We’re starting to suspect that someone must have watched Joaquin Phoenix‘s mock-umentary I’m Still Here and been inspired to try to the whole “meta celebrity breakdown” route. Why else would Amanda Bynes drive around without her headlights on a week after she had her license suspended over multiple hit and run charges? According to TMZ, the She’s The Man star was allegedly pulled over by the cops last night after the boys in blue noticed she was hurtling through the darkness sans headlights. Our question is: don’t most modern cars automatically turn on the headlights when it gets dark? Ah ha! Add another check mark in the “Celebrity Hoax” column!
The police apparently let Amanda go despite the fact she was driving with a suspended license. TMZ also claims the actress refused a breathalyzer test; seeing as how Amanda was charged with DUI this summer, her refusal might trigger a one-year suspension. On the other hand, her license is already suspended, so we imagine the repercussions will be…worse? Either way, we’re predicting that Amanda will grow a beard, act nuts on Letterman and announce a rap career next week. All of which sounds a lot better than what’s probably actually going to happen: more of the same.
Related: Amanda Bynes No Longer In The Clear For Her Old Hit and Run Case
Our Lilo Deja Vu Only Grows Stronger: Amanda Bynes Charged With 2 Counts Of Hit and Run
[Photo: Getty Images]
We knew that pompadour was the work of the devil! The fabulous, fabulous devil! We’re kidding about the malevolent nature of Miley Cyrus‘ poof, of course, but news that Miley is suspected of criminal battery following an alleged nightclub brawl is so out of character, we instinctively tried to think of some other rationale. According to TMZ, a police report filed Sunday morning alleges that the singer and fiance Liam Hemsworth got into an argument with another patron that turned physical Saturday night while at Hollywood’s Beacher’s Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel. In the report, the alleged victim claims he bumped into Liam’s chair, causing the Red Dawn star to turn on him…though he claims it was Cyrus who ended up “pushing him away and striking him in the face.” So that’s why we were thinking that the bleach ate through to Miley’s brain and triggered some sort of berserker state. We’re just spit-balling here, you guys! There has to be some kind of reasonable explanation, right?
Or maybe this story is so unbelievable because it, um, never actually happened. According to another eye witness, while Cyrus did turn up the sass, “Miley never threw a punch.” That makes more sense to us. Have you ever seen that girl’s Twitter account? It’s 40 percent Buddhist sayings, 60 percent puppy photos. Though photos of her hair have been taking over her Instagram…we’ve got our eye on you, Pompadour! Don’t think Miley won’t shave you off if she has to!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Same multiple vehicular infractions, same child star past, same mile-long extensions and thousand-yard stare: if it wasn’t for the name, we’d might think the latest update bout Amanda Bynes‘ constant string of minor car accidents was just Lindsay Lohan news recycled from 2010. Or 2011. Or, um, from earlier this summer. Granted, Lindsay never went so far as to tweet at President Obama demanding he both clear her of DUI charges and “fire the cop who arrested” her as Bynes did, but other than that both ladies seem equally as likely to act like it’s celebrity bumper cars up in here.
According to TMZ, the All That alum is now being charged with two counts of hit-and-run, the first from an April incident where Amanda drunkenly sideswiped a cop car, the second from a fender bender back in August. Authorities allegedly brought the charges after determining that damage to the victim’s car matched that sustained by Bynes’ vehicle. If convicted on both counts, the actress could face up to a year in jail. Oh dear god, remember when Lindsay was in jail? That first time? We are not prepared to go through all of that again. For either of them!
[Photo: Getty Images]
While many celebs spent the warmer months gallivanting in the Hamptons, yachting in the Mediterrean or hitting up [the VIP sections of] music festivals, some were making questionable decisions like staging a protest in Costco, brawling in bars, driving like maniacs and “servicing” themselves in movie theaters. The summer temps brought out “the naughty” in stars ranging from The Biebs to Randy Travis to Fred Willard. Here are 14 celebrities who got arrested, barely slipped by or at the least induced major facepalms this summer.
It wouldn’t be a Lindsay Lohan story if it was completely straightforward, would it? Hours after TMZ reported that The Canyons star was an official suspect in a jewelry theft at friend Sam Magid‘s house, they’re now reporting that Lilo is allegedly spilling the beans about who she believes is the real culprit: Andrew Knight, son of Suge Knight. Twist! Lindsay had allegedly given Knight and another friend several of the Magid’s stolen items, only to have the two men return them to Magid. As if that wasn’t odd enough, Magid now claims that Lindsay admitted to hiding the jewelry around his home in order to protect it from other potential burglars. Unfortunately for both of them, “Lindsay confessed she was on Ambien at the time she hid the jewelry and was hazy about exactly what happened.” Right. Sure. Why not? We guess our only questions then would be:
- Since when are Lindsay Lohan and Suge Knight’s son buddies? Did they have a meet cute?
- Why would Suge Knight’s son need to steal anything, let alone “$100,000 watches and sunglasses”? Doesn’t add up. Math humor!
- Lindsay was hiding Magid’s personal belongings around his house in order to protect them from other burglars? This actually seems surprisingly plausible, doesn’t it?
- Who takes Ambien and then goes to an all-night party?
If you thought Lindsay Lohan was going to give up her crown to Amanda Bynes so easily, we would ask you to please think again. It was weird enough when we heard Lindsay has flipped out at Clint Eastwood‘s daughter’s birthday party (we know), but now the host of an all-night Hollywood party is claiming Lohan’s friends stole “several expensive watches and some sunglasses” during the festivities. According to TMZ, Lindsay allegedly brought her brother Cody and two male buddies to the party Sunday night. When the host noticed his belongings were missing, he held the party goers, alerted authorities and told police he suspected Lilo’s friends of thievery. Yup, while Amanda is racking up car accidents at a very similar rate, Lindsay still cannot be challenged when it comes to down-right bizarre accusations.
