Celebrity Divorces

by (@shalapitcher)

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Are Divorcing: All Mourn TomKat!

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Divorce

How’s this for a sad start to your weekend? People is reporting that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce.

“This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family,” Holmes’ attorney Jonathan Wolfe told People. “Katie’s primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter’s best interest.”

Update: According to TMZ, it was Katie who filed for divorce in New York yesterday, citing irreconcilable differences and seeking sole custody of 6-year-old Suri. The site claims Tom was “blindsided” by the whole thing.

Cruise, 49, and Holmes, 33, have been married for five years. They got engaged in June 2005, following a whirlwind romance, and shortly after that announced that Katie was pregnant. They were married in Italy in November 2006 when daughter Suri was 7 months old. This was Tom’s third marriage and Katie’s first.

We’ll keep you updated as more news becomes available. Part of us is still hoping this is just a publicity stunt to boost Rock of Ages’ box-office numbers and they’ll live happily ever after very soon. Sigh.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Katy Perry Sheds Tears Over Russell Brand In Part Of Me

Katy Perry did promise us that her 3-D concert doc, Part of Me, would show everything she was going through while on tour, including her rocky relationship with soon-to-be-ex-husband Russell Brand. Now we’re getting a better idea of just how much she’s showing in the flick, which hits theaters on July 5.

In an interview with MTV News, Perry explained that though it is hard to deal with her split publicly, she wanted to show her fans even the ugly side to her story. “The truth will always prevail,” Perry said. “If you were to have seen that movie and walked out and [my breakup] wasn’t at all mentioned, like it never happened, you’d be like, ‘Eh, this is weird. What is she trying to hide?’ I don’t like to hide.”
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Did Kris Humphries Tell Myla Sinanaj That Kris Jenner Staged Kim’s Sex Tape? Ewwwws All Around

Kris Jenner Rumored To Have Staged Kim Kardashian Sex Tape

The Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce proceedings just keep getting juicier. According to TMZ, Humphries’ alleged former girlfriend Myla Sinanaj has evidence that Humphries bashed Kim numerous times throughout their conversations and text messages. Apparently, the NJ Nets player told Myla that Kris Jenner staged Kim’s infamous sex tape with Ray J — as in, the one that made Kardashian a household name — and even took a double take to get the perfect shot. If this weren’t bad enough, TMZ also reports that Myla has texts in which Humphries calls her “the love of his life” and tells her he wants to hurry the divorce so they can “spend the rest of their time on earth together.”

As we reported earlier, Kardashian has subpoenaed Sinanaj to get just this kind of damaging info. And if any of these texts turn out to be real, they could have serious repercussions for Humphries in the divorce proceedings, as Humphries’ whole argument rests on the fact that Kim ruined him emotionally by faking what he thought was a real marriage. Not to mention that they seriously add a whole new ew factor to the 72-day union.

Humphries’ questionable relationship with Myla is also kind of ruining any sympathy he could have gained as the heartbroken husband. While Kim has been out flaunting her relationship with Kanye, Humphries has not only left a voicemail for Myla asking her to stop calling herself his girlfriend, but has also claimed that she was prostituting herself to clients at the hotel where she works. Between that and these sex tape allegations, we kind of want to take a shower right now and scrub our eyeballs with bleach.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Katy Perry Gives A Shout Out To Short Marriage Sister Kim Kardashian In The Hollywood Reporter

Katy Perry Gives Kim Kardashian A Shout-Out In Hollywood Reporter

Members of the Short Celebrity Marriage Club have got to stick together! Who else will understand the trials and tribulations that come with relationships that wear out quicker than a pair of flip-flops? We’re assuming that’s why Katy Perry took time off from looking gorgeous and unburdening her soul in the latest issue of The Hollywood Reporter to give a shout-out to Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. “Nobody knows what really happened except the two people who are in it,” the “Wide Awake” singer told the magazine about the couple’s 72-day marriage. The last time Kim and Katy were referenced together was…oh, at the MTV Movie Awards, where Russell Brand brought up short celebrity marriage and laughed about it in front of the entire world. Um, well…at least you two will always have this special bond! No one can take that from you! It’s not like you can go back and be married longer!

