Celebrity Hook Ups

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Is Halle Berry Getting It On With Another Insanely Hot French Guy? Sources Say “Oui.”

Halle Berry is proving to have a type these days: hot French guys. She and Gabriel Aubry were together for a few years and now that they’ve split, Berry has moved on to Olivier Martinez, best known for lingering in our dreams for the year or so after we saw Unfaithful.

Berry and Martinez are shooting the upcoming film Dark Tide these days, and they’ve been spotted kissing offscreen during their down time. The shot above is just the pair cuddling on the set of the film in South Africa, but People reports that the pair took a romantic vacation to Paris where things heated up. The magazine describes what could possibly be the quintessential French weekend: the pair was spotted riding a motorcycle through the city, going to farmer’s markets, eating fancy dinners and making out in doorways. Is there anything more romantic than making out in a French doorway? No. No there is not. Color us jaloux.

by (@missmuttoo)

Glee’s Off-Set Drama Is Straight-Up Dirty

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Here’s what you missed on Glee: Santana and Puck have apparently, been getting it on quietly, on the side. And hell hath no fury like a Cheerio scorned, because when bad-boy Puck decided to spread his, umm, “glee” to other willing candidates, Santana blew a major fuse and screwed up Puck’s car. Drama drama drama!

Sounds like a fun episode? What if we told you it actually went down, between actors Mark Salling and Naya Rivera, who were said to be bumping uglies off-screen. It’s never a good idea to hook up with a co-star,  dudes! And when she found out that musician Mark was singing tunes to other ladies, she went ballistic. The green-eyed monster in her ended up keying and egging his car, which just so happened to be a Lexus. OUCH. On another note: how much are these Glee kids making? ‘Cause a Lexus ain’t exactly cheap.

Salling’s peeps are totes defending his studly status, saying he did nothing wrong. His pal, singer  Samantha Marq quite rightly said, “…Besides, it’s hard to call it infidelity when they weren’t officially together!”

Naya, if you were ever planning to get it on with him again, messing his car was probably not the smartest way to go about it. But dare we say: we love the off-screen drama more than what’s on the show. Glee squee!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Rachel Uchitel Downgrades So Fast She Breaks The Sound Barrier, Dates Jeremy London

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Any reader who has accidentally swallowed a penny this afternoon is encouraged to read the story below, as you will be barfing it back up in no time. As she continues her cross-country tour of reality TV rehab facilities, Tiger Wood’s former mistress Rachel Uchitel has reportedly discovered new love. According his wife, erstwhile kidnap victim Jeremy London has been recently canoodling with the professional mistress, whom he denies dating but admits is an “amazing, intelligent and sensitive person.”

Now we all know what you’re thinking: “barf.” But maybe to Rachel Uchitel, Jeremy London isn’t just a washed-up celeb addicted to fame and probably also drugs. He is…he’s…well, we have no idea what else he might be.  Fun to have at parties? Still living off his Party of Five money?

Which brings us to the larger question:  how can Rachel Uchitel downgrade between the past men in her life to Jeremy London that hard, that fast, and not get some sort of sexual whiplash? As humiliating as the Tiger Woods scandal was for everyone involved, at least we understood the whole “attractive, multi-quadrillionaire sports star” thing. You just know they were doing it on an ostrich-feather bed with 900 count Egyptian cotton sheets. On Tiger’s private jet.  While flying over Dubai.  And rumored fling David Boreanz? Well, we’ve been known to watch a Bones marathon or two, and let’s just say it’s not for the acting.

So, what does Jeremy London have that makes him so appealing to someone who has experienced such luxury?  That one gross news boy cap? London probably doesn’t really even have a house anymore; he just sleeps on a dog bed on Dr. Drew’s patio. Which leaves us with only one possible solution: Rachel Uchitel has such terrible taste in men she literally cannot see the difference between Jeremy London and…any other man.  Can that possible be true? Again, has she seen that newsboy cap? We guess we begrudgingly give the couple our blessing, and hope these two crazy kids can find room in their busy televised-rehab and marriage-destroying careers to make this thing work. Now if you excuse us, we have to take one million showers.

