Washington D.C. is famously known as “Hollywood for ugly people,” so perhaps it’s no surprise that when the candidate in question is a genuine celebrity they have an unfair advantage over their election rivals, especially considering the uniform unpopularity of career politicians. Some celebrities have quietly served their home districts in Congress or local office while others have ascended to the highest seats of power in the land. Read more…
Count it! Man, we are like Nate Silver for celeb political careers over here. We’re not saying that we’re 100% sure Ben Affleck will run for Massachusetts’ soon-to-be vacant Senate seat as we predicted yesterday. We’re just 100% sure in our hearts he will after finding out that he went ahead and dropped out of his upcoming crime rom-com Focus. According to Variety, “while the actor very much wanted to do the film, the timing just couldn’t be worked out.” Timing, eh? Clearing his schedule for some heavy-duty campaigning and freeing up Kristen Stewart to get a younger, more age-appropriate leading man? We’ll vote yes on that!
In case you’re flummoxed as to why Ben would be diving into politics, we should probably point out that he’s actually in D.C. this week giving the House Armed Services Committee an “update on the evolving security situation in the Democratic Republic of Congo and implications for U.S. national security.” You know, like a politician would do. According to Variety, Ben is also allegedly focused on writing, producing and starring in his coming movie Live By Night. Not according to IMDB, he’s not, but we guess it’s possible Affleck might stick with his incredibly successful directing campaign for a tiny bit longer. Just a tiny bit.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Jeez, it’s not that we don’t think politics aren’t important. We do. We were thrilled when Alec Baldwin talked about running for mayor of New York for a hot second. It’s just that we love movies, and Ben Affleck potentially running for John Kerry‘s Massachusetts Senate seat would put a real crimp in our movie-going enjoyment. “Believe it or not, one name I have heard tossed around is that of actor-director Ben Affleck, the pride of Cambridge, who’s been active in Democratic Party politics for more than a decade,” CBS Boston’s Jon Keller claims. But..but what about Affleck’s plans to star in Focus across from Kristen Stewart? Or his designs to remake The Stand? Are movie rumors no longer sacred?
Of course, the answer relies on the rumor that President Obama will be nominating Kerry to replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State this week, thus leaving his seat vacant. Luckily Keller also name checks a variety of politicians who might run, as well as basically anyone over 30 who can get 10,000 signatures. After examining Ben’s IMDB page, though, we realize he has nothing planned on either the acting or directing docket after Focus and the crime drama Runner, Runner with Justin Timberlake. Considering how successful Argo was this year, we doubt Ben Affleck would run for office so soon. On the other hand…we hate being wrong, so let’s say he’s going to scoop up that Senate seat like yet another Golden Globe. Oh, he’s going to win a Golden Globe too. We have so many Ben Affleck-related predictions to put out into the world!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Lena Dunham: killing it in the name of democracy! Cramming an entire Girls episode worth of jokes into one short promo, Dunham hypes President Obama in a new video comparing her first time voting to her first time..yeah, you know what we’re getting at. Of course Lena isn’t the first funny lady or gent to rep the president for four more years.
Hoo boy, this guy. After rumors claimed he had some devastating news to reveal regarding President Obama, Donald Trump has instead released a video offering to donate $5 million to a charity of Barry’s choosing if the President “opens up and gives his college records and applications and if he gives his passport applications and records.” College applications? Do you know how embarrassing those would be if they got out? We barely want to think about our essays. “Why Working At A Summer Arts Camp Made Me Want To Go To Brown.” Ugh, how humiliating.
Of course the likelihood that Obama would indulge this insanity is slim to none (why would a standing president release his passport info? Let alone anyone?), and even if he did, Trump could just claim all the records are fake anyway. “I’m very honored to have gotten him to release his long form birth certificate. Or whatever it might be,” Trump declares, before listing some possible charity options for Obama to chose from: “Inner city children in Chicago, American Cancer Society, AIDS research, anything he wants.” If for some reason President Obama accidentally slips on one of Biden’s toy cars before October 31, cracks his head on the floor and is temporarily unable to make rational decisions, however, we would love, love, love to suggest some charities he could donate that $5 million too. Sure they’re fake. That just makes it a more satisfying challenge for Donald Trump to hold up his end of the bargain!
Both presidential candidates have received some pretty high-level endorsements from the celebrity world in these past few weeks. Stacey Dash, one of Nicki Minaj’s alter egos, Clint Eastwood and his chair have come out for Mitt Romney, and Snoop Dogg has taken Instagram by storm with his hilarious list of reasons why he’s voting for Barack Obama. But by far and away our favorite celeb endorsement belongs to Italian supermodel Claudia Romani, who appeared on Miami Beach this morning wearing a black bikini with an Obama thong!
