Celebrity Divorce

by (@missmuttoo)

ScarJo And Ryan Reynolds: Divorcing, Yet Lunch Buddies

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Divorcing stars Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds don’t seem like that sort who would start throwing things at each other in public. It’s almost like the break-up is happening much like their getting together did: quietly and without any fanfare. Remember how ScarJo and Ryan announced their split to the world? Even their joint statement sounds logical and calm, reading, “After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage. We entered our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.” See, what we mean?

This wasn’t a load of BS. ScarJo and Ryan met up for lunch recently, which totally makes them better than we ever could be—try to catch us sitting down with a freshly ‘released’ ex. The two met up at the Blue Ribbons restaurant in New York, where a source told People that, “They were smiling and laughing the whole time.”  But lest you get your hopes up, it was all in the platonic vein. The source added, “They just wanted to connect and have a friendly chat. They just wanted to sit down together. The tone was light and fun despite the untruths that the media is working up. They aren’t reconciling. This was just two people who were married being civil and friendly.” Yes, it can apparently happen.

Sounds much like the Eva Longoria and Tony Parker lunch! The only difference is that the latter has (or had) major dramz going down, and we hear nary a stray sext from ScarJo and Ryan.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Julia Stiles Denies Being Dexter’s Other Woman

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Looks like we won’t be getting that steamy serial killer love triangle we asked Santa for this year, since Julia Stiles has denied having an affair with Dexter’s Michael C. Hall. Despite rumors that Stiles and Hall have been flirting all over the show’s blood-spattered set, Julia says any gossip suggesting that she had a hand in Hall’s divorce from co-star Jennifer Carpenter is just ridiculous. “I have absolutely nothing to do with the split between Michael and Jennifer. We are good friends and enjoyed working together,” Stiles claimed. We were wondering how that amount of awkwardness was going to fit on one sound stage. Now they only have to kill off one character at the end of the season!

“This is a personal matter between them, and we should respect their privacy. Although I too prefer to keep my private life private, I felt compelled to dispel the rumors I was somehow the cause for this matter,” she concluded. Looks like Julia will have to put the lotion on her skin herself this Christmas. [Photos: Getty Images/Showtime]

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Ryan And Scarlett’s Divorce: No Drama, Still Depressing

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson‘s divorce could really use a villain. After all, why else would E! Online be drumming up gossip about Blake Lively seducing her Green Lantern co-star? But even ol’ Ted Casablanca can’t really get behind that one, especially when Blake’s being spotted with Ryan Gosling (so many Ryans). No, rather than the usual backstage affair or fetish model (oooh, if only it was a fetish model), it really looks like these two “drifted apart.” Yeesh, how are we supposed to feel superior to that?

“Distance and their careers played a big role. When you don’t spend a lot of time with your partner you grow apart,” a source told People. “They were on different pages.” Though they were allegedly talking nurseries when they bought a mansion this summer, Radar says Rylett’s August trip to Switzerland was colder than the ski slopes. According to the Daily News, months of alone time and therapy inspired ScarJo to call it quits in November, with Reynolds not putting up much of a fight. We could joke that not even his wife thought Ryan Reynolds was the Sexiest Man Alive (ok, we just did), but now that we’ve heard Scarlett’s sitting in Jamaica with her girlfriends, unable to take off her wedding ring…sorry, there’s just something in our eyes.

[Photo: WireImage]

by (@hallekiefer)

Ryan Reynolds And Scarlett Johansson Are Splitting Up?!?!

Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds

In news that leaves us unexpectedly devastated, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are getting divorced. But..but…but we picked them for the Hottest Baby Ever Made pool! They can’t bail on us now! Reports suggest that the couple’s busy acting schedules are behind the split, which Johansson apparently initiated. “The big problem with their relationship is the distance. They spent a lot of time apart when they are working…She’s been unhappy for a while,” says a source close to the couple. “After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage,” said the couple in the statement. “We entered our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.”

Johansson and Reynolds have allegedly been separated for two weeks, the break-up coming two years after their wedding in September 2008. Rumors swirled earlier this fall that the marriage was on the rocks when Ryan declined to make a cameo while Johansson hosted SNL, but were easy to dismiss since the couple seemed so happy otherwise. The fact that Scarlett forgot Ryan from her Tony acceptable speech doesn’t look good in retrospect, either. We are honestly way more depressed by this news than we ever thought possible. We mean, once you’ve loved the hottest man/woman alive, where is there to go…but down?

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by (@missmuttoo)

Michael C. Hall And Jennifer Carpenter Are The Latest Couple To Divorce

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Joining the latest pile of dead marriages in the Hollywood graveyard are Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter‘s brief stint together. The two actors play brother and sister on one of our favorite shows, Dexter. They got married in December 2008, but they didn’t really make this two year anniversary: their statement to Entertainment Weekly reveals that they’ve been separated for a while now. The soon-to-be ex-couple’s joint brief reads, “Having been separated for some time, Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall have filed for divorce.”