[Photos: GettyImages]

by (@missmuttoo)

Snooki’s New Hook-Up: “She’s Drunk Most Of The Time”

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Aww, not even an “I love Snooki” tee-shirt could do the trick for ex Emilio Masella. Because our little Snooki is off to the sex shops for someone else now! Her new guido love, Jeff Miranda, has managed extricating his tongue long enough to give the press some one-on-one time. Totally unexpected, right? Why would anyone making out with Snooki want to behave like a fame-hungry ‘ho?

So this Miranda dude apparently met Snooki last week at Karma nightclub and won’t shut up about it, saying, “We hit it off really, really good. Nicole is actually really cute and seems like a cool a** person, even though she’s drunk most of the time. She’s a real sweet girl.” Our Snooki? Drunk? Sir, you lie!

Also…can we just repeat the “cool a** person, even though she’s drunk…” statement because that’s like, the best quote EVER. Also in what’s like the biggest lie EVER, Jeffie said they went to Snooki’s home the night they met and, “had in-depth conversations about each other’s lives, what our backgrounds were…It was almost like an instant connection.” Yeah right, they talked all night. Surrrrre. Dude, your pants are on fire.

There’s tons more, believe us, and it’s all in the same barf-inducing Snooki-soulmate vein. But here’s a sign that they’re a match made in cheeseball-heaven. He sighed, “…Her lips are matched perfectly to mine…I couldn’t even explain it.” There you go. The same weird, unnaturally colored beige lips seal the deal.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

Chuck and Vanessa, Back On And Loving It Up

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It seems that Ed Westwick shutting out Jessica Szhor was akin to a fifth grader acting around a girl he likes. Being mean translates to “I like you.” Because the ex-couple seem quite on now, but their reunion was anything but PG-13.

The New York Post reports that the Gossip Girl stars were flown down to Chicago for a Belvedere Nights event and festival. E! Online confirms there were in Chicago because they were spotted at Lollapalooza.

They were supposed to turn up at both events (apparently, Ed was Vanessa’s plus one). “Supposed” being the operative word here, because the Bass and Vanessa decided to ignore their panicked reps and refused to leave their room. Publicists were banging down their doors but Banessa refused to acknowledge their existence and went on doing whatever it was that they were doing. Must’ve made them hungry too because their room service bill was over $800. *Nudge Nudge Wink Wink*

But with all the lovin’ comes a fair amount of hatin’. Especially from the event sponsors who had coughed up first class plane tickets and VIP festival passes for the pair. A source reveals, “Eventually this blew up into a big argument on Sunday, when the event boss phoned Jessica and said he was canceling their flights. She said ‘We don’t need to do this. We can pay our own way.’ They left that night, and Jessica paid for everything.”

That’s right, all the threats of canceled plane tickets didn’t bother the loved up pair, because they insist that they didn’t know they had to turn up at the event. They only surfaced to watch The Strokes and Edward Sharpe perform post the event. Uh, right. The company flew you first class to another city and paid for two hotel rooms so you could get it on. Because people are really that nice.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

5 Reasons Jennifer Aniston Will Be Single Forever

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It was announced this weekend that Jennifer Aniston will be appearing in an episode of Cougar Town with former Friends costar Courtney Cox, to which we reply: Oh, girl, no. You’re over 40, lose men like we lose our car keys, and are generally agreed to be the hottest, wealthiest old maid in Hollywood. The fish are already in the barrel, Jen; you don’t have to hand-paint little targets on their fins.

Thus we realized that all of Jen’s recent career events seem to be working toward her continued spinsterhood.  Is it intentional? Is it karma? Is it just Jen’s agent laughing hysterically with his/her hand over the phone? In our efforts to get to the bottom of this, we present you, the jury, with 5 Reasons Jennifer Aniston Will Be Single Forever. The evidence speaks for itself!

  • 1) Appearing on Cougar Town: Okay, we know we just said this one, but seriously.  Courtney Cox is also on the show, but she is 1) happily married, 2) has a baby and 3) has a body so tight we could bounce a quarter off of it. Okay, Jen has that last one too, but still, only one ex-Friends star is going to get out of this one unscathed.  If Aniston insists on doing the show, we silently pray that she somehow gets elected mayor of Cougar Town, or at least receives a key to the city. The jokes, they will write themselves.
  • 2) Talks About Sperm Banks with Jay Leno: Aniston is starring in both The Switch and Just Go With It, two films in which she plays a woman desperate for a baby; The Switch even has a single Jen using donor sperm to inseminate herself. Do you think Jen’s ever read The Secret? The theory goes, sometimes when you spend a lot of mental energy picturing something, like having a baby by yourself (or chatting with Jay Leno about frozen sperm), it comes true. By projecting the image of a baby-hungry single lady, Jen might be manifesting that into reality, or something. We’re not exactly sure; we’re going to have to ask Oprah about this one. Either way Jen comes off like a sad aunt, and that’s the last thing she needs!