We do want to be clear, though: it’s Lindsay’s friends who stand accused of stealing, not her. On the other hand…when’s the last time you heard about Amy Adams or Jessica Chastain paling around with the criminal element? Not never. It probably doesn’t help that Lindsay, you know, stole that jewelry last year. Bynes, you are really going to have to step up your game if you want the heavyweight hot mess belt. Luckily the belt looks amazing paired with hyper-long extensions and cut-off Daisy Dukes, so you know it’ll look fierce no matter who’s wearing it.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Some people may be having a little too much fun during this holiday week. On July 4th, 16 and Pregnant baby daddy Weston Gosa got into a bit of a sticky situation behind the wheel. After crashing his car, this winner was arrested when police discovered that he was under the influence of prescription drugs. Though his mug shot is probably one of the most amusing ones we’ve come across in awhile, it falls among the many that 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom stars have consistently provided us.
It appears these shows’ casts just can’t seem to escape the po po and keep on flailing in legal hot water. For some of these young parents like Janelle Evans and Amber Portwood, their trainwreck days seem far from over. (Portwood did recently choose a 5-year prison sentence over a stint in rehab soo she might be living the thug life for awhile). In light of the fact that so many of these stars have run into some trouble with the law, we have compiled their rap sheets and we gotta say, these teens do not mess around. From beating the bejesus out of their…well, really anyone…to getting DUI’s, these are some hot messes through and through.
Whitney Purvis: In March, 2012, this 16 and Pregnant season 1 celeb was arrested for stealing a pregnancy test from a Georgia Wal-Mart. She later announced that she was not pregnant, yet again. Thank god.
Joshua Rendon and Ebony Jackson-Rendon: This unstable 16 and Pregnant pair was arrested in September, 2011, facing felony charges of maintaining a drug premise and making unauthorized use of another’s property to abet a crime. They also faced misdemeanor charges of endangering the welfare of a minor (their 2-year-old daughter), possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance. Though they subsequently lost custody of their child, they now claim they are ready for another baby. Hmm.
Aubrey Wolters: In July 2011, Aubrey was slapped with shoplifting charges and ordered to stay away from Wal-Mart for one year after she was caught stealing $29.66 worth of cosmetics from the store. Beware Wal-Mart: Wolters is free to enter the store this month. Let’s keep your hands where we can see them, Aubrey.
Kianna Randall: The 16 and Pregnant season 3 rebel was charged with one count of attempted burglary of a habitation and one count of attempted burglary of habitation-theft in August, 2011. This wasn’t a joking matter as attempted burglary of a habitation is a second degree felony in the state of Texas. Not cool, Randall.
After being convicted of murder last month, William Balfour, the man who killed Jennifer Hudson‘s mother, brother and nephew in October 2008, is apparently looking for a retrial. According to Balfour and his attorney, it was Jennifer Hudson‘s fame that was at least partially responsible for his guilty verdict. Uh…huh. “The testimony was irrelevant, and because of the fame of the witness, the prejudicial effect of the testimony on the jury outweighed any probative value that it would have,” Balfour’s assistant public defender Amy Thompson said in a motion she submitted today; Hudson was the first witness to testify against her former brother-in-law in court. That’s how being famous works, right? Juries just convict people based on whether they liked Dreamgirls? Oh no…considering everyone liked Dreamgirls, we now face the complete collapse of the American judicial system!
In JHud’s defense, the prosecution in Balfour’s case reportedly called over 80 witnesses, presented evidence of death threats made by Balfour toward Hudon’s sister Julia and cited “overwhelming circumstantial evidence” against him. Meanwhile, the defense called two witnesses and rested their case after 30 minutes. Is all we’re saying. Either way, we hope justice will be served, but come on…let’s give jurors at least some credit.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We don’t know any catchphrases from The Hughleys off hand, so we’ll just settle for “Holy s–t!” Former actor Dee Jay Daniels, who starred as D.L. Hughley’s smart aleck son Michael in the sitcom, has been arrested in California for a whole host of charges ranging from marijuana possession, gang activities and premeditated murder. The 23-year-old ex-child star has been linked to a fatal stabbing that occurred outside of a nightclub last August. He stands accused along with two other men, all of whom are suspected to be members of the notorious LA gang known as the Bloods. Despite this, it’s unknown whether the killing was the result of a gang dispute. Dee Jay, whose real name is Dorjan Lyndell Daniels, is being held in San Joaquin County jail where he’s staring down a potential life imprisonment sentence.
[Photo: Getty Images]
After having what for most people would be the worst week of their life, Lost actor Matthew Fox some good news today. Of course, no news could be good enough to counterbalance the awfulness he was accused of on Wednesday, so take that into consideration. After being arrested for a DUI in Oregon earlier this month, TMZ reports that Fox struck a plea deal with prosecutors which will ensure he doesn’t get jail time; as part of the deal Matthew pled no contest to one count of DUI, lost his license for a year and has to undergo drug and alcohol treatment. Oh, boy. Actually, that news is kind of a mixed bag, too.
That being said, the actor had to be pleased that Heather Bormann, the Cleveland party bus driver who accused Fox of assaulting her last year, had her case recently withdrawn by her lawyer after she allegedly “intentionally failed and refused to provide full and timely cooperation and information.” Boy, that’s kind of unsettling too, right? Oh, and then there’s the part where his former Lost costar Dominic Monaghan took to Twitter and claimed that Fox “beats women.” You know what? Forget we said anything. Matthew Fox’s whole situation is still coming out deep in the negative column.
[Photo: Getty Images]