Guys, guys, you can stop throwing up now! Brett Ratner and Sandra Bullock are not going out with each other! Despite what InTouch Magazine proclaimed on its cover via salacious blurb, the Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close actress and the defamed would-be Oscars producer/ homophobic comment-making director are not knocking…knocking…knocking boots. Oh boy, here comes our lunch again! “We think that it’s incredibly sad that in these times, this magazine would resort to complete fabrication, solely for financial gain,” Bullock and Ratner reported to The Huffington Post about the sexy, perturbing rumor. Thank goodness! We’ve been trying to eat the second half of this sandwich all day!
“There is not a shred of accuracy in their story,” their denial continued. “We have not seen nor spoken to each for over a decade. We both had a great time after the Oscars, just not with each other.” Phew! And with that, Brett can get back to directing The Rock in Hercules, Sandra can get back to filming the sci-fi thriler Gravity with George Clooney and you, dear reader, can get back to what you were doing before we busted in with the good news: trying not to barf over that alleged Lindsay Lohan/Terry Richardson hookup.
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Rihanna threw herself a pity party on The Jonathan Ross Show this week over her unbearable singleness, but how can this woman be unattached when she looks this dirty fabulous on her new Italian Battleship poster? Even with those tattoos? It defies all logic! “Single life is so overrated,” RiRi sighed on the British talk show. “It sucks. I have such incredible experiences in my life. You don’t want to live your life and then meet someone. You want to share your life with someone. That’s what I’m missing right now.” Look, we love sexy Rihanna and hipster Rihanna as much as anyone else. But tatted-up, alien-fighting Rihanna? The idea that this image can exist in the world and RiRi not have engagement rings stacked on every finger is baffling to us.
Rihanna‘s complaints also suggest to us that rumors about a Rihanna/Chris Brown reunion have been greatly exaggerated. As does her level of Adele obsession, which based on our experience, suggests she is days away from creating an OkCupid profile. “Her last album, 21, spoke to me so much,” Rihanna said of the British songstress. “It was so personal to her, but I feel like everyone in the world identified with it, to the point that I had to stop listening because it was depressing me so much. If you identify with it, sometimes you don’t want to hear about it.” Do you want to hear about how fierce you looking holding a machine gun instead, RiRi? Because that’s what we want to talk about. And we have got all day.
Just as their characters Rachel and Finn are about to lock it down on Glee (Or are they?)(Yeah, we think they are!), show stars Cory Monteith and Lea Michele are allegedly making sweet, sweet music together as a couple in real life. “It just sort of happened,” a source close to the show told Celebuzz. “No one is sure just yet how serious it is yet, but they both seem pretty happy.” This gives us hope that every plot line on Glee is secretly true. Brittany and Santana 4 Lyfe! Oh, and please let Jane Lynch actually be pregnant. Do it for us, Universe!
According to Us Weekly, the pair visited Monteith’s hometown of Vancouver this past weekend, where “[t]hey stayed in a hotel, toured Grouse Mountain and went for sushi and sake.” So are these two just “hooking up,” as one source claimed, or is it something more, something…mash-up worthy? We hope it’ll be just like Hiram, one of Rachel’s dads, said in last week’s episode, “Even Patti Lupone herself couldn’t talk Rachel out of marrying Finn.” But can any human love really be that strong?
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It’s been almost two years since Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush called it quits for realsies, but once the two were spotted hanging out together at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Sunday, tongues started wagging about them one again. Sadly, it seems Kim and Reggie’s rekindled relationship has only reached the level of “Casual Brunch Buddies” so far. “I think they both were just at the same place at the same time,” Khloe Kardashian claimed while calling into Ryan Seacrest‘s KIIS-FM show this morning. “I don’t think they were on a date together.” Yeah, we should have known. There is nothing romantic about a meal that includes hash browns. Nothing!
Personally, we can’t say we’d be completely surprised to see Kim and Reggie back together, though there is that little matter of how Kim allegedly cheated on him with Kanye. Oh right, and the fact that she’s still legally wedded to Kris Humphries. The point is, if it were to happen, at least one member of the Kardashian family would be onboard. “I love ‘The Bush and The Tush,’ ” Khloe admitted. “You can’t do much better than that.” Nor would we want to!
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Well, this is … unexpected. According to TMZ, George Clooney‘s ex Elisabetta Canalis and Jackass star Steve-O were spotted visiting the Trust Hair Salon in West Hollywood this weekend; rumor has it the two have reportedly been hanging out for the past month or so. We know what you’re thinking: “Just because they have the same stylist doesn’t mean they’re canoodling, you guys. Maybe they just have the same kind of problem scalp!” Let’s not be naive, shall we? On an unrelated note, could someone check and see if Sarah Larson is currently dating Wee Man? We just got a powerful premonition the answer is yes.
