Big sis is already some sort of a fashion mogul, so it’s natural that the younger sibling would jump on board. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are co-designing a fashion line of tween clothing which will be part of the Jessica Simpson Collection. Run, young ‘uns, RUN AWAY! We kid. Kinda. Between Jessica’s really whack wardrobe and Ashlee’s hipper-than-thou style we’re imagining a group of 9-14 year olds walking around with bleach blond hair, raccoon eyes and clothes that jut out at really weird angles and are two sizes too small. But, we’re sure (read: hoping) that’s not going to happen. Right? Someone reassure us quickly, please?
Jess is pretty confident that that they’re going to create some groundbreaking tween couture, though. She said, “Creating a tween apparel collection was a natural extension for the brand. I’m excited to bring my sister, Ashlee, along as co-creative director of this division, because she brings a savvy rocker edge that defines today’s tweens.” The collection will launch this fall and Ashlee’s on a mission to rock the pre-teen world as well saying, “My goal as co-creative director will be to design clothes that will help inspire young girls to express their personalities and creativity through fashion.” Moms, you have been warned.
In case she’s wondering why she woke to find a $5,000,000 fine on her library card, Amber Rose rocked the sexy librarian look so hard at the Maxim Hot 100 party last night, real librarians were sobbing into the sleeves of their oversized wool sweaters. They didn’t even have the energy to let their hair down in erotic slow-motion while checking out books! Also bringing the hotness last night were Maxim’s Hot 100 cover girl Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Olivia Munn, Kelly Rowland and Keri Hilson, as well as about 95 other hottie boombalotties. Rose had really better be careful, or movies will suddenly be $2 to rent for the week as opposed to $1. Is being hot worth all that?
We don’t know if the Russian population at large thinks American culture so closely resembles the set of a florescent-colored Some Like It Hot, but if these photos of Nicole Richie in Harper’s Bazaar Russia are any indication, we wish it did too. Sporting neon threads and planted next to a pink Cadillac, Richie rocks Marilyn Monroe curls with a few kitschy dialogue bubbles drawn in for good measure. The photographer might have Nicole saying “Wow!,” but we’re assuming she has more complex matters on her mind, like “How am I going to get onto the plane and out of the country before they realize I’ve stolen all these clothes?”
We just do not get fashion. We know we’re supposed to run out and buy a plaid jumper or gold lamé cocktail dress after seeing Elle Fanning in Rodarte’s short film The Curve of Forgotten Things, but we just want to make sure the call isn’t coming from inside the house. According to the film’s description, designers Kate and Laura Mulleavy “drew inspiration from 1970s northern California, referencing Redwood forests, the gold rush and Asian influences” for their Spring 2011 collection. And, while they didn’t explicitly say it, they also give a shout-out every serial killer movie made before 1980.
In the video, which premiered on LVMH’s Nowness.com, Fanning paws through the dirt and wanders through a spooky abandoned house as her outfit flips from one Rodarte frock to another. Luckily Elle isn’t the one who’s in danger. Spoiler alert: she a ghost! Fanning might finally walk into the light at the end, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll be walking into a boutique in search of poltergeist wear anytime soon.
Before the stars were stars, they were normal people trying to make a living. Every penny they made was spent on rent and food, not stylists and clothing. That’s why it’s so awesome to see celebrity before-and-after shots: getting a glimpse of what J.Lo looked like with crazy eyebrows or when Alec Baldwin was just a sliver of his current self. We wanted to honor some of our finest actors and performers by going back in time—back to when no one could bother to get their clothes tailored, they were too cheap to use anything but boxed hair color, and the word “stylist” didn’t even exist in Hollywood. Some of these people are a victim of the era from whence they came, but others have no excuse. The important thing to remember: these people had a choice about how to dress, and these are the outfits they chose. The awkward, tragic outfits they chose.
