Celebrity Feuds

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Charlie Sheen And Ashton Kutcher Meet At The Emmys

It had to happen someday. TV’s biggest night brought with it a meeting of equally epic proportions, as Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher met face to face for the first time. Unfortunately the Men-star summit took place backstage at the Nokia Theater and was not part of the Emmy broadcast. What were the producers thinking?! But luckily these few precious twit-pix survive of two, courtesy of Sheen himself. What could have been one of the greatest showdowns in award show history was actually incredibly cordial, even warm. “Giving the new kid a little advice..!” Chaz captioned the picture above to Kutcher. “Seriously… great talking to you! We’ll all be watching! Make us proud!!” Ashton responded in kind by writing, “Good to meet you too. Wishing you the best on your new gig.” Awww. It’s like a passing of the bizarro torch. Ashton will have his own pornstar entourage in no time!

Sheen is showing his mellower side these days. Maybe he’s kicked the drug called “Charlie Sheen” in favor of a drug called lithium. Last week he hit the talk show circuit and expressed remorse for his outbursts last winter. And last night he even addressed the assembled television gliteratti with a heartfelt (if awkward) message. “I want to take a moment to get something off my chest and say a few words to everyone here from Two and a Half Men,” he began. “From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best from this upcoming season. We spent eight wonderful years together, and I know you will continue to make great television.” Charlie says that he’s throwing a viewing party to watch the premiere of a Sheen-less Two And A Half Men tonight. Will you be tuning in too? Let us know!

[Photo: Charlie Sheen’s Twitter]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Madonna Questions Lady Gaga’s “Obsession” With Her

Girrrrrl! If this Madonna Lady Gaga quote is for real, we are now approaching Mean Girls-level cattitude between our two best blonds. “As for Lady Gaga, I have no comment to make about her obsessions having to do with me because I don’t know whether her behavior is rooted in something deep and meaningful, or superficial,” Madonna allegedly told French paper Le Soir. Well, looks like furiously denying ripping off Madonna and swapping your gender wasn’t enough to distinguish yourself, Gaga. Plan C: letting your upper arms get ever so slightly less chiseled than hers.

Before you chalk up Madge’s burn to a mistranslation and burn some sage to get rid of the negative energy in hee, Madonna’s rep Liz Rosenberg has apparently considering the quote important enough to merit a response, telling E! Online “I do know that [Madonna] has said many supportive things about Gaga over the years.” Well, maybe Lady Gaga can send Madonna hydrangeas as a peace offering. Wait, no…no! Someone call 1-800-Flowers back before the damage can’t be undone!

by (@JordanRuntagh)

January Jones’ TV Son Thinks She’s Kind Of Mean

There’s something about January Jones that just seems to rub people the wrong way. We’ve told you about  Zach Galifianakis chewing her out for being rude, and now her eleven-year-old costar is doing the same! Little Jared Gilmore, better known to the world as January’s TV son Bobby Draper on Mad Men, is leaving the show after one season . But before he goes, he offered some cautionary words to whoever his replacement might be. “Be careful around January,” he told TV Guide. “She’s not as approachable as the others. She’s really serious about what she does. Everyone else is so nice.” Considering the fact that she plays a raging icy spiteful biotch-sicle on the show, perhaps she’s just really into her role? But the fact that Mad Men has gone through three actors for Bobby might be a hint. We hope Jared has happier days on the set of his next acting job, ABC’s new series Once Upon A Time. And we hope that January chills out!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@hallekiefer)

It’s Okay. Sean Penn Didn’t Get Tree Of Life Either

Now you can stop pretending you understood it when people bring it up at parties: Sean Penn’s Tree Of Life role was as confusing to him as it was to…any other person watching the movie. “I didn’t at all find on the screen the emotion of the script, which is the most magnificent one that I’ve ever read,” Penn told the French paper Le Figaro Sunday. “A clearer and more conventional narrative would have helped the film without, in my opinion, lessening its beauty and its impact.” Sean might disagree with this on this one, but a few more random shots of dinosaurs couldn’t have hurt either, in our opinion.

