who claimed Lindsay struck him) hustling after the car as it drives out of frame.
We honestly don’t know what information, if any, to take away from the video, though we do know it’s not nearly as big a disaster as…
If you had guessed by now that Lindsay Lohan‘s snarky tweet about Amanda Bynes‘ on-going legal troubles would kickstart a feud, we’d say this isn’t your first time at the Celebrity Gossip Rodeo. “I HATE being compared to her,” TMZ alleges Amanda texted a friend about Lindsay’s tweet. We’d probably hate being compared to Lindsay too. It’s just…a really easy comparison to make, you know? It also doesn’t help to hear that Amanda was allegedly driving aimlessly around the Burbank airport “drawing attention to herself” before she was pulled over on Sunday. We’d compare her to George Washington if we could, but the connections are just way harder to make. Amanda doesn’t wear a powdered wig, and George was dead over a century before cars were invented!
As peeved as the All That alum might be at Lilo for calling her out, it’s Amanda’s uncle who will probably bare the brunt of her wrath. “She needs to stop drinking and driving,” Amanda’s uncle Ronald Bynes told Celebuzz. “She needs help.” Uncles, the nation’s foremost news source: because you’re going to tell someone about your driving woes, it’s definitely your gossipy Uncle Ron. Claims Bynes, “[Her father] doesn’t want to talk about her and often changes the subject. The problem is there’s no correspondence [between Amanda and her parents]. I don’t even think they know what’s going on with he.” Says Ron, “They’re very upset about her recent problems, but they’re in the dark.” On one hand, come on Uncle Ronald! Why you blowing up Mandy’s spot like this? On the other hand…if Amanda’s father honestly can’t even talk about his daughter’s problem, that might explain why her crisis seems to be continuing unabated…
[Photo: Getty Images]
Wait a minute…somebody looked at evidence in a celeb criminal investigation and concluded that they didn’t do it? What is this, Opposite Day? We thought that was in March! According to TMZ, however, sources who have allegedly sneaked a peek at the security footage from Miley Cyrus‘ alleged nightclub fight from last weekend say it confirms what Miley and Liam Hemsworth have been saying all along: Miley never, ever threw a punch at a fellow bar patron. While a police investigation into the event continues, their sources scoffs that he or she is “almost certain” Miley won’t be charged over the alleged event. Where upon we realized that this is only the latest situation where Miley Cyrus’ life could have jumped the rails and skidded off into Amanda Bynes/Lindsay Lohan territory, but didn’t. No, seriously! Think about it!