In case you were hoping Katy would share more details about her soon-to-be-ex-husband, we have good news for you, you creep. “There were times when what was going on in my personal life was so overwhelming that I had to bend over to let those tears fall straight out of my eyes and not my false lashes just as I’m about to go up on that ramp and sing ‘Teenage Dream,'” Katy admits now. You can also go ahead and listen to her next album, which will likely discuss Russell at length. “Like how I write my songs, honesty has always worked for me,” Perry explains. “So if it ain’t broke, why f—ing fix it?” Why fix it? Yikes…that’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?

[Photo: The Hollywood Reporter]

by (@hallekiefer)

Kim Kardashian Serves Kris Humphries’ Ex Myla Sinanaj With A Subpoena; Our Hearts Thrill

Kim Kardashian Serves Kris Humphries Ex Myla Sinanaj With A Supeona

We’ll readily admit that we are complete ghouls and goblins for looking forward to the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce proceedings. We can just tell they’re going to be insane! How are we so certain? According to TMZ, Kim Kardashian just subpoenaed Kris Humphries’ alleged ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj to find out what, if any, dirty secrets Myla might have learned while dating Kim’s soon-to-be-former husband; Sinanaj’s lawyer Joe Tacopina said his client would comply with the request. On a related note, if you hear maniacal cackling and the smell of brimstone over the next few months, you can pretty much guarantee that’s us!

While we initially didn’t understand why Humphries would try to keep his lady friend Myla under wraps (Kim gave Kanye a $380,000 birthday Lamborghini and doesn’t seem to care who knows it), TMZ postulates that Myla might have some information regarding Humphries’ claim that Kardashian defrauded him. Or as they put it, “did he blow his cover during pillow talk?” In that case, Kris’ paranoia makes some sense. Man, money makes everything complicated, doesn’t it? We are so luckily to be single and broke as a joke. Hey…we’ve never typed that sentence before. There’s an upside to everything after all!

[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

New Kris Humphries Drama Confirms His Jerk Portrayal On Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Kris Humphries Myla Simanaj Drama Continues

Honestly, we felt a little bad for Kris Humphries after that whole married-to-Kim Kardashian-for-72-days thing. Public break-ups are always embarrassing, and it’s easy to make someone look bad on reality TV. Which is why we cut him some slack when he came off looking like such a goon on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The more we learn about Humphries’ feud with ex-maybe-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj, however, the more we’re convinced that he is, in fact, just a complete asshat. Case in point: according to Sinanaj’s lawyer Joe Tacopina, Kris and his lawyers claimed that Myla was basically prostituting herself to clients at the hotel where she’s employed in an attempt to get Myla to keep quiet about their alleged relationship. 72 days of marriage with this guy? We can barely take 72 minutes of such awfulness.

Meanwhile, TMZ reports that the hotel did their own investigation of the scandalous allegations against Sinanaj and determined that they were false. First of all…ew. Second of all, why would Kris even bother with this public drama? To avoid having to admit he’s been dating someone during his divorce proceedings? That certainly hasn’t stopped Kim and Kanye from shmoodling all over the continental United States. We really didn’t understand why any of this unnecessary fighting was going on in the first place…until we considered that Kris might actually just be a bona fide jerk. Allegedly! That might be the the only reasonable explanation. And even then? It’s completely unreasonable!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

500 Years Later, David Arquette Finally Files For Divorce

David Arquette Files For Divorce From Courteney Cox

You might find this news unfathomable, but it’s true: David Arquette and Courteney Cox are still legally married, despite having separated all the way back in October 2010. That’s like being separated for a millennium in HMT (Hollywood Marriage Time)! Factoring in Arquette’s erratic appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last month, intermittent rumors about Cox getting it on with her Cougar Town costar Josh Hopkins and mutual overshares with Howard Stern last year, it’s a wonder it took until now for David Arquette to officially file divorce papers. Do you think he literally forgot he was married? We would honestly not put it past the man…

According to TMZ, Arquette cited “irreconcilable differences” on the filing he submitted last Friday; he is asking for joint legal and physical custody of the couple’s daughter Coco, and did not request spousal or child support. Overall, looks like a quiet end to a crazy…wait, what’s that? Arquette is representing himself in the divorce? He’s not getting a lawyer? Plus the papers he filed are dated March 23, implying that he just sat on them for three months? Oh boy. Well, we look forward to finding out the outcome of their divorce. Or rather, we look forward to our great-great-grandchildren finding out the outcome of their divorce, seeing as how we’ll be dead and gone for any number of decades at that point.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Debra Messing Finally Files For Divorce From Husband Daniel Zelman