With the final presidential debates happening tonight in nearby Boca Raton, Claudia is a one woman billboard for freedom of speech. And a sexy one at that! The lovely Miss Romani has done some campaigning of her own recently, reaching the finals of our 2012 Bikini Awards. Despite a good fight, she was beaten by Beyonce. Where are the recounts when you need ‘em!? Luckily she only has to wait until next summer to run again, instead of four whole years. Democracy is a beautiful thing. Check out more from our favorite civic-minded bikini enthusiast in the gallery below!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Can Madonna not hear herself when she talks or something? That’s the only way we can explain how her compliments manage to go so terribly wrong. “Ya’ll better vote for f—ing Obama, okay? For better or for worse, we have a black Muslim in the White House.” Madge explained during her concert at the Verizon Center in D.C. last night. ” Now that is some s-–. That’s some amazing s-–. It means there is hope in this country. And Obama is fighting for gay rights, okay? So support the man, god damn it!” Hey, we all anticipate the day we’ll have a black Muslim LGBT supporter in the White House (just as we look forward to the first female president, and the first Asian-American President, and the first Latino president and…) but in case you just woke up from a five-year coma, President Obama isn’t a Muslim! He’s also spent way too many man-hours convincing people of that the things he says about himself are true. Oh Madonna, how did your endorsement manage to worse than no endorsement at all?
Now that we think about it, Madge has been paying a lot of compl-insults lately. “You wanna know something? I love her. I love her. I do love her. Imitation is the highest form of flattery,” Madge said about Lady Gaga during an Atlantic City show earlier this month. “But one day, very soon, we’re going to be on stage together. Just you wait. You think I’m kidding? I love Lady Gaga.” Wow, we’d hate to see what happens when Madonna tries to tell her kids she loves them. “I love you, I do. You can’t tie your shoes or ride a bike, but Mummy loves you. For better or for worse, you’re too short to make your own lunch, so I made it for you!”
Let’s just get this out of the way first: Dwayne Johnson knew about the death of Osama bin Laden before you did. He knew about it before the rest of the world did. How exactly did The Rock find out that the notorious Al-Qaeda leader had died before the president officially announced it in May 2011? “I got friends in high places and low places. It was a very interesting day; I’m proud of our country and proud to be American,” the G.I. Joe: Retaliation star coyly told MovieFone. “The individuals who were there were proud to let me know. I knew the president was going to give his speech; I thought he was going to give it at a certain time and so I thought, I think it’s appropriate that I tweet, ‘I’m damn proud to be an American,’ and keep it in that space without giving away too much information.” So … how much you want to bet President Obama just has The Rock on speed dial? It’s all adding up!
While currently promoting his muscle-bound role in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Johnson is already looking forward to the day he will be Leader of the Free World. “Right now the best way that I can impact the world is through entertainment,” explains Johnson. “One day, and that day will come, I can impact the world through politics. The great news is that I am American, therefore I can become president.” Wow, looks like SNL’s “The Rock Obama” was eerily prescient. Well, he’s got our vote. We’re all for universal health care! And not getting our arms ripped out of their sockets!
[Photo: Getty Images]
It’s only a matter of time before Matt Damon gets into politics, isn’t it? Just give him a few more years to get rid of that baby face and he’s going to go all Alec Baldwin on us, minus that unsettling airplane incident.Â In the meantime, Damon has been sharpening his claws on President Obama‘s pant leg. Metaphorically-speaking. “I’ve talked to a lot of people who worked for Obama at the grassroots level. One of them said to me, ‘Never again. I will never be fooled again by a politician,'” Damon gripes in a new interview for Elle Magazine. “You know, a one-term president with some balls who actually got stuff done would have been, in the long run of the country, much better.” Whoa, Matt! Them’s genital-related fighting words!
Apparently not a fan of the Commander-in-Chief, Damon made similarly critical remarks last March while at a junket for The Adjustment Bureau, saying of Obama, â€œI think heâ€™s rolled over to Wall Street completely. The economy has huge problems. We still have all these banks that are too big to fail.â€ Don’t worry, Matt. Soon enough the country will be able to benefit from all the political knowledge you gained from starring in We Bought a Zoo. Soon enough.
[Photo: Getty Images/]
While most of us associate him with Get Him To The Greek or making love to Katy Perry, there’s another role Russell Brand’s U.K. riot comments are introducing to the world: anarchist rioter. Brand wrote an essay for the Guardian UK, in which the British comedian admits “I should here admit that I have been arrested for criminal damage for my part in anti-capitalist protest earlier in this decade. I often attended protests and then, in my early 20s, and on drugs, I enjoyed it when the protests lost direction and became chaotic, hostile even.” Russell, no! You’re going to ruin the legacy of Hop for everybody! Or at least the eight people who saw it!
We’ve read about Russell Brand’s drug addiction and other dark elements of his past, but this seems like a new wrinkle in the man who would be Arthur. “I found those protests exciting, yes, because I was young and a bit of a twerp but also, I suppose, because there was a void in me,” the comedian writes, before admitting “I don’t know enough about politics to ponder a solution and my hands are sticky with blood money from representing corporate interests through film, television and commercials.” Not as sticky as the high jinks Russell gets into in Rock of Ages, coming out summer 2012. Just kidding, though Brand tries to make Hop 2, we will start flipping over cars ourselves.