Cheyne Thomas

by (@hallekiefer)

Miley Cyrus Seen Swimming In Pool, Ergo Must Be Cheating On Fiance Concludes Internet

Miley Cyrus Swims With Assistant Cheyne Thomas

Did you know if you swim in a hotel pool with someone who is not your fiance, you have technically committed adultery with that person? At least if the Internet sees you do it? We’re so sorry you didn’t know! Looks like Miley Cyrus should just throw that sweet Neil Lane rock she got from beloved Liam Hemsworth into the pool filter, because unfortunately the singer was spotted floating around with her assistant Cheyne Thomas in a pool in Miami. We’re so embarrassed; we too have been in so many bodies of water with men we weren’t in a relationship with. We never thought we’d ever type these these words, but…thank god we’re not engaged!

Miley Cyrus Swims With Assistant Cheyne Thomas

We’re kidding, of course. Come on, Internet! There’s got to be a little smooching, or at least some hand holding, before you can start cooking up scandal. That’s like Gossip 101. Miley’s mom Trish even took to Twitter to scold us all for having dirty minds. “So sad that the nasty tabloids have to make up stories to sell their trashy mags. Cant they just leave these 2 alone and let them be happy?,” she raged. Miley later tweeted in agreement, declaring, “I love my fiancé & he loves me. All the rest is bull s—. We get to live a life of happiness no one can take that away from us!” Seriously, Internet, you should be ashamed of yourself.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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