Uh, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo? We don’t really know you or what you’re about or understand your role in the Manti Te’o fake girlfriend saga. Heck, we barely understand any part of the Manti Te’o fake girlfriend saga. We do, however, know Dr. Phil and as such we are cringing at your decision to sit down with the good doctor to discuss your side of the story. We know you want to respond to Manti’s Katie Couric interview, but dude, did you not see Dr. Phil’s interview with Dina Lohan last fall? Where Lindsay Lohan‘s mom came across as defensive, evasive and potentially inebriated? Based on that interview alone, we can say with some confidence that Dr. Phil is not the person you want to sit down with if you don’t want to run the risk of seeming like a total nutburger. He will hang you out to dry if you get weird.
Oh Justin Bieber! Not a day goes by where we don’t laugh at the many, many scandals that drop in your lap. Like the one reported by Radar today, in which you allegedly cheated on Selena Gomez with a 22-year-old nursing student named Milyn “Mimi” Jenson after smoking a bunch of pot. According to the site, Bieber retired to the Four Seasons with Jenson and rapper pal Lil Twist on December 21…before his split from Selena was a done deal. “Justin surprised her by saying, ‘I want to know if you taste good.’ He started kissing her cheek and ear and neck and then her whole body,” their source claims, after which they totally did it. While Radar emphasizes the “debauchery-filled” details of the evening, the whole thing sounds pretty normal and lame as infidelities go…provided it’s true, of course. Remember Mariah Yeater, the fan who claimed she was pregnant with Justin Bieber’s baby for months? Except no, of course she wasn’t? That’s all we’re saying.
Over on TMZ, the Justin Bieber gossip gets significantly less sexy. According to Nortth Carolina radio host Colette Harrington, Bieber and his posse mocked her in the Ritz-Carlton gym, telling her to “shut the f— up” when she counted reps out loud and, even worse, spat blue Gatorade into her water bottle. “I did not look at my water bottle before taking a drink,” Harrington confirmed in case you were wondering, but plans to sell the bottle to benefit her local Ronald McDonald House. Of course, Harrington never actually saw Justin Bieber spit into her water bottle or knew for certain who he or his friends were talking to; Justin’s rep has since denied the allegations. On the other hand…you just know someone is going to buy that disgusting backwash-filled water bottle. Ronald McDonald House: 1. Justin Bieber: 0.
“At the end of the day I probably let myself down, I let my family down, I let other people down,” Prince Harry sighed during a recent interview about his nude Las Vegas photos taken last August. To which we say…do you even know your family, Harry? Maybe things were different when Queen Elizabeth II was a girl, but if the last couple decades have taught us anything, it’s that you could barely be considered a British royal without at least one scandal in your back pocket. So don’t worry, Harry! You’re just joining other infamous royal scandals such as…
It’s been quite a year for Justin Bieber. Oh, we don’t mean his musical career or relationship with Selena Gomez. We’re referring to all the truly weird scandals he has somehow gotten himself embroiled in. For example, now the hamster community hates the Biebs for giving his pet Pac away to a fan. “The moment that hamster was handed off to a screaming girl in a harsh, frenzied environment was likely the moment it gazed at the short path to its doom,” claimed the California Hamster Association, who honestly sound like the most amazing pack of divas we could ever hope to meet. It’s not like the fan immediately ate the hamster or anything. To our knowledge. It seems fitting that Justin finishes out the year with a new odd scandal after the parade of weirdness that has plagued him for the last twelve months…
We guess we just never imagined an Olympian would go into sex work. Doesn’t every athlete get sponsored by Wheaties for the rest of their natural lives? We guess not, seeing as how ESPN reported today that three-time Olympic runner Suzy Favor Hamilton has admitted on Twitter that she’s also been working as an escort. Even more intriguingly, Hamilton claims she was “drawn to escorting in large part because it provided many coping mechanisms for me when I was going through a very challenging time with my marriage and my life.” Wow, the things we don’t know about stuff. Of course, we can’t pretend we don’t know a lot about celebs and sex work. Don’t worry, Suzy. You have plenty of interesting company when it comes to celeb escort scandals…
We guess there are two aspects of Fergie and Josh Duhamel‘s recent “opening up” (if you will) that we don’t get. Both the Black Eyed Peas singer and her life partner have acknowledged the skeezy stripper cheating scandal that rocked their relationship back in 2009. “When you go through difficult times it really makes you stronger as a unit. As a partnership. It does for us anyways. Our love today is a deeper love,” Fergie told Oprah for an Oprah’s Next Chapter interview that aired Sunday. “I’m actually happy that all that happened, because we wouldn’t be as strong as we are now,” Duhamel added. Okay, sure, but… here’s what we don’t understand:
The good news for Team Kristen Stewart is that she’s given people something new to talk about other than her cheating scandal with Snow White And The Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. The bad news is that…it doesn’t exactly downplay her raunchy side. The international trailer for On The Road is now being seen on this side of the Atlantic, and it features K-Stew cutting loose as a teenage temptress.She plays Marylou, the 16-year-old wife of Garrett Hedlund’s character Dean Moriarty in the big screen adaptation of the legandary Jack Kerouac novel. Even though she’s a teen bride she’s no shirking violet: Kristen apparently gets naked several times in the flick, has a threesome, and gets up to other things that we’ll probably lose our PG-13 rating over.
