Celebrity Gossip

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Watchmen Star Curses Out The Haters: “Suck My D—!”

The creators of the upcoming Watchmen film have gone to great lengths to stay faithful to the legendary comic, with a couple big exceptions. One involves a giant squid, and another involves turning all-American Olympian Ozymandias into a new-wave priss with a German accent. British actor Matthew Goode, who plays the hero, has a message for those who don’t approve of his skinny, nipple-suited ass, via The Sun.

The negative feedback is relayed by my friends. I think the fanboys aren’t particularly happy – there are a load of people they’d have rather had in before me. It’s already being slated before they’ve seeing anything. But if fanboys still hate the film after going and seeing it, they can all line up and suck my d—. I don’t give a f—. I’m having a child and that’s more important to me – so I don’t give a f—. Grow a d—.

He’s also shooting a romantic comedy in Ireland with Amy Adams, so it’s not like pissing off the nerd contingent will ruin his career. If anything Watchmen‘s failure might save him from a lifetime of sci-fi conventions appearances.

[Photo: WireImage]

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Amy Winehouse Jets Back From Longest Vacation Ever

We thought it was never going to happen – but Amy Winehouse has finally stopped being on vacation. Arriving back from her two-month jaunt to St Lucia, Amy put all that good work at looking  and behaving vaguely normal behind her. Instead, she reportedly got into a fight on the plane when a man gave her “strange looks.” And she dusted off the old beehive wig, shook out those ballet pumps and squeezed on her skinny jeans again to rock out like it’s 2008.

As if our sense of déjà vu wasn’t enough, she’s arrived back just as estranged husband Blake Incarcerated has been released from jail, and gone straight into the arms of model Sophie Schandorff who’s been spotted at his parents’ home. And her mother-in-law Georgette has made it crystal clear that she’s not welcoming her back with open arms — telling a tabloid paper the divorce is still happening and labeling Amy “a trollop.” Nice welcome home, no? God, if we were Amy, we’d have that post-vacation Depression Face on as well. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Don’t Ever Dump Katy Perry

When she’s not busy wearing so-kooky-it-hurts outfits, Katy Perry likes to scare the crap out of men. Well, if making threats to chop them up counts (and we think it does), any sensible guys fantasizing that the single fox could be their next conquest will be looking somewhere else now.

“We will love you so much, make you beans on toast and butter your bread. But if you break our heart, we will take the butter knife and cut you into little pieces and put you in the freezer,” she says.

Mmm, ready-to-microwave-ex-boyfriend! Yummy. Has anyone seen Travis McCoy recently?

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Shakira Confuses Self With Ship

Despite her breasts being so small and humble, Shakira is a total superstar. And like the hugely famous icon she is, she’s also prone to spouting incoherent babble at times.

“I think I’ve crossed to the other side of the river already. I’m on the other shore … I’ve been through so many storms and my ship has encountered so many unexpected things that now I am strong on the shore. Unless something dramatic happened in my life to change me, I don’t think I could forget myself now,” she says in response to the question, “Who is Shakira?”

We are totally confused, but also strangely impressed by her ability to stretch a metaphor to breaking point in just a couple of sentences. Beat that, other celebrity divas! [Source: Sunday Times magazine, Photo: Getty Images]

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Lindsay Lohan Converting To Judaism

Oy vey – Lindsay Lohan looks to be converting to Judaism for reals. The professional skinny was spotted attending Sam Ronson’s half-brother Joshua’s bar mitzvah in London this weekend, also attending synagogue the day before. The Daily Mail reports that when asked by a snapper whether she was switching religions, she replied, “I’m trying,” as well as updating her Facebook status to “I’m converting.”

Mazel Tov, Linds. Although if our estranged dad was Michael Lohan and a practising Pentecostal minister, we might think about putting some further theological distance between us, too. Still, it’s good to know things haven’t changed too much in LiLoLand. During the same trip to London, the committed shopper managed to spend a whole hour in a shop that sells only tights. And then she and Sam went out to party at Bungalow 8 in London, taking miniature bottles of Jack Daniels in their car beforehand. And then they had a little row when they left. Phew. What a relief. We can’t cope with too many changes in one day. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Jodie Foster Caught Speeding By Speeders

Jodie Foster has put up with a lot of crap in her day, from president-shooting stalkers to messy romantic splits, and she’s always kept a strong face in public. So it’s no surprise she wouldn’t sign a release for the truTV show Speeders to show her arguing with cops over a speed ticket.

According to the New York Post, police pulled the two-time Oscar winner’s Prius over for going over 50 in a 35 mph zone last weekend. Foster argued that the radar gun was defective, which—if you’ve ever seen Speeders—you know never works.