After she confirmed yesterday that she does in fact have a bun in the oven, we immediately started fantasizing about the plunging necklines and clinging fabrics of Mariah Carey’s inevitably fabulous maternity wear. Husband Nick Cannon, however, dreams only of getting Mariah out of heels and into flats. At first, we didn’t approve of the idea. Would you paint a rainbow a sensible beige? Would you have a peacock put on a conservative blazer? Then why make Mariah Carey walk on the ground with the rest of us mortals when she should be 4-to-6 inches higher than everyone else? But then we realized…if Nick doesn’t intervene early, Mariah will be nine months pregnant and still teetering precariously on 5-inch Jimmy Choos. So we’re willing to consider it.
Explained Cannon on his radio show with Mariah as a call-in guest, “I go into the closet searching for some flats for my wife … She got a lot of damn shoes — it’s like a frickin’ Macy’s. [And] Mariah Carey does not own one pair of flat shoes.” Mariah sensibly pointed out, “To be fair, I had some boots from Aspen, some Dior boots.” But Nick wasn’t going to let Carey get away with seeming like less of a diva than she really is: “Ski boots!”, he exclaimed. This story is confirming every fabulous, insane thing we always suspected about Mariah…and we could not be happier.
Admitted Carey, “And then we did find some flats and then they were a regular ballet slipper, like a beige, and I was like, ‘I don’t think so.’” Why not just put a garbage bag on your foot at that point, we’d argue. Nick was pretty pleased with himself for helping with the wardrobe transformation: “Basically, I got Mariah Carey, the high-heel queen, to put on some flats. And this is amazing. I’m going shoe shopping today, needless to say, to buy you some flat shoes.” We wouldn’t get too cocky, Nick. God only help you if Mariah finds out they make heels for babies now. [Photo: Splash News Online]
rnrnTeacup-sized designers Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have big plans for their designer clothing line the Row. So big, in fact, that they’re going to start with the White House. According to the twins, their high-end label would be perfect for Michelle Obama. Gushes Ashley, “I’d love to get Michelle Obama in the Row. The simple suits and things.” rnrnAs most people with the power of sight know, the Olsens are well-known for dressing like Janis Joplin and Cousin It on a bender (Historical note: this may have actually happened). We doubt Mary-Kate and Ashley have the same definition for the word “simple” — and, while we’re at it, the word “suit” — as the rest of America. However, the past few years have seen the twins make a glacially slow move away from Oscar the Grouch chic and toward a sleeker, albeit still bizarrely oversized, wardrobe. Perhaps Mary-Kate abd Ashley have been wearing such enormous frocks this entire time as a way to make a statement to the 5’10” FLOTUS. A statement like, “We refuse to make clothes that fit anyone beside you, Michelle; we don’t care how many car doors or street cleaners we must get caught before you buy them.”rnrnBut fit isn’t the only reason the First Lady should grab her AmEx and helicopter over to the mall. Says Ashley, “It’s all made in America, so why not?” Good point, Olsen #2! Unfortunately Mrs. Obama caught so much flack for flashing her bare arms after becoming First Lady, we can only imagine what FOX News would have to say if she showed up in a formal denim jumpsuit or a white satin fem-tuxedo. Rush Limbaugh would have a heart attack for days. [Photo: Getty Images]
Now mini-Madonna’s putting some of that eclectic fashion sense to good use. The mother-daughter duo have worked together on a collection of junior clothing which will debut August 3 at Macy’s. With a cheeky nod to Madonna’s tracklist, the line’s called Material Girl. The best part is that you don’t need to be pulling in a rockstar paycheck to afford the clothes, bags, shoes and bling. The collection retails between $12-$40. And Mom says it’s all Lola saying, “I think this line is absolutely an extension of her taste.” Expect fun 80′s redux with Like a Virgin-reminiscent stuff with tutu-dresses and studded combat boots. Macy’s promises that there is also a yet-to-be-revealed celebrity muse who will be attached to the collection. As if Madonna and Lourdes aren’t enough!
[Photo: Getty Images]
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