Every actor, musician or reality TV star dreams of the event that proves he or she has “made it.” Maybe it’s an Oscar, a Grammy, a blockbuster film or a platinum record. These days for celebrities (particularly those of the D-List set) “making it” means creating a signature fragrance. And with this comes the inevitable: a cheesy perfume promotional photo shoot.
These photo ops include, but are not limited to, the celebrity “spritzing” his or her new scent (see exhibit Sean “Diddy” Combs and Pamela Anderson), bungling an awkwardly large model bottle of his or her fragrance (see exhibit Kylie Minogue, Vera Wang and Celine Dion) and even dressing up in some ridiculous get-up (see exhibit Paris Hilton and Katie Price).
Without further ado, TheFABlife is proud to present the 25 Cheesiest Celebrity Perfume Photo Ops. Smell ya later, stinky celebs.
25. Victoria and David Beckham with “Beckham Signature Fragrance Collection”
24. Nikki Taylor with “Begin”
23. Jennifer Aniston with “Lolavie”
22. Christina Aguilera with “Inspire”
21. Eva Longoria with “Eva”
20. Hilary Duff with “With Love…Hilary Duff”
19. Ashanti with “Precious Jewel”
18. Kim Kardashian with “Voluptious”
17. Maria Sharapova with “Maria Sharapova”
16. Naomi Campbell with “Naomi Campbell Pure”
15. Kimora Lee Simmons with “Baby Phat Goddess”
14. Queen Latifah with “‘Queen by Queen Latifah”
13. Shania Twain with “Shania by Stetson”
12. Mariah Carey with “M”
11. Sarah Jessica Parker with “Covet”
10. Sean “P. Diddy” Combs with “Unforgiveable”
9. J. Lo with “Deseo”
8. Vera Wang with “Princess”
7. Gene Simmons with “Kiss Him”
6. Kylie Minogue with “Darling”
5. Pamela Anderson with “Malibu by Pamela Anderson”
4. Paris Hilton with “Tease”
3. Celine Dion with “Celine Dion”
2. Antonio Banderas with “Blue Seduction”
1. Katie Price with “Stunning”
Another day, another Michael Lohan arrest, and yet another John Mayer interview where he tries to be funny but comes off as a jackass. It’s like these celebrities can’t think of any new and creative ways to entertain us. This time, however, Mayer isn’t skeeving us out by talking about former conquests or macking on girls a decade younger than him , he’s just being blissfully ignorant of how lame he sounds.
Allow us to break down this most recent talking point about how he’s totally not gonna sell out by creating a line of perfume. It sounds halfway between a failed stand-up routine and that annoying friend you have that ends every bad joke with “Am I right??”
I’m not selling ‘John Mayer: the cologne’. If I did it would just smell like sausage and sleep.
Wokka wokka! Sausage! And SLEEP! Sleep doesn’t even smell, you guys!
I don’t look at my fans and think, ‘Wow, they really like what I do musically. Imagine if I could get 60 more dollars out of them!’
So noble! Wait, he could totally do a Designer Imposters version of his own cologne and sell it on the cheap. If you love “John Mayer Smells Like Ass”, you’ll love “Running For Mayer”.
Who out there really goes, ‘You know what, I just f**king love perfumes. I always have since I was a kid. If I weren’t a pop singer, I’d be a perfumier…’ (sic)? At some point I may turn into an a**hole, but right now I just peddle a CD for 15 dollars every two years.
Er, at some point?
Oh John, you’re even more clueless than we thought. And you’re missing a great opportunity, there’s a tag line somewhere in making your body smell like a wonderland. [Photo: Getty Images]