Foster refused to sign a waiver to appear on the show, so the camera crew ceased filming and returned to the police car. But she grew quite agitated and angry, and kept insisting to the police officers that the radar gun must have made a mistake. She maintained to the officers that she was only going 30 mph at the time they pulled her over, and she kept interrupting and complaining that the process was taking too long.

Despite her complaints, Foster was still issued a citation. Speeders will have just have to wait for Jodie Sweetin to zoom by.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Gossip Geek: Brittany Snow Is Lil’ Lily

With Brittany Snow acting the winter fashion plate and attending a runway show with 90210‘s Shenae Grimes, we should have guessed she was gunning for Gossip Girl. The Prom Night starlet is set to play the young Lily van der Woodsen in that long-buzzed spin-off. Snow won’t have much need for her winter wardrobe—it’s set in LA—but we’re sure producers appreciated her effort to blend.

But why would an increasing successful movie actress decide to do a TV show? Because starring roles on the CW bring a little more name recognition than straight-to-DVD indies and supporting roles in Hairspray. This role could mean infinitely more magazine covers, and there will still be plenty of time for PG-13 horror movies between seasons. Assuming there’s more than one.

XDXD. Gossip Geek.

[Photos: WireImage]

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Chris Brown To Claim Self-Defense?

Chris Brown is caught between a rock and a hard place: risk killing his career by admitting he’s abused Rihanna, or risk killing his career by trying to justify that abuse. According to Life & Style Magazine, he’s leaning towards the latter:

Chris is already building his case. He’s saying she threw a phone at him, then hit him in the head and basically just lost it. He’s saying she attacked him.

Someone might want to tell Chris that “defense” implies that you were protecting yourself, not that your girlfriend got you so mad that you choked, hit and scratched her. “Unless there’s some indication that she was enraged to the point that she physically threatened him, I think he’d have a tough time with that defense,” said attorney Darren Kavinoky.

Of course, if Rihanna doesn’t press charges, Brown may never have to bust out this pathetic excuse for brutalizing a woman. “We do not have enough evidence and there have been no charges filed on the Chris Brown case,” said a spokeperson for the LA District Attorney when explaining the delay in trying Brown. “If the state gathers up enough evidence, we will press charges with or without her testifying. It is not up to the victim. She will not have to show up during the arraignment.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Morgan Freeman Crash Passenger Sues His Pants Off, Swears She Wasn’t In Them

Lawsuits against celebrities can’t be brought immediately after a crime. They must simmer and age until everyone has almost forgotten about the incident in question. Remember when Morgan Freeman got in a car crash last August, and the lady with him wasn’t his wife? That woman, Demaris Meyer, is suing Freeeman for medical expenses, pain and suffering, lost wages, permanent disability and property damage. She’s also complaining that people assume she’s the cause of the actor’s divorce, when she never redeemed his Shawshank in the first place.

I have been labeled as the other woman and have been accused of having caused the breakup of Mr. Freeman’s marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. I had hoped and prayed that Mr. Freeman or his representatives would have set the record straight and cleared my name, but they have not done so and that is why I have chosen to come forward to tell the truth about our relationship.

According to TMZ, Meyer says she and Freeman drank at two separate locations before she let him drive her (in her car) to his estate, where he promised she could sleep in one of the three houses on his property and “would have an easier drive to work the next morning.” He lost control on a Mississippi Delta highway during the 40-mile trip to his estate. “The accident and its aftermath has literally changed my life in every respect…I have not been able to go back to work and still am suffering both physically and emotionally as a result of the accident.” Freeman has yet to comment.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Kate Moss: 24 Hour Party Person

It’s exhausting being hard-partying supermodel Kate Moss! When you’ve got a reputation as the biggest boozing social butterfly of them all, keeping that image going requires commitment, endurance and a liver made of steel. Just looking at her last 24 hours makes us feel tired.

  • Go to babydaddy Jefferson Hack‘s magazine party. Bring new boyfriend Jamie Hince. Leave him apparently to fend for himself “aimlessly.”
  • Leave party at 3am. Go to Lily Allen’s ex Jay Jopling’s house party instead and leave at 5am looking totally wrecked a little worse for wear.
  • Wake up! Throw on a baggy pink jumper and still look amazing. Hook up with another friend, go shopping in Primrose Hill, not forgetting to stop off in the pub.
  • Time to go out again — see Jude Law’s ex-wife Sadie Frost perform in Madonna play in the West End. Go out for more drinks later at the Ivy Club.
  • Get home. Wonder who this small girl who looks a bit like me is. Realize is daughter.

OK, we made the last one up. But blimey, we’re still impressed by the woman’s sheer resilience.  [Photos: Splash News Online]

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