This divorce seems especially sad to report because of the rough 2010 the actor has already had. Michael was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma earlier this year. Fighting cancer and getting divorced all in one shot? That’s just harsh. Their reps say the split is amicable, and for once, we’re hoping that’s not a load of crock. He’s in remission now and deserves a break.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Kate Winslet Heading Back To England With Ex-Husband?

Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes

For a recently divorced couple, Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes sure don’t mind spending time together. The Oscar-winning actress told The Daily Mail that she’ll be bringing the kids back to the UK if her Oscar-winning ex directs the next James Bond movie as planned. “We’ll all be in England if that happens. It’s such a massive commitment for him and it’s not fair for him to commute backwards and ­forwards to New York from ­London. It would be impossible. The children will be there with me.” Wow! Most single mothers we know would probably say “his Bond movie, his problem,” even if they were collecting Titanic residuals like she is.

Winslet offered more proof of her amicable relationship with the Revolutionary Road director in the interview, claiming she’d even be willing to work with him again. “I can see us working together again—that’s the way it is. We’re really good friends and have very good respect for each other. I can see it, but you’d have to ask Sam what he thinks.” Bond movie,  ex-wife willing to follow him over the Atlantic…we’re guessing Sam thinks he has it pretty good.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Erin Barry Speaks, “I Did Not Have An Affair With Tony Parker”

She took her time, but Erin Barry is finally speaking up about her supposed sexting scandal with Eva Longoria‘s (soon-t0-be) ex husband, Tony Parker. As a source explained to RadarOnline, “Tony had Erin’s personal information stored in an electronic program that only he could access. But one day he forgot to close the program and that’s when Eva found it.” Considering Erin’s been silent for quite some time now about her role in ending the Parker-Longoria marriage, it’s no wonder that she’s venting full scale in a “statement.” And by that we means paragraphs of denial.

Barry wrote, “It has been brought to my attention that people who do not know me think that I have had an affair with Tony Parker. I have received hundreds of emails and phone calls from supportive friends who do know me and know that what is being insinuated about me is a complete lie. I am so busy with my children and law school studies that to take even a few moments out of my day to address this ludicrous issue is an annoyance. I only take the time to explain myself because apparently my silence, as a result of my indifference, has been construed as an admission of guilt. These are my words and this is the last you will hear from me on this subject because I have more important things to do. I DID NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH TONY PARKER, nor did I “pursue” Tony Parker….”

You can read the whole statement here on her website, but we warn you, it gets very PSA in the end. But the question is: if there was nothing going on, then why were there sexts in the first place? Eva didn’t imagine them, and there’s no mention of them in this explanation.

by (@missmuttoo)

Eva Longoria And Tony Parker Meet For Lunch

This is unusual—we’re not used to soon-to-be-divorced couples sitting down together for a bite to eat. That’s why we were surprised to hear that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker got lunch yesterday. There’s been news of Eva blindsiding Tony with the divorce, followed by reports of Tony insisting he knew they were splitting, so their graph has been all over the place. One doesn’t usually act chummy with a husband who has been sexting other women.

They’re not reconciling, reveals a source, but they did sit down and eat some lunch together at a hotel in L.A. The source explains, “It was just a friendly lunch to work out the details of the divorce. It’s been very amicable. They still get along.” Somehow, we find that hard to believe. Civil, yes, amicable… too soon.

by (@hallekiefer)

Tony Parker’s Lawyer Quits Due To Too Much Irony

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First come the sexy texts, then the quitting lawyers: so far Tony Parker and Eva Longoria’s divorce is going exactly how we’d fantasized it would. Sources are saying that Tony Parker’s lawyer Richard Orsinger quit due to a conflict of interest. What would that conflict be, exactly? Oh, just that he’s also representing Tony’s ex-San Antonio Spurs teammate Brian Barry…in his divorce from Parker’s alleged mistress Erin Barry. Twist!

When Orsinger submitted Parker’s divorce papers on November 19, he reportedly had no idea that he was going Beyond Cheaterdome by representing both men. Once Orsinger recognized the conflict of interest, he decided to give Parker the boot. Sources say Tony is currently looking for new representation and will forge ahead with the divorce as planned. We, for one, don’t blame Orsinger for leaving. Really, how could anyone keep that many filthy texts straight? [Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

It’s Curtains For Neve Campbell’s Marriage

Who’s that standing like the Grim Reaper next to Neve Campbell? Her soon-to-be ex husband John Light, that’s who. She’s been super sneaky about the divorce proceedings too, considering she filed, citing the usual “irreconcilable differences”, five months ago.

What’s weird is that a source supposedly maintains that, “They’re still really close friends, and it was a very amicable divorce.” Which sounds like a load of crock to us because apparently, Neve is working towards a plea that will keep her from providing any spousal support to Light, an English actor. You know what happens when money, specifically the lack of it, is involved. Things tend to get nasty very quickly. They’ve been married for 3 years, so he’s probably thinking he’s entitled to something. We’ll just have to wait and say how “amicable” things remain during the hearing, which is in a few weeks. Good thing Neve knows how to Scream.