Looks like James Franco is awake after all. The actor promptly responded to Oscar joke honcho Bruce Vilanch’s criticism of Franco’s hosting abilities by scrawling some word balloons onto a photo of the two smiling backstage. “James Franco f—ed up the Oscars. Trust me I know comedy,” ‘says’ Vilanch. “I mean, come on, I write for Bette Midler!” Franco tweeted, then deleted the photo. Then republished it and deleted it again. We do the same thing, James—though when you’re famous such timidity its a hopeless gesture. Once you’ve posted sometime, it’s immediately too late to take it back.
While it’s good to remember that Vilanch’s comedy isn’t always the freshest, since Franco’s big idea was to sing a song from Burlesque, it’s not obvious why he dissing someone for working with a brassy cabaret singer. Hopefully sometime in the future everyone involved can decide whether Franco was funny, whether he thought he was funny, whether he was trying to be funny, and what any of this has to do with Anne Hathaway‘s song about Hugh Jackman. Seriously, what was that about?
Update: James Franco posted an e-mail from Vilanch on his photo feed (“I was trying to DEFEND you”), scrawling “Thanks Bruce, sorry for reading all the stupid blogs” over it in response. Guess they’re all set to team up for the 2012 Oscars, then, right? Right?
[Photo: Getty Images/James Franco]
Wonder what Ryan Murphy will have to say about this. Foo Fighter Dave Grohl went off on Glee at SXSW this week, telling The Hollwood Reporter he’s frustrated with the idea that rock bands should be grateful for autotuned cast renditions of their hits. “It’s every band’s right, you shouldn’t have to do f—ing Glee,” said Grohl, And then the guy who created Glee is so offended that we’re not, like, begging to be on his f—ing show… f— that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee. I watched 10 minutes. It’s not my thing.” Fair enough, but you just guaranteed it will be your 4-year-old daughter’s thing, Dave.
Though he left out Nathan Followill’s ill-advised baiting of show creator Murphy (“buy a new bra”), Grohl otherwise did a solid job of explaining the drama to drummer Taylor Hawkins. “[Murphy] wanted to do Guns ‘n’ Roses and Slash is like, ‘I hate f—ing musicals. It’s worse than Grease.’ Then [Murphy's] like, ‘Well, of course he’d say that, he’s a washed up ol’ rock star, that’s what they f—ing do.’ And then Kings of Leon say, ‘No, we don’t want to be on your show.’ And then he’s like, ‘Snotty little a–holes…’ And it’s just like, Dude, maybe not everyone loves Glee. Me included.” Said the philosophical Hawkins, “Yeah, f— that s—.” Looks like Gwyneth Paltrow may have another beef to settle!
[Photos: Getty Images]
If you remember Hailey Glassman, pat yourself on the back…or slap yourself in the face. Workin’ man Jon Gosselin may be smoking on a roof in a hardhat these days, but his ex-girlfriend is still talking about him more than a year after their split—and long after everyone else stopped caring. Radar just tagged along with Glassman for a trip back to the Alexandria in Manhattan, where Hailey was accused of robbing Gosselin’s apartment in December ’09 (don’t tell us you forgot!). Police wound up looking the other way—the butcher knife pinning a note to the kitchen table was hoax-tastic—but Glassman obviously still feels the issue is unsettled.
The staff, rocking pained, professional grins in Radar‘s video, nod politely as Hailey reminds them who she is and how the drama was all “lies,” with the concierge offering “[Jon]‘s an a—hole…he scares me. I really ask myself, how could you do what you did, being such a nice person?” (Fame is a drug, baby!) Hopefully this experience will be therapeutic for Hailey, allowing her to stop drudging up The Age Of JoGo with Radar every couple months. Sure, mid-2009 was glamorous time full of horse carriage rides, stoned vacations in St. Barts, and tiny penises, but Jon’s moment in the sun—and by extension, that of his ladies—has passed. Let JoGo go. Go corrupt a Duggar or something.
