We can only assume you’re still sort of peeved, Jessica Biel. You didn’t arrive at your A-list reception looking like a more athletic version of Barbie in your cotton candy princess dream gown just to watch a video of your husband’s friends kiiiiind of making fun of homeless people. Gawker has a clip of the video in question, a homemade congrats made by Justin Timberlake‘s friend Justin Huchel titled “Greetings from Your Hollywood Friends Who Just Couldn’t Make It.” In it, Huchel films indigent people in Los Angeles as they wish Justin and Jessica good luck with their nuptials. Needless to say, Gawker has already received a letter from Huchel asking them to yank it. Until they do, do yourself a favorite and take a look. Whaaa? Wedding? Why? What?
“Mr. Huchel made [the] video to be used and exhibited privately at Justin Timberlake’s wedding as a private joke without Mr. Timberlake’s knowledge,” Huchel’s lawyer told the site. We guess you could argue that JTimb’s pals were just trying (and failing) to do something clever or original, but come on. You’re going to go around specifically interviewing impoverished and transgender street people, in order to show it at a $6.5 million Italian wedding for the lulz? Read the room, guys! Read Jessica’s flawless clenched jaw and beautiful steely glare while you’re at it. Louis C.K., you ain’t.
Related: How Rude: People Magazine’s Justin Timberlake Wedding Cover Totally Disses Britney Spears
Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel’s Wedding Photos Are Putting Our Minds At Ease
[Photo: Splash Credit]
Some of us have long held the belief that Jessica Biel, whom we’re sure is a lovely person, is kinda responsible for Justin Timberlake’s retreat from music-making in favor of things like acting, repping for MySpace, reciting poetry at golf tournaments and coming out with home decor lines. So those some of us were also slightly sad about the news that the couple finally tied the knot last Friday. But now that the photos of their wedding have come out in People (for which they reportedly received $300,000), we’re starting to feel a little better about things.
First of all, look at the ecstatic expression on Justin’s face. He’s literally jumping for joy. (We hope that’s slightly Photoshopped, ’cause it looks like he’s about to land right on top of Jessica’s breathtaking pink Giambatista Valli Haute Couture gown.) Having been through the whole process myself, I recognize that face as one of happiness that now that he’s made it through the whole courtship and wedding-planning stuff that absolutely takes over your life, he can get on with a whole lot of other creative pursuits.
Good sign #2: He WROTE A SONG for the wedding, and performed it on guitar as Jessica walked down the aisle. “It was an original piece I wrote specifically for the evening and for her,” he told People. Hallelujah!
Okay, we don’t actually know if they are hyphenating their names or not. But how cute would that be, right? Let us live vicariously through their beautiful life choices! After months, nay, years of anticipation, People reports that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have finally wed in a secret ceremony in southern Italy. (One might argue it’s not that secret if we are typing this right now, but that would be super guache.) “It’s great to be married, the ceremony was beautiful and it was so special to be surrounded by our family and friends,” Biel and Timberlake said in a statement. People plans to publish photos of the couple’s nuptials in their issue next Wednesday, and we are already itching to see Jessica’s wedding dress. You just know that thing is going to be sleek. No fifty foot train for this lady!
The couple has been dating for the better part of five years, but we knew the end was nigh when Justin was spotted at his bachelor party in Last Vegas at the end of September. So…how long do we have to wait before forecasting what great butts their children will have? Oh, never because that’s disgusting? Cool, cool. Congrats, you two!
If you are planning a wedding anytime soon, we highly suggest you befriend Questlove immediately. Not only can the guy play the drums for your processional and DJ the reception, he can also apparently photograph the event like a boss, as you can see from the photos he tweeted from last weekend’s wedding of Amber Tamblyn and David Cross. Of course, the fact that the bride wore a stunning, canary-yellow dress; the whole thing went down in the mountains, with the leaves changing; and the guests included a few photogenic folks like America Ferrera, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Jason Ritter, Kristen Schaal and Amy Poehler might have helped him quite a bit.
