I grew up thinking that Chanel was the epitome of elegance that I had to inspire to. The day I bought my first Chanel lipstick, I also bought a cake to celebrate. The day I got my first Chanel bag, I went home and pretty much fainted with joy. Thats the thing about the brand — you think tweed, and pearls and couture that makes the world go round. So when I heard about the do celebrating Chanel Fine Jewelry’s 80th anniversary of the ‘Bijoux De Diamants’ collection in New York City, I knew we were going to hit the fashion jackpot. Instead, we hit the crackpot. But first, the least offending looks. Blake Lively, you are f— gorgeous so what is your deal with bad dresses. I do not understand why she wore something that resembles a night-gown? The dress is from Chanel’s Fall 2012 Couture collection and she wore it with pewter Christian Louboutin pumps. But she still looks amazing right? I keep looking at her face and hair and can’t help but sigh. My big peeve is that satin wrinkles horribly and this outfit has fallen prey to some major creases. As did January Jones‘ gown. Love the red lip and the Chanel braclets, but her black-and-white gown needs a serious iron. Jessica Paré rescued us from creasing hell with a suit that looks tweedy and demure enough to be Chanel’s steez, so thank you Jessica. Anyone else here thinks she could have done something more exciting with hair and makeup?
Now let’s get to the more …. experimental looks. Diane Kruger’s black-and-blue metallic strapless shift is from the Chanel Spring 2013 collection. But it’s ill-fitting and her breasts look like they’re being squeezed to death. No harm in more alterations, guys. Then we get to the crazy that is Rose Byrne. I can’t even. What is that? Three-quarters, sheer, fringes … just, NO, Rose. And Elle Fanning, you are adorable. But you aren’t Amish.
C’mon, Chanel, why you gotta play us like that? Almost five months ago to the day, Chanel released the news that Brad Pitt was going to be starring in their forthcoming campaign for the classic, cult 91-year-old perfume, Chanel No. 5. We couldn’t believe it because this is a women’s perfume, and it really is a pretty forward-thinking decision to have an actor take the helm to shill the fragrance. But the statement said it all, reading, “Chanel has selected world renowned actor Brad Pitt to be the face of the upcoming advertising campaign for Chanel No. 5.” Cue brain exploding. And then it got better. A couple of days ago, WWD informed us that the commercial and print ads were finally going to be unveiled mid-month. We’re almost at the middle of the month! The moment had arrived. The commercial has been shot by director Joe Wright, who also shot this incredibly sexy short film starring KeiraKnightley for Chanel. Andrea d’Avack, the president of Chanel Fragrance & Beauty revealed that, “this dynamic, modern campaign will make people think in a completely different way about No.5.” Of the actual campaign, he said, “It is the first time we’ve had a man speaking about a women’s fragrance. We think very much that the perfume is a seduction between a man, a woman and the perfume …” We know Brad can do seduction supremely well, so we got even more charged up. And THEN, Chanel released a teaser video yesterday, which we clicked on and watched in breathless anticipation. Only to have our bubble burst rudely. Call this a teaser, Chanel? You can’t see his face. It’s seven seconds long. And all it has is Brad’s (gravelly, sexy) voice saying, “Are you going somewhere? Where?” That’s it. That’s all we get. Which is nothing. We’re calling it — lame, lame, LAME.
We haven’t really had anything negative to say about Chanel in the past. We believe it’s bad karma and we’ve had our eye on a Chanel pochette forever. One day, people … one day. We also haven’t had anything negative to say about Miranda Kerr, because, and let’s face it, she’s a goddess and we’re mere mortals. But put Miranda on the Chanel runway at Paris Fashion Week (the show happened yesterday), and we’re definitely interjecting. Let’s just say we’re not completely sold on crystal encrusted eyebrows. Now Alicia Keys, on the other hand, was sitting on the front row at the same show and she did bling right.
We get that some folks may think that the Indian-inspired jeweled mang tikka or headpiece may be a little too much, but we think she looks fantastic. Styling is everything and we love that she kept everything neutral, including her makeup and that slicked-back hair. She also gets points for that sexy, plunging tuxedo top, which, on anyone else, would’ve looked a tad OTT, but is just right on her. So in essence: jeweled headpiece for the win. Crystallized eyebrows … not so much.
Give it up, Ms Lindsay Lohan. We found these photographs of her in Paris absolutely hilarious! She’s there for Fashion Week and we don’t know how she finagled invites, the wily minx! She’s totally dressed to be photographed hanging right outside the Chanel store on the famous Rue Cambon. It’s like she’s screaming, ” PHOTOGRAPH ME DARLING PAPARAZZI!” And then she goes into the next phase of her masterplan — which she clearly thinks no one is in on. She acts like a coy starlet hiding her phase with a delicate package, from the Chanel store, natch. Which is all like, “LEAVE ME ALONE PAPARAZZI, I’M TOO FAMOUS TO BE BOTHERED!” Is anyone buying it? No. Because photographers are her best pals and they need each other like a fondue needs cheese. C’mon Li.Lo! Don’t hurt their feelings!