Between Christmas and New Year is a quiet old time in the world of celebrity, as all the rich ones head off to holiday in the Caribbean. Bah. So it was time to revive one of the classic “it will never die” stories and speculate once more on when Brad and Angelina are going to get hitched. According to Britain’s Now magazine, it’s going to be next June, after Maddox piled on the pressure by conducting a cute pretend ceremony for the couple at home. They also reckon…
- It’ll be conducted at their home in New Orleans!
- George Clooney will be chief usher! (WTF?)
- Angie will wear a lace dress that once belonged to her mum Marcheline!
- Brad’s brother Doug will be Best Man!
- The Wonder Twins will be carried by a family member (shock)!
All very lovely, isn’t it? But frankly, even if one of these facts turned out to be true, we’d be extremely surprised. So, we’ll add our own “amazing” predictions to the mix.
- Angelina will look amazing!
- Brad won’t play Jeff Buckley’s Grace during the service like he did when he married Jen!
- Neither Jennifer Aniston, nor Courteney Cox Arquette will be there!
- The photos will sell for a million gazillion dollars!
- Er, that’s it!
Scandalist was all ready to rant about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag‘s alleged nuptials, but amazingly Perez Hilton did it for us. We were a bit suspicious of their elopement after reading all the juicy details in Us Weekly (peep the pages here). For example: Heidi just happened to have a gorgeous, white Balenciaga sundress on hand as well as white Christian Louboutins. Coincidence? Obviously not.
That alone left us skeptical, but then we researched – via the interwebs – what a couple needs to do to get married in Mexico. Speidi claimed they got drunk, decided to wed and an hour later tied the knot. Yet to legitimately marry, the pair apparently needed to complete a marriage application and documents notarized by the Mexican consulate, chest x-rays (gotten in Mexico), and blood test results written in Spanish. At what point during that hour did they do all that?
Perez breaks down the pair’s possible motive – money – for the alleged wedding, and estimates that Us Weekly could have paid them tons of dough for the pics and cover story. He also accuses them of staging their big day so that the rag could put them on the cover of their Thanksgiving issue, which stays on newsstands longer and sells well due to holiday travel. America, it looks like we got punk’d. [Photo: Us Weekly]