We absolutely love the Roots drummer for letting us feel like we were there — you can almost hear Yo La Tengo and Mission of Burma playing, live, at the reception. His Instagram essay begins with a pic of a sign that reads “2A Is a No Poop Zone,” explaining: “This weekend I went to the most awesome wedding ever. We had to camp in the woods. This sign greeted me.” We’re not going to ruin the beauty of this with any more words, except to say we’re super excited to see Amber back on the big screen in Django Unchained, and yeah, probably more excited to see David back on Arrested Development in January.
PageSix just apprised us of the fact that Jack Osbourne is getting hitched in Hawaii this weekend to his girlfriend, Lisa Stelly. He may have been off your radar, but this news makes us pretty happy. Jack and Lisa got engaged last year in September, after dating for four months. Less than a month later, Jack revealed that Lisa was pregnant with their first baby — daughter Pearl Clementine, who was born on April 24. Everything seemed to be going great, until Jack dropped a bombshell. He told the NY Post that he had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, saying, “I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, ‘Why now?’ I’ve got a family, and that’s what’s supposed to be the most important thing. While I was waiting for the final results, I got really, really angry. Then I got really sad for about two days, and after that I realized, being angry and upset is not going to do anything at this point — if anything it’s only going to make it worse. ‘Adapt and overcome’ is my new motto.”
Fortunately, in the midst of all of this massive health situation, the happy news of the couple getting married has emerged. A source detailed, “They just sent the invites out and are asking guests to sign non-disclosure agreements.” Jack and Lisa had discussed getting married back in June, when the news of him having MS broke. We’re happy they’re taking the step soon after and wish them all the luck and our congratulations. We can’t wait to hear of his dad, Ozzy‘s, speech at the wedding!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Related: Jack Osbourne Gets Engaged, Ozzy Offers Incomprehensible Statement Of Congrats
Jack Osbourne Is Going To Be A Dad!
Jack Osbourne Diagnosed With Multiple Sclerosis
What a happy, wedding-filled weekend this has been. Anne Hathaway marrying boyfriend, Adam Shulman, may have taken precedence in the news, but let’s not forget the other big nuptial that took place. Kings of Leon member, the exceedingly hot Jared Followill married his girlfriend, model Martha Patterson, on Saturday evening at Front Porch Farms about 40 miles outside of Nashville. He was the last KOL member to walk the aisle and we suspect that female hearts across the globe may be broken at the news. Caleb Followill is married to Victoria’s Secret supermodel Lily Aldridge, Nathan‘s married singer-songwriter Jessie Baylin, and Matthew is married to musician Johanna Bennett. And now Jared completes the quartet! US Weekly says that it was a country themed wedding and quite rustic and that both groom and bride wore Lucchese boots during their wedding. Their outfits were anything but country, though. Martha wore a gown that comprised a lace bodice and a big, tiered, feathered Monique Lhuillier skirt, which you can see in the pictures above tweeted by both Jared and Martha. Jared wore a black Gucci suit, FYI. Some more pretty sweet tweets from the couple let us in on the fact that they had taken the big step. Martha’s tweet read, “Marrying my best friend today. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.” Jared’s message was, “Aaaaaand I’m married. Happiest man in the world.” The more humorous one is the tweet you see right below. Congratulations, you two!
[Photos via Twitter]
Congratulations, Anne Hathaway and Adam Shulman! The actress got married to her jewelry designer-meets-actor boyfriend on Saturday night in a romantic ceremony in Big Sur, California, in a nature-inspired wedding, a source tells People. The celebrations began on Friday night, with a rehearsal dinner at the Ventana Inn & Spa. The wedding, the next day was, as a source revealed, “just friends and family. No movie stars. There were only a few people in the business there, like her stunt double.” We now also know that there was an all-vegan menu (just like their engagement party last year in New York, in February) served, that guests danced to the jazz trio, Americano Social Club, and that there were $100,000 worth of flowers at the venue. Now for the really good stuff: the dress. We knew that it was going to be a Valentino number, as the designer himself confirmed his appointment at the New York City Ballet Fall Gala last week, adding, “She’s a very good friend of mine. She’s like my daughter!” The gown was a gauzy, textured fairy-tale affair with an off-the-shoulder neckline, elaborate train, skirt and veil, the latter which was secured by a 1920s-esque headband. You can see it, and the newlyweds in our gallery below. And again, mazel tov to them!