Co-starring Brad Pitt, Tree of Life was met with very mixed reviews. “Frankly, I’m still trying to figure out what I’m doing there and what I was supposed to add in that context!” Penn explained, before throwing the film’s director Terrence Malick under the bus: “What’s more, Terry himself never managed to explain it to me clearly.” Terry! Something tells us Malick’s next movie is going to have a much more clear role for Penn, as a compelling, artfully-directed lunch for all those extra dinosaurs.

by (@missmuttoo)

Kelly Osbourne Cusses Out Christina Aguilera

Can someone say “Meow?” Kelly Osbourne and Christina Aguilera haven’t exactly been fond of each other over the years, but the claws really came out recently on E!’s Fashion Police, courtesy of Ms. O. It all started when Joan Rivers commented on how Christina looked “stuffed” in her dress at a party in Munich, Germany, calling her “Snooki‘s Scandinavian cousin.” This would have been more than enough of snark for the day, but — oh hell no! — it wasn’t.

Said Kelly, of Christina, “Maybe she is just becoming the fat b—ch she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c—t to me. And she bought my house.”  Did it stop there? Does it ever? Kelly continued with, “She called me fat for so many f—ing years, so you know what? F—k you! You’re fat too.” Ouch.

Kelly took a lot of flack for her weight over the years and it’s obviously been weighing on her (guys, seriously — pun unintended). She revealed, “I took more hell for being fat than I did for being an absolute raging drug addict. I will never understand that.” We like Kelly. We really do. And she’s f–ing hilarious (to speak like her), but in moments like these (ie: on national television) a little more grace is probably due.

by (@katespencer)

Bette Midler Creates Beef With Gaga Over Mermaid Act

Every time we read about another celebrity feud we’re always like, “Really? You’re fighting about that?” The latest drama between Bette Midler and Lady Gaga is no exception. Bette is pissed off Gaga does a mermaid character in concert named Yuyi who rolls onstage in a wheelchair and — shocker! — Midler also does a mermaid in a wheelchair routine. Would now be a good time to pitch this awesome, original movie idea we have about a mermaid in a wheelchair?

Bette tweeted (ugh, of course): “I’m not sure @ladygaga knows that I’ve performed my mermaid in a wheelchair for millions of people — and many of them are still alive…..if you think a mermaid in a wheelchair seems familiar-it’s because it is!You can see it on youtube 24/7-with ME performing it. Ive been doing singing mermaid in a wheelchair since 1980-You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker tits-mermaid’s mine”

She then seemed to end the feud — without ever getting a response from Mother Monster — with this tweet: “@ladygaga, let’s drink this over at the Emmys in September. Fabulous mermaids can coexist!”

Yes, they can. In case you want to experience the magic that is Bette in a mermaid outfit, in a wheelchair, singing “New York, New York,” the video below is for you. Enjoy.


by (@katespencer)

Zooey Deschanel Wins At Fashion, Responds To LA Times Columnist Who Called Her A “Cow”

Zooey Deschanel was all sorts of awesome on the red carpet this weekend, and we’ve stopped drooling long enough to gush about it. She hit up the BAFTAs Brits to Watch event on  Saturday night with husband and Death Cab for Cutie front man Ben Gibbard, looking all sorts of hipster glam in a gold Oscar de la Renta dress accentuated by sparkly heels and clutch. Sunday found Zooey posing at the Winnie the Pooh premiere in a bold flower print with a pair of neutral peep toes. She sported luscious Disney princess curls at both events — the stuff our hair-do dreams are made of.

We’re also loving the actress’ response to the LA Times columnist who called her a “cow” (uh, seriously?) and claimed she “worried aloud that the neighborhood around the fabulously restored Belasco Theatre might look shabby to the regal couple.” Zooey spoke out on HelloGiggles, the entertainment site she co-founded, writing to Patt Morrison:

“Let me be clear: the quote from USA TODAY that you used as the foundation of your piece was taken completely out of context. I NEVER said that Downtown LA was “the worst of LA”…In your piece, the character you’ve created of “me” is actually pretty funny. I don’t know who this person is, but it seems as if you’ve borrowed her from the Susan Lucci repertoire. You make so many far-fetched conclusions; for one thing, you state, “go back to your house on the Westside.” Well, I can’t do that because I do not live on the Westside. You also open your piece by calling me a “cow”, which might be your opinion, but I wish a journalist for the Los Angeles Times and KPCC had found a more sophisticated way of sharing a difference in perceived opinion.”

To quote FABlife writer Halle Kiefer via IM, “The day Zooey Deschanel qualifies as a cow is the day I literally put a bell around my neck and live in a field.” Word. Deschanel for the win-win!