Debra Messing Files For Divorce From Daniel Zelman

Over six months after announcing her separation, TMZ reports that Debra Messing has finally filed for divorce from husband of almost 12 years Daniel Zelman. The Smash actress cited “irreconcilable differences” in the documents her lawyer Neal Hersh submitted to L.A. County Superior Court, in addition to asking for joint custody and spousal and child support. “I think the institution of marriage is a noble thing. I think the idea of a partner for life is incredibly romantic. But now we’re living to 100. A hundred years ago, people were dying at age 37. Til death do us part was a much different deal,” Messing told Ladies Home Journal last month. Hmmm, if your spouse is telling Ladies Home Journal your marriage only would have worked if she’d died at 37…yeah, probably time to throw in the towel.

While the couple was reportedly living together after their split for the sake of their son, other reports claimed Debra was allegedly on the rebound in real life with her on-screen lover Will Chase, a turn of events we imagine would make her unconventional living situation…more than a little awkward. “It’s a very long time,” Debra added in her LHJ interview. “And I am at peace with the journey we’ve had. I feel like the 20 years we had together has been a huge success. And despite the fact that everything is changing, I think everyone is thriving.” Good luck on your next 20 year marriage, Debra! At this rate you can fit it…what, approximately three more?

[Photo: Getty Images]


Usher Cries In Custody Battle After Ex-Wife Tameka Foster Accuses Him Of Choosing Partying Over His Kids

Usher Cries In Court Over Being Accused of Being a Bad Dad

Things are getting nasty between R&B singer Usher Raymond and ex-wife Tameka Foster in their ongoing custody battle. Nearly three years after their split the couple can’t seem to put their differences aside. Yesterday Usher testified about his ex’s ugly temper, accusing her of threatening him and his new girlfriend. Are these seriously grown people behaving in this manner? Well, apparently, yes. TMZ reports that Usher broke down when it was time for Foster’s attorney to present the case that he was a bad dad. Foster’s attorney argued that Usher rather party than be a father to their two sons, Naviyd Ely and Usher V.

In the video Usher is visibly emotional as he wipes his tears with Kleenex. Not only he is emotional, he’s irritated by the question that he claims he already answered. As if the accusations of him being a party animal in opposed to a father wasn’t enough, Foster’s attorney pulled out photos of him partying in Europe to prove her point. This back and forth public battle is not a good look for either of them. We love Usher as an artist, but we want these two to get over themselves and do what’s best for their children. Its been three years. Move on with your lives, people!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Usher’s Custody Battle With Ex-Wife Tameka Foster: Now With More Spitting And Food Throwing!

Usher Says Ex-Wife Tameka Foster Threatened Girlfriend

Roughly six months after kicking off their epic custody battle (and almost three years after splitting up), Usher took the stand today to testify about his relationship with ex-wife Tameka Foster. You might be stunned to hear this, but apparently it’s ridiculous not good. “‘I’m gonna kick your a–. B— get out of the car. How dare you bring this woman into my subdivision in my house?'” Foster allegedly raged when the singer arrived at her property with his current girlfriend. According to Usher, Tameka “continued to spit. At this point she pulled the door open, tried to swing at her.” When the pair attempted to flee, “she threw a plate of food at the car.” Now, usually when we type ‘smh’ we aren’t actually shaking our heads, but you know what? There’s a first time for everything!

Of course, it could be worse. Or was, depending on who’s remembering the details correctly. Early this month, Tameka denied threatening Usher and his girlfriend by saying “I will kill you both,” though she did acknowledge,”I did probably, out of anger, say ‘I will f— you up’ and it’s not acceptable.” We didn’t think we could be more grossed out by this whole case, until we remembered that their sons Naviyd Ely and Usher V are probably witnessing this hottest of messes with their own baby eyes. What are you teaching your kids, people? Food is for eating, not for hurling in a jealous fury!

[Photo: Getty Images]