Celebrity Hook Ups

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Russell and Katy Reunited

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Katy Perry has had a busy week hosting the MTV EMAs, but she reunited with lover Russell Brand this weekend to spend some time together in his London neighbourhood. The lookalike pair (tousled brown hair, sunnies, leggy figures, dressing in black…we could go on) spent some downtime at Tinseltown cafe in Hampstead and stepped out from his home loved up to the max.

It may have been a surprise when these two hooked up, but aw, we just can’t get ourselves enough of K-Brand. Hmmm. Rusty? Brerry? Kassell? We’re going to have to work a bit more on this.  [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Jude Law’s Exes Still Love Him

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Jude Law may be fighting lots of negative press recently, what with getting Samantha Burke pregnant and not being able to so far even visit his newborn daughter Sophia. But the Brit thesp must be doing something right, as his two most high-profile exes seem to still love the guy.

Jude’s ex-wife Sadie Frost, with whom he’s got three other children, took to the pages of Grazia magazine this week to declare, “He’s a wonderful person and I’ll support him forever.” The same mag claims in another report that, although we think sounds far-fetched, his other ex Sienna Miller has been meeting up with him on “a series of low-key dates” with one source claiming, “I think Jude and Sienna never really got over their feelings for one another.” Hmm!

Banging the nanny, getting a fling knocked up, going bald – it seems that Jude’s still their number one man. You gotta wonder why he ever let these women go. [Photos: GettyImages]

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Kate Hudson Knows What Men Want (Mainly, Sex)

Finally, Kate Hudson has revealed the understanding of men that have led her to hook up with some high-profile guys like Owen Wilson,  Lance Armstrong and A-Rod. Namely, that they’re simple creatures who need little more than “sex and a sandwich.”

“I sometimes feel like when you’re talking to boys, they just hear certain keywords…But if you had a bubble above their head, they’d be thinking about game scores, masturbation and food,” she tells the current issue of UK Elle magazine. “I love boys…but I believe they’re really simple. Every guy likes to say that they’re complicated, but they’re so easy to figure out.” We’d like to think men of the world rise up in horror at this simplistic appraisal, but we actually reckon she’s pretty right. With A-Rod, anyhow. 

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Russell Brand Is A One-Man Orgasm Machine

Russell Brand is as well known for his incorrigible womanizing than he is anything else, more or less (what, he’s a comedian and actor, too? No way!) and now he’s given us an insight into why he found it hard to stop banging the laydeez. Until he hooked up with Katy Perry, nary a day went by without spotting Russ heading back to his London love-pad in the company of some barely-attired women, and according to the man himself, he knows he’s good at it.

Why? “A requiem of screams…[the] eye-rolling ecstasy, the bacchanalian loss of self where they’re ready to tear up the trees…they become goddesses with oceanic pleasure that looks like it may never end and could devour us,” he told the Sunday Times Magazine. Rather than doubt this amazing appraisal of his bedroom antics, we’ll kindly assume that Russ is an accurate judge of his own performance. Lucky Ms. Perry. 

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Jessica Simpson Hooks Up With Gerard Butler?

In the sex-recycling ways of Hollywood, this rumored coupling is inevitable but oh-so-uninspiring. Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler have reportedly been hooking up at NYC’s Soho House, “laughing and flirting” together (although alongside Jess’s sidekick hairdresser Ken Paves. Awkward!).

Although the plain-speaking Scot and airheaded Texan would seem to have little in common, they’re already connected by his rumored ex Jennifer Aniston who dated John Mayer who dated Jess. So they’ve practically done it already!

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Katy Perry “Warned” By Russell Brand’s Ex

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Their romance has already lasted most of a month, which must be some sort of record for Russell Brand, but his ex-fling has shot out a warning bow for Katy Perry. Georgina Bailie, who was at the center of a huge scandal last year when Russell and fellow broadcaster Jonathan Ross left explicit messages on her grandfather’s phone on a radio show, has spoken out about her experience with the bed-hopping Lothario.

“I don’t think he’s capable of monogamy. I was part of his conveyor belt of women coming through his door. If you go to one of those famous bars or clubs in London every second girl in there knows what Russell is like in bed from personal experience,” she “revealed” to the News of the World.

Really? We haven’t slept with Russell ourselves, but god, tell us something we don’t know. We think Katy’s a big girl and probably knows more than enough about Russell’s reputation for herself. And he dressed more like a normal person, rather than a sex-crazed pirate dandy on his way to see Katy in Los Angeles this weekend (pics below), so we think this one may have legs.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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Rihanna “Mad” At Justin Rumors

Call off the hottest gossip story ever! To our eternal disappointment, it’s being claimed that not only is the Justin Timberlake/Rihanna rumored hookup not true, but that Ri is spitting nails over the allegation, and has texted Justin to make clear her annoyance. Bet Jessica Biel loves that (but of course, she’s not his girlfriend, is she Grandma?).

“Rihanna’s upset, mad and plain pissed off over it. It’s not just that it’s untrue; her reputation is at  stake here. It makes her look like some home-wrecker. And Jessica isn’t some stranger. They know each other, and she likes Jessica a lot,” says UK’s Star mag.

Anyway, our head hurts because of the amount of white gossip noise around the Bermuda triangle of these three – “TimbeRiel?” – means we’re totally confused from day to day. Surely the only way to settle this is if one of them spoke publicly to confirm or deny the breakup/hookup. But that would of course be far too simple. [Photos: , WireImage]

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Madonna Buys Jesus Million-Dollar Pad

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Hooking up with Madonna sure pays dividends. Hot he may be but Jesus Luz’s modeling career has taken off into the stratosphere since becoming the ultimate cougar’s ultimate boy toy, and now she’s apparently forked out $2.5m to put him up in an apartment close to her Manhattan townhouse. So he can be close for, uh, emergencies.

“She is financing everything but Jesus will own it once it’s found and bought. She really wasn’t kidding when she told him he’ll never have to worry about money from now on,” quotes the Sun.  We think the last bit sounds a little suspect – as if Madonna, cigar in mouth, casting couch to one side, gives her young charge a wink and a nod if he continues to “play nice”. But hey, maybe that’s how it works in Sugarmommy land. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Katy Perry And Russell Brand Sitting In A Tree…K.I.S.S.I.N.G

We cracked a joke a couple of months back about Katy Perry and Russell Brand being a hot new celebrity couple for us to gossip over, after they locked lips for Russ’ new film. But – OMG – it seems we were right on the money, as the two sexy stars are banging each other and have been since the MTV VMAs!

“Katy knows his bad boy reputation but could not resist – especially when Russell sent a love poem with a note attached saying, ‘Please send me a poem back.’ Russell killed himself laughing when Katy sent a photo of her boobs with the word ‘poem’ scrawled across them,” claims The Sun.

Ahhh, the stuff great romance is made of, naturally. The couple have just returned from a trip to Thailand, which Katy gushed about on her Twitter, saying, “After a week in magical Thailand I’m ready 2 face the real world again. Been schooled on Morrissey, Oscar Wilde & Peter Sellers… inspired.” Hmmm, sounds remarkably like a touch of Brand to us! [Photos: , Getty Images]

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John Mayer Is An “Inventive Lover,” World Cringes

We have long since stopped envying the billions of celebrity women who’ve passed through John Mayer‘s revolving bedroom door, and now his latest quote has made us even more grossed out. “I have great balance and co-ordination. Inventiveness. I am a very inventive lover – that’s the secret to my success,” he’s reportedly said.

Blee! Now we’re just picturing how he “inventively” shagged Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson… and we wish we weren’t.

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