Although it’s not due out until December 21st, the film has been making waves ever since debuting at Cannes this spring after spending years in development. In addition to Kristen and Garrett, it also stars Sam Riley, Amy Adams, Kirsten Dunst,Terrence Howard and a whole host of Hollywood hot stuffs. But no matter how many stars light up the cast, it seems fairly certain that this film is all about the K-Stew. Which begs the question: is this a good time to drop such a sexually charged trailer in the midst of her personal crisis and possible image problem? Does the clip highlight her awesome acting skills and range, or just leave and even worse taste in the mouth of fans who grew to love her as Bella? Sound off in the comments section!
Most of us would have been cast out of society if we’d been caught in a compromising position at an adult movie theater, but not Fred Willard! Despite being fired from PBS, Willard seems to be taking his (seriously gross) scandal in stride, even joking about it on Fallon last night. “The movie you went to see..was it The Firm? Was it Free Willy? Was it Anaconda?” Jimmy Fallon cracked. “No, sadly it was Get Shorty,” Willard joked back. Dang, son! That takes some serious stones. Of course, if Fred rides this out like we think he will, he certainly won’t be the first celeb to survive a scandal. Celebs like…
If you had told us we would spend today blogging about the detonation of RobSten, we would have done a five-minute-long spit take, then demanded you get out of our cubicles. Unfortunately, seeing as how Kristen Stewart‘s apology to Robert Pattinson for cheating on him with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders has been immediately followed by Sanders’ own apology, we guess we’re resigned to the fact that this is actually happening. “I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family,” the director told Peoplein a statement. “My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.” Maybe we can pretend this isn’t happen for just a little while long? Please? Please?
Of course, as we pointed out this morning, it was the director’s wife, model Liberty Ross, who offered the first public reaction to the impending scandal. “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together,” she retweeted before deleting her Twitter account. Ross also allegedly posted a photo of a drunken Snow White to her (now deleted) Instagram account. Her comment on the photo? “Not so pretty and pure.” Oh lordy. Why is there never a fainting couch around when we need one?
Practically every celebrity has to have a sex scandal at some point in their careers, but a multimillion dollar one? That’s one for the Sex Scandal Hall Of Fame. Why hasn’t someone built that get? We’ll start looking into zoning laws; in the meantime, Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi, star of Crouching Tiger, Rush Hour 2 and Memoirs Of A Geisha, is fending off claims by the Chinese media that she prostituted herself to various Chinese politicians and bigwigs to the tune of $110 million. It’s wrong that we’re impressed by that number, right? Okay, cheerfully withdrawn!
The Daily Mail reports that Beijing businessman Xu Ming claims to have slept with the actress for $945,000; other accusations allege that Zhang slept with politician Bo Xilai on multiple occasions for money. “We read this outrageous report in the Hong Kong’s Apple Daily. It sent stone-cold chills down our spines and has left us with a feeling of deep sadness,” Zhang’s reps said in a statement. “This time, we are telling those rumor-makers that we will respond. We will prove our side of the story; we’ll seek legal justice; we’ll find you in the darkest corner and go after you.” Get ‘em, girl! Don’t let anyone spread lies about you. On the other hand, if the gossip were to be true … well, you’d still have $110 million. Is it wrong that we think that wouldn’t be such a bad consolation prize? Sorry! We’re the worst! That’s just so much money!