The new Life & Style may have Charlie Sheen admitting he’s in trouble (“I’m really starting to lose my mind, I’m ready to call anyone to help”), but he hardly sounded apologetic on last night’s missive from Charlie Sheen’s Korner. Instead of sharing another of Charlie’s manic phone calls with twitter collaborator Rob Maron, this episode was clearly pre-written, with Sheen giving a poetic, Beat-styled beatdown of his former employers (“oh, how they once begged to attend my perfect banquet in the nude, now they just beg for the keys to my gold”), with Men producer Chuck Lorre getting the worst of it (“think of me often, loser, during your most quiet moments…think of me as you pray to your silly god, AA…can you smell your soul? Can you smell the rotting dogs—?”).
Delivered directly to the camera, Sheen’s language is both incoherent (“undigested hummus trading real estate for this fire dance”) and stunning (“here is my unwanted guest list, their names slightly altered to keep their stench from polluting my magic daiquiri”). If you’re not completely sick of the guy, it’s easily the most fascinating and watchable of his online rants. Watch the episode and read more choice quotes after the jump.
This worked out so well for Dan Quayle. Potential presidential nominee Mike Huckabee, apparently forgetting our former VP’s Murphy Brown drama almost twenty years ago, is criticizing Natalie Portman for having a baby with boyfriend Benjamin Millepied without getting married first. “One of the things that’s troubling is that people see a Natalie Portman who boasts, ‘we’re not married but we’re having these children and they’re doing just fine,” Huckabee said on Michael Medved‘s radio show. “But there aren’t really a lot of single moms out there who are making millions of dollars every year for being in a movie. And I think it gives a distorted image that yes, not everybody hires nannies, and caretakers, and nurses.” Medved also claimed that the “most wonderful gift” Portman thanked Millepied for should have been a wedding ring, not a baby, apparently forgetting that Portman and Millepied are engaged.
“I think it gives a distorted image,” continued Huckabee. “It’s unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of- wedlock children. Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can’t get a job, and if it weren’t for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. And that’s the story that we’re not seeing, and it’s unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out-of-wedlock children.” Since Huckabee claims 41% of children in America are born out of wedlock, maybe the dude should realize no one is glamorizing single motherhood here—they’re merely not giving adult women crap for living their lives as they see fit. Will he criticize high-profile conservatives with multiple marriages for glamorizing divorce? And isn’t it just a little ironic he’s decrying the lack of education for single mothers while trying to shut down Planned Parenthood at the same time? Then again, maybe it’s just typical.
[Photos: Getty Images]
Brooke Mueller‘s doing a good job reminding us that “wacky” Charlie Sheen is actually “scary” Charlie Sheen. TMZ got their hands on Mueller’s temporary restraining order against Sheen, and, well…looks like his Chuck Lorre/”Chaim Levine” bit wasn’t the first time he’s dropped some antisemitism. Mueller showed the court—and TMZ—a text message from last month where Sheen said he must “execute Mark B like the stoopid Jew he is”—Mark B presumably being manager Mark Burg.
Sheen has already denied the claim, saying Mueller has a history of tweeting from his phone (“I have to believe the text about Mark Burg is a repeat performance”). Somewhat contradicting him is that the text is dated February 19th, back when Mueller was allegedly living with Sheen again—does she really have that kind of foresight? Burg is backing Charlie up (“I’ve known him for 13 years. I don’t believe that he actually sent that text”), though it’s questionable whether the guy managing a manic moneybags like Sheen would want to do otherwise.
Mueller is also accusing Sheen of:
- Spitting on her feet and punching her arm.
- Telling fellow passengers on a plane to the Bahamas that he was going to have ex-wife Denise Richards‘ hair shaved off.
- Yelling “I’m untouchable! I’m Charlie Sheen! I’m more famous than Obama!”