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[Photos: GettyImages]

by (@hallekiefer)

Tyrese Defends Megan Fox, Recalls His Own Run-Ins With Michael Bay

From director Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg firing her to news of a Shia LaBeouf Megan Fox hook-up, it it seems like Megan Fox was going get trashed in the press until they ran out of Transformers sequels to promote (in the year 2562).  Luckily, it seems only 98% of her coworkers have something personally embarrassing to say about her, because former co-star Tyrese defends Megan Fox as a nice person. “Megan is a sweet girl. I’ve never had an issue with her. It’s always been good,” Tyrese told Popeater’s Rob Shuter. “I know people are talking a lot of mess about her, but I just hope she has a strong stomach.” Well, Fox had to be sort of used to getting insulted in the news; she was, after all, in more than one Michael Bay movie.

Maybe Tyrese is particularly understanding because he was on the receiving end of the same tyrannical directing habits that Megan Fox’s Hitler comments were trying to (offensively) describe. “He’s very aggressive with himself. Very demanding of himself. He has very high expectations of not just the cast, but the crew,” Tyrese says of director Bay. “He’s cursed me out a few times. I cursed him out back. I don’t really curse people out in person. I tend to do it through email. He curses me out in person.” The truth comes out! Hmm, maybe it’s better that all these scandalous secrets leak out. This way we won’t be totally shocked when Shia LeBeouf admits to a hot and heavy fling with almost all of the Decepticons.

by (@hallekiefer)

Thomas Jane Claims He Was Fired From Stallone Movie For Being White

Hung‘s Thomas Jane thinks he knows why he got fired from the Sylvester Stallone film Headshot, and no, it’s not because no one has any idea who Thomas Jane is. Apparently the Thomas Jane Sylvester Stallone beef started when producer Joel Silver joined the filmmaking team. “Well, Joel Silver came onboard the project and said that he has a quote-unquote ‘formula’ for these quote-unquote ‘buddy movies’ and it has to be a white guy and a quote-unquote ‘ethnic guy,’” Jane explained. “And they relieved me of duty and basically paid me off, which I was really upset about, you know?” Call us crazy, but that formula can’t be that precise. What about Lethal Weap…no, okay, how about Training D…oh no, wait. Well, there’s always True Lies. And if Stallone went True Lies with this film, we might actually see it. We demand more underwear dance scenes!

Perhaps remembering for a moment the dozens upon dozens of action films that don’t follow such a rigid racial partnerships, like Rush Hour, Live Free or Die Hard and most importantly, Big Mama’s: Like Father, Like Son, Jane randomly throws out another theory about why The Expendables star might not have been too sad to see his partner go. “I didn’t get a call from Stallone. I was a little upset about that,” Jane said, rationalizing, “Maybe they didn’t want anybody on the movie with a bigger d— than him.” So, it’ll basically have to be Kindergarten Cop 2 then, right?

by (@hallekiefer)

Michael Bay, Shia LaBeouf Continue To Trash Talk Megan Fox

We guess if we ripped on our boss in public, we couldn’t really expect him not to bad-mouth us right back. We just might not expect our entire office to pile on. As Transformers star Shia LaBeouf tells GQ about Megan Fox’s Hitler comments, “Criticism is one thing. Then there’s public name-calling, which turns into high school bashing. Which you can’t do. She started s—-talking our captain.” Of course, Cap’n Michael Bay fired Megan Fox after she used the particularly insulting dictator analogy, which you think would be enough pay back. Apparently not. “I wasn’t hurt, because I know that’s just Megan. Megan loves to get a response,” Bay says. “And she does it in kind of the wrong way. I’m sorry, Megan. I’m sorry I made you work twelve hours. I’m sorry that I’m making you show up on time. Movies are not always warm and fuzzy.” Ah yes, but what does the entire lighting crew think about Megan’s crappy attitude? Craft services? The wig master? WHAT OF THE WIG MASTER?

Even screenwriter Ehren Kruger got in on the action, alleging “She was there for rehearsals. But she seemed like an actress who didn’t want to be a part of it. She was saying she wanted to, but she wasn’t acting like it.” While Bay readily admits he loves Fox’s replacement Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and has deleted Megan’s number from his phone, he concedes, “When you’re days and months on a set, it’s like a family. You say rude things and you make up.” Just as soon as the guy who hoses down the robots gets to take his jab at you.

[Photo: Getty Images]