[Photos: Splash News Online]
As far as timing goes, this Allure October cover of Blake Lively has it nailed. It comes right on the heels of her wedding to Ryan Reynolds. The lady is looking absolutely glorious too, and the cover shoot is all soft and glowing and everything a new bride would want to look like. The interview was done a month and a half ago but her nesting instincts really came out when she was questioned. “I’m a very shy person. I can be outgoing, but I’m also very private, ” Lively says, adding, ” I’ve always wanted a big family.” Kids? Hells yes, she replied, saying, “Oh, I’d love 30 if I could.” The dress she’s wearing in the shot is by Marchesa, FYI. Also fortuitous, because guess who designed her wedding gown — Marchesa! Then there’s the part we’re jealous about. She’s talking about her food habits which totally belie her slender frame. Does she exercise? Diet? Not really. She explains, “I wish I could lie and say that I do something, but …I obviously have plenty of imperfections on my body, but I’d rather have a little bit of cellulite and go do a food trip and try every ice cream place in the South.” South … like South Carolina? We’re making a not-so subtle reference to Charleston, which is where she got married. Nicely done, Allure. Quite a coup!
[Photo via The Hollywood Reporter]
So by now the world has collectively gasped about Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s secret wedding, and we’re all jonesing for it to become not-so-secret. As in, details, please! We were asking the universe and the Dress Gods yesterday to apprise us of her wedding gown, ’cause we all know what a hard-core fashionista and designer darling Blake is. Luckily, the universe, or in this case, People, complied. The details that were released yesterday related that the nuptials took place in Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, just outside of Charleston, South Carolina, that the cake was driven down from Virginia and that Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine performed three songs at the reception.
The new information released is that Martha Stewart’s team was involved along with wedding planner Tara Guérard and they created an “intimate, personalized party” in a rustic barn, which Martha Stewart Weddings describes as, “From the heartfelt ceremony to the fun-filled carnival hour and elegant reception, it was a truly enchanting celebration.” Right, so it was schmancy. The location was picked because, “Ryan, who has been a long-time fan of Charleston, chose to mark this special occasion in one of his favorite towns.” Now check out what Blake wore. While we don’t have photographs, we certainly have a mental picture. People says it was a “one-of-a-kind Marchesa couture bridal ball gown with a hand-draped silk tulle bodice adorned with crystal and rose gold embroidery,” while the bridesmaids wore blush-colored, crystal embroidered, chiffon Marchesa gowns, and everyone wore Christian Louboutin heels! And if you think Ryan was left behind, you’d be dead wrong. He, along with the groomsmen, wore Burberry suits and custom-made leather suspenders designed by Ryan’s pal Christopher Bailey aka Chief Creative Officer responsible for all Burberry’s designs. The rings were by Lorraine Schwartz, FYI. Now we really want to see photographs! Congratulations once again to the newlyweds!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Related: Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Are Married!
What the … that impossibly good looking couple, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are married? Way to foil everyone, guys. We were looking forward to seeing a dress. A big, fancy, dripping-in-couture dress. But then these two upped and got hitched last night at something called the Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, just outside of Charleston in South Carolina. Okay — we’re back on, people. There must’ve been a dress. This wasn’t an elopement! How do we know that? The source who has gived out all the wedding news also reports that Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine, who is pals with Blake, performed a three-song set for the couple, followed by a DJ, at the white tent festooned reception. Apparently, the cake was driven down from Virginia. That must’ve been some pretty special cake. We’e also guessing that the home in Bedford, New York, is where Blake and Ryan are going to nest for good, if the neighbors take it down a notch, that is. Woo! Sneaky marriage, FTW! You know who else Ryan sneakily married, right? Scarlett Johansson. But we won’t speak of past marriages on this happy occasion. We’re going to wish Blake and Ryan all the health and happiness. Their babies will have the best of the human gene pool, thanks to them (we hear snarky voices saying “if they make it that long” but we’re going to ignore them.) Now — that dress, Blake? Pictures, please?
[Photos: Getty Images]