Christopher Gaida

by (@hallekiefer)

Don’t Worry, Julia Roberts! This Red Carpet Escort’s Tell-All Reveals Only The Most Boring Scandals

Celebrity Escort Writes Tell-All

Listen up, everybody. If you write a tell-all in this day and age, you had better bring it. Heck, Kris Jenner wrote a tell-all about herself in which she exposes her own infidelities. If you aren’t exposing someone’s love child or some Mommy Dearest-level insanity in your scandalous memoir, we are not even going to check it out from the library. It’s these high standards that made us so bummed to read about the “secrets” revealed in Christopher Gaida‘s new book Arm Candy: A Celebrity Escort’s Tales From The Red Carpet. Despite having escorted celebs to red-carpet events (entirely platonically, as we were saddened to find out) for fourteen years, some of Giada’s non-revelations include:

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