Don’t fire up your Blu-Ray player just yet, Kanye! Looks like you’ll have to return once again to the original Kim Kardashian/Ray J sex tape in order to get your jollies. You perv. Despite the fact that the ‘bloids claim there is a second erotic video featuring the former couple, both Kim and the porn company who owns her first tape deny its existence. “There is no truth to this and there’s no tape. Unfortunately the outlet that first wrote about this didn’t bother to check their sources or story,” the Kardashian rep sighed. “We’ve already spoken to the third party that brought the first tape to us and, a second tape, or additional footage from the first tape isn’t being shopped around or even exists,” Vivid Entertainment CEO Steve Hirschexplained yesterday. Oh, also…we’ve already seen Kim and Ray J having sex. How much more does the world need? How many hours of homemade porn must Kim and Ray J produce before the nation is finally satisfied?
Okay, so HuffPo reports that the alleged footage is much “raunchier” than the first film, but our point remains! The whole internet is full of porn, people. Branch out! Live a little. Now a Kim and Kanye sex tape on the other hand…that would be a different story. Plus you know Yeezy would make it all arty and insane. Bizarre bird women! Ballerinas! A tasteful shout-out to Michael Jackson!
Having only been online for a day, Hulk Hogan’s sex tape has already entered the canon of celebrity sex tapes forever. Whether that’s a good thing for him or us is another question. Haha! We’re kidding, of course! It’s horrible for both Hogan and humanity, much like these other cringe-inducing celeb sex tapes.
It’s official: Kim Kardahsian is Kanye West’sBeautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. We know that Yeezy is extremely proud of Kim’s infamous sex tape with Ray J, even triumphantly rapping about it on his newest track “Clique.” But we didn’t realize just how much Kanye was into the homemade porn. Before the two started dating, the rapper apparently would watch the sex tape during sex with his other girlfriends. You know, just to get himself in the mood. The rather icky reports come to us from TMZ, which cites multiple sources confirming Kanye’s oddly obsessive bedroom ritual, which must have earned him a spot in the Guinness Record Book for “Most Time Fantasizing About Being Ray J.”
But thankfully to everyone but Ray J, Kim and Kanye are now Kimye and may be discussing making babies in the near future. Literally! The first part of the season finale of Keeping Up With The Kardashians aired last night, and the whole crew seemed to have baby fever. Khloe went to a fertility clinic to help her conceive with husband Lamar Odom, and Kim went along as well. In typical fashion Kim made the meeting about her, and the discussion soon turned to getting her eggs frozen for future insemination. The Kardashian Dynasty must live on! Although Scott Disick is definitely doing his part to thwart their evil plans of reality TV world domination. Upon learning that his partner/baby mama Kourtney was going off birth control for good and wanted at least four more children, Scott looked into getting a vasectomy. Way to take one for the team!
One Night In Paris is the gift that keeps on giving. Wait — the sounded wrong. What we mean is that the sex tape Paris Hilton made, and which leaked all over the world, back in 2003, will never fall off the pop culture radar. Like, never ever. It’s become so much a part of our lexicon that we have have folks like Kim Kardashian making references to it. Did we say references? We meant pot shots. Cue Keeping Up With the Kardashians this weekend, where Kim and her mother, Kris Jenner actually spied on Bruce Jenner‘s golf game with Angie Everhart. Do we even get into that? We can’t. We just — can’t. Don’t “spy” on your husband for ratings, Kris. It’s really bad form. Anyhow, during this little recon mission, Kris asked Kim, “Do you have a night vision camera?” Kim’s response was, “No. That was Paris Hilton.” Oh well done, Kim. Great “reference” to the night vision shots of Paris cavorting with Rick Saloman on her sex tape. How clever of you. NOT. What’s that they say about people who live in glass houses? Just because you’re dating Kanye West now does not mean that your own personal 2007 sex tape dramz with Ray J has been magically erased, Ms. Kardashian. Or is it okay to randomly bring that up on reality shows too? Honestly, if someone actually did bring up Kim’s sex tape now, we have a feeling her reaction — or rather, her expression — would be something like this.
Remember we told you there was a Hulk Hogan sex tape in existence last month, right? If your brain protectively wiped that memory, we’ll remind you: This tape, unearthed by Vivid Entertainment, features him getting it on with a naked unidentified woman, whose name Hulk can’t remember. And this bit brings on the LOLs again — the Hulk apparently tells her, in the video, “I started to work out again.” Best of all, his “thong-shaped tan line” is in full view. He insists that he doesn’t know who the woman was because he was on a four-month sex-and-booze binge at the time the tape was shot, saying, “During that time, I don’t even remember people’s names, much less girls.”
Unfortunately, the tape has reared its ugly head again (sorry). TMZ reports that black-and-white screen grabs from the sex tape have surfaced on the interwebz, on TheDirty.com, last week to be precise, and more photographs have been published after. And Hogan is hulking out and threatening legal action against TheDirty’s editor Nik Richie. His lawyer sent a cease-and-desist letter to Richie, which stated, “As you know, should a sex tape or photographs of Mr. Bollea [Hogan's real name] exist, they were taken without his consent and therefore the same would constitute a felony in the State of Florida.” Apparently, the site doesn’t care and still has the photographs up. Do we smell a hard-core legal battle brewing? We think so!