Read more…

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Jason Sudeikis Rips On Jennifer Aniston, Jen Dries Teary Eyes With $1,000,000 Bills

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In this month’s issue of GQ, Jason Sudeikis brushes off a question about dating Jennifer Aniston with a laugh, saying “She should be so lucky.” Whoa, do you need some aloe for that burn, Jen? Now, its pretty hard to feel sympathetic toward a toned, gorgeous millionaire still living high off Friends money, but seriously, that was way harsh, Tai.

Jason’s little dig makes us want to call Aniston up and tell her to come eat Nutella with a spoon at our place, while we watch Drop Dead Gorgeous in our sweatpants. Were going to be doing it anyway! Sudeikis and Aniston were rumored to be dating as recently as two weeks ago, having worked together when filming The Bounty Hunter. But apparently that did not end well! Also adding intrigue to insult is Sudeikis fairly recent divorce and reported new relationship with Mad Men’s January Jones.

Considering Sudeikis is a comedian who is also currently dating one of the most beautiful creatures alive, were going to assume he was just making light of the rumors surrounding his personal life. But even if it was a joke, it seems like a cruel one to make in public, given that it’s only going to fuel the insane idea that Aniston is Hollywood’s Honorary Spinster Aunt. We hope for Jen’s sake that its the latter, but either way, girl, you are always invited to come cry on our couch. Just bring your own spoon.

[Photos: GettyImages]

– Halle Kiefer

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Are Ashley Greene And Joe Jonas Dating?

Joe Jonas broke up with Demi Lovato over a month ago, so it’s about time the serial dater had someone new on his arm. The question is, is Joe’s new girlfriend Ashley Greene? That’s the word on the street! A source spotted the two dining together at The Ivy in London, discreetly having drinks and then sneaking out the back door and departing in separate vans.

Curiously, Ashley doesn’t fit Joe’s type, but who cares about type when you’ve got a girl who takes her clothes off to sell beverages or, really, just for any old reason? We might not be a psychic vampire, but we can definitely predict that Joe’s purity ring is going to be working overtime if this relationship is real.

by (@missmuttoo)

Couple Or Hook-Up? Amber Rose And Reggie Bush Spotted Together

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Is there such a limited pool of celebrity that they have to keep dating each other in one big incestuous smorgasbord? Reggie Bush and Amber Rose have decided to join forces. As in Reggie of on-and-off, and now ex Kim Kardashian fame. Kimmy’s happily moved on to another NFL star, Miles Austin, FYI. Amber is of  ex-Kanye West and freaky fashion fame (photos).

So these two scorned lovahs showed up together at the AXE Lounge in Southhampton, and were getting it on all night. And we mean together, because they wouldn’t even be separated while going on restroom breaks. They went together, prompting a security to hustle them through the crush. So… what were you two up to in the bathroom? Hit us up with some theories, because we have some of our own… and they totally don’t have anything to do with actually going to the WC!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Paris Hilton Has A New Man

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We so called it! Paris Hilton split with Doug Reinhardt – we know, devastating – to proclaim she didn’t want to date anyone for a while. We said bullshiz, albeit more politely. And we were right, because the official Paris rebound rubber band has twanged gloriously again! And her new dude has a (self-made) lifestyle we’re guessing the heiress is more than familiar with.

Entre, boyfriend du jour Cy Waits who’s a mega Las Vas nightclub heavyweight. Alongside his brother Jesse and friend Victor Drai he owns celebrity promised lands XS, Tryst and Drai’s. Apparently, the two have been dating for a roughly a month. Aww, we feel kinda bad for Reinhardt. He keeps getting dumped and all he gets left with is… burritos. And a lot of money.

[Photo: Getty Images]