Hey, we’re all for ripping on the 2011 Oscars, but leave the kids alone. While most of the criticisms of last Sunday’s show revolved around James Franco & Anne Hathaway being upstaged by Billy Crystal & the ghost of Bob Hope, Bravo’s inescapable VP and reunion show host Andy Cohen told the folks on Morning Joe that it was P.S. 22′s rendition of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” that ‘ruined everything.’
There was a thing called ‘Up With People’ in the ’70s or ’80s. Here’s what: Oscar night is not about Up With People. Like, I don’t need to see that. It was just bad. It was just awful. It was horrible…A public school chorus singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” I literally — if I wasn’t going to go out to some parties I would have slit ’em right then. It was the worst. I was looking for a knife to stick in my eyes, it was so terrible. Everything has its time and place. The end of the Oscars is—we don’t want to see this. You just ruined everything.
While having the winners march out mid-song was a bit much, we’d argue that the presence of sweet little schoolchildren would be welcome if the show didn’t shoehorn them into a weird “old movies meets new media” theme that the hosts and writers were too incompetent or too indifferent to get over. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin would have had no problem setting up the stage for these sweethearts last year. And wasn’t it worth it just to see when Anne Hathaway told P.S. 22 they were going to Hollywood? Though Cohen swore that he loved, loved public schoolchildren before his rant, anyone who thought P.S. 22 was the worst part of the show probably hates kids just a little.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Catherine Zeta-Jones‘ trip to London to accept a CBE from Prince Charles Thursday had an unpleasant interruption last night after returning to her hotel from dinner with Michael Douglas. Paparazzi were waiting for the couple, with at least one blocking Jones’ way in. A scuffle followed, with a photographer dashing out as the Oscar-winning actress screamed she had been punched and demanding police attention. Confusion followed, with Douglas stomping back out, grabbing the suspect and screaming “a–hole!” at him. When asked about the melee, Jones’ rep told Entertainment Tonight. “You saw it for yourself. Otherwise, the trip and the ceremony were fabulous and such a joy for everyone.”
See video of the scene after the jump.
Ricky Gervais posted a script for James Franco & Anne Hathaway‘s Oscar opening on his blog, and it’s a naughty one! You just know Franco is arguing with a group of Oscar producers that they should read every single word on air, possibly he wears a Gervais mask. Here’s a sampling that should explain why our hypothetical Franco (who is hypothetically dressed like Carmen Miranda) won’t get his way.
- Anne: “I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.”
- James: “It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.”
- James: “For the same reason [Gervais] doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers – there’s something wrong with him.”
- Anne: “And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?”
- James: “[Toy Story 3] was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, ‘Who are you?’ ‘You’re not my daddy.’ ‘Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…’”
Do you think Ricky’s funny or is this guy just trying to milk his Golden Globes moment for all its worth?
[Photos: Getty Images/ ABC]
If anyone can heal the world with a quick text message, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow. Seems that Glee‘s most famous guest star has brokered peace between the show and it’s most hated enemy, the Kings Of Leon, and she did it all with a few taps on her iPhone. The Hollywood Reporter claims that Paltrow got Ryan Murphy and the members of Kings Of Leon to apologize for all their various jabs at one another via text message, and the official word from all parties is that “it’s all good now.” That sounds like something you’d expect to hear if The People’s Court was presided over by Matthew McConaughey, isn’t it? “Are you guys both still mad? No? S’all good now.”
To refresh your memory, Murphy was vocal about his anger toward the group for not allowing their songs to be used on Glee, and in response, drummer Nathan Followill Tweeted that Murphy should get therapy and buy a new bra, which came off as homophobic, to say the least. But now, finally we can rest easy knowing that Paltrow The Negotiator has healed this gaping pop culture wound. We’re going to assume she was also behind Glee‘s reconciliation with Lindsay Lohan, and that she’s currently hard at work convincing Jay-Z and Beyonce to stay together too. (Man, we don’t even want to joke about those two breaking up. It just can’t happen.) This is all proof once again that there is nothing Gwyneth can’t do.
[Photos: Getty Images]