Tulisa Contostavlos is a pretty huge name over in the U.K. She’s not only a singer-songwriter (as a part of N-Dubz, which split up) and an actress, she is also a judge on The X Factor. So you can imagine what would happen when a sex tape featuring Tulisa makes an appearance on the web. It’s everywhere. The video was posted earlier this week and supposedly featured a blond Tulisa performing a sex act on a male partner recorded on a camera phone. Her lawyers rushed into action and immediately got it taken off the internet, but the damage was already done.
Interestingly enough, after the initial denials by her team of her actually being on the tape, a rather unexpected event has taken place. Tulisa has posted a video on YouTube which is a confession of sorts, as well a response to the sex tape. She talks about how it is, indeed her on it, along with ex-boyfriend Justin Edwards — also known as Ultra — and calls him out for posting the video. It’s a pretty straight-up, interesting monologue, delving a bit into the history of their relationship and how close they were. “As you can imagine, I’m devastated, heartbroken, and I’ve been in bits for the past few days. When you share an intimate moment with someone that you love, that you care about and you trust, you never imagine for one minute that that the footage may at one point be shared with the rest of the U.K. or even people around the world, so as you can imagine, it’s a pretty tough time for me.”
Yesterday, we told you about how there was a Hulk Hogan sex tape in existence and that it was being shopped around. The video features the Hulk — and his “thong-shaped tan line” — with an unidentified naked brunette getting down to business. Now we were hoping that the mystery lady’s details would surface at some point, but it seems we won’t be getting any information, at least from Hogan, about who she is. Not because he’s protecting her privacy. It’s because he just doesn’t remember!
Hogan told TMZ that he went buck wild after he and his ex Linda split up. He revealed that he went on a four month booze-and-sex run during that period, right before he met his current wife Jennifer, saying, “During that time, I don’t even remember people’s names, much less girls.” He was more helpful nailing (sorry, we just had to use at least one pun) the possible time at which the tape was made. He reckons it’s about five years old, because he met Jennifer five years ago and says he hasn’t been with another woman since. But if anyone is planning to make some cash on his escapades, be warned. He will get all Hulk on them, as his lawyer has stated, “If anyone goes forward with this thing, we’re gonna find ‘em and we’re gonna prosecute.”
Where there’s smoke there’s often a …. sex tape. The newest celebrity caught in the snare of an adult film studio is none other than Hulk Hogan. TMZ reports that they’ve seen footage of an actual tape that has the Hulk getting his kit off with a naked brunette who isn’t his ex, Linda, or his current wife, Jennifer McDaniel. So who is this mystery lady? No leads just yet, but we’re sure a name will surface soon enough as the tape is being shopped around. Any buyers, folks?
Apparently, the clip also has Hulk telling his bedmate, “I started to work out again,” and TMZ also makes sure tell us about his thong-shaped tan line. Yes, we actually typed out that sentence right now. As is the case with many-a-celebrity-sex tape, its’s the Vivid Entertainment boss, Steve Hirsch who broke the news as he was the one given the tape by a third party. We wonder how this “third party” got their hands on it? No word from the Hulk’s camp, but hey, we have a feeling that’s about to change.
[Please note that we've tried our level best to keep a straight face and stay professional while reporting this story. Because inside, our brains are melting and our eyes are threatening to pop out. The Hulk Hogan sex tape, guys. The world is not prepared for this. YOU BETTER SAY YOUR PRAYERS AND EAT YOUR VITAMINS!]
Sources are saying — not admitting that the sex tape exists, of course — that if there is a video, it could have been taken when Usher had his car broken into in 2009. It was pretty ridiculous because he reportedly had over $ 1 million worth of booty stolen including electronics (a laptop, natch), jewelry and furs. We still don’t know why he was carrying so much stuff in his car, but that’s rotten luck. FYI: he’s had pretty bad car luck all around because while he was splitting with Tameka, he had to make a call to 911 because she supposedly keyed his ride! Question now is, will there be any takers for this sex tape, and it it really them? We’ll just have to wait and see.
When a porn star tells you somebody is faking it, you sit up and take heed.Ã‚Â And when Jenna Jameson says celebrity sex tapes are nothing much an elaborate sexy ruse, you say, “Girrrrrrrrl!” Tweeted former porn star Jameson, “Why do people do porno tapes, sell them, make boatloads of money, then LIE about being victimized. I know one girl who sold her tape herself.” Girrrrrrrrrrrl!
Okay, we know what you’re thinking: Duh, Detective Jenna. Way to crack the case. But you see, the difference between Jenna Jameson saying a celeb sex tape was faux-leaked and the other 5.99 billion people who say the same thing is that Jenna knows of which she speaks.Ã‚Â Having Jenna Jameson examine a sex tape for authenticity is like calling an expert witness to the stand at a trial. Sure, maybe they weren’t there at the exact moment it happened, but theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve seen enough to know what they’re talking about.
Continues Jameson, “@SOFTBLUSHcom I know one of the girls that acts so prim and proper and sold her tape to get famous. The others I just speculate. I own up to my porn, I don’t cry and say my boyfriend stole it.” Wait, prim and proper? So does Snooki have a sex tape coming out soon? Be still our hearts! Jenna does have a point though. The sad fact is, for most fame-hungry celebs it’s easier to say, “Oh my gosh, someone must have stolen the tape from my computer!” than to say, “Oh my gosh, I am so humiliatingly desperate for attention I’m going to stage a fake divorce from my David the Gnome-looking husband in order to make money off my unsettling Barbie sex tape.”
Either way, Jenna, we’re with you all the way. At least until Snooki actually makes that sex tape, because then all bets are off.