In case you had forgotten, Elisabetta was last seen rebounding with Necessary Roughness hottie Mehcad Brooks this fall, after splitting with Clooney over the summer. Steve-O was last seen drinking Preston Lacy‘s exercise sweat in Jackass 3D. We guess Canalis really doesn’t have a type, unless it’s just generally “funny men who get paid to do the thing they love.” That must be it, because there is no way Clooney has been voluntarily hit in the junk nearly as many times as her new man. Meanwhile, George sits up at night watching Stacy Keibler sleep, all the while just…wondering.
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You can uncross your fingers and keister your rabbit’s foot, you guys. According to the “Tonight” singer’s rep, Chris Brown and Rihanna are not dating, but rather merely friends. We should hope so! These two have come too far and taken up too many existentially depressing blog inches to turn back the clock now!
The rumors of their illicit canoodling were fueled this weekend when RiRi and CB were both spotted at nightclub Greystone Manor in Hollywood around the same time. But until we see Chris Brown and Rihanna ride away from a club in an elaborate horse-drawn carriage to the strains of Pachelbel’s “Canon,” we’re going to assume these kinds of run-ins are pure accidental. If that doesn’t convince you, keep in mind that Chris’ current lady friend, model Karrueche Tran, was also in attendance at the bar on Sunday, making the likelihood of a late-night rendezvous between exes slim to none. We like those odds.
[Photo: Splash News Online/]
Stretch your calves for a moonlight stroll and dry clean your luxurious bear skin rug: Taylor Swift and Zac Efron are allegedly “going apple picking,” if you get our drift (Ew, what? We’re sorry). Us Weekly reports that the “Mine” singer and the New Year’s Eve actor were spotted “deep in conversation and very giggly” at L.A. restaurant Pace on January 6. Though, haha, if we were dating everyone we had deep, giggly conversation with, we would be dating you, dear readers. Unless…wait, are we dating you?
While Efron has been more or less single since his split with Vanessa Hudgens in December 2010, Taylor has allegedly been getting her tiny porcelain heart smashed to bits in 20122 by the likes of Jake Gyllenhaal, among others. Personally we can totally see this couple working: Efron and Swift are both gorgeous, they both have great hair, they both…um….probably have many other fine qualities in common. Either way, Zac can pretty much count on mid-tempo ballad with his name on it. No, literally. It’ll be called “Dear Zac.” We’re calling it now.
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How come only celebrities seem to canoodle? Are average people canoodling and we just don’t know about it? Doesn’t the word ‘canoodle’ call to mind a big bowl of pasta, except instead of noodles, it’s filled with A-listers flopping around in a puddle of carbonara sauce? Allegedly canoodling in the more traditional sense (unless they’re into that kind of thing), are Jonah Hill and Dustin Hoffman‘s daughter Ali, who sources say have recently started dating. Although…are you still picturing them in that bowl thing? Us too. We’re so sorry.
As a source told Us Weekly, “They grew up together and they have been dating for a bit.” In addition being friends with his daughter and son Jake, Jonah was discovered by the elder Hoffman as a teenager; Dustin even helped land Hill a role in his first film I Heart Huckabees. “Jonah was in Hawaii over the holidays with the Hoffman clan,” another source explained to The New York Post. Hmm, so Ali is dating a guy who’s friends with her entire family and basically has a career due to her dad’s intervention. That seems a little weird, right? We’re going to go ahead and visualize that big bowl of celebrity pasta again just to get that off our minds. Ah…there we go.
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If you think that Jennifer Lopez is the only one newly separated and having a blast, then think again. Her ex, Marc Anthony, is doing exactly the same. While J.Lo is with Caspar Smart, news has emerged that Marc is dating a gorgeous, 24-year-old Venezuelan model named Shannon de Lima. In fact, the photograph you see above is of them, and Marc posted it on his own Facebook page. The singer also just tweeted his new main squeeze yesterday writing, “A mi Shadelima mi estatua de libertad. Besos bebe,” which translates to, “To my Shadelima, my statue of liberty. Kisses, baby.” We’d say this wasn’t just a rumor. Interestingly enough, both Casper and Shannon are the same age: 24. Do we see a competition happening?
[Photo via Marc Anthony's Facebook Page]
Well, are they? There’s a very fine line between “insanely hot friends” and “insanely hot friends with benefits.” If rumors are true, Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana are currently hurtling over that line on a rocket-powered, Cupid-navigated hovercraft of love. So to speak. E! Online reported today that The Words co-stars are allegedly canoodling, citing one source who declared, “They are totally dating.” Hmmm, that sounds exactly like what we would scream out a cab window if we saw Bradley and Zoe kissing on the street. We’ll go ahead and file it as People’s Sexy Evidence A.
Saldana’s rep denied the two were romantically linked after they were spotted clubbing together last month, though it did nothing to quash gossip that the two spent their holidays together on ski trip. All we’re saying is, Zoe and fiance Keith Britton split in November after 11 years together. That very same month, the world was reminded of Bradley’s smokey hotness via his People’s Sexiest Man Alive win. Mere sexy coincidence? We sexy hope not. Oh, how we sexy hope not.