by (@hallekiefer)

Charlie Sheen Cleared Of Criminal Charges Surrounding Coke-Fueled Hotel Room Trashing


Apparently when Charlie Sheen scoffed “A guy has one bad night and everyone goes insane, panics,” he meant everyone but the NYPD. Earlier today, Charlie Sheen was cleared of criminal charges stemming from that October 25 hotel room trashing, when we all learned more than we wanted to about how Charlie conducts his personal life. Following the incident Sheen’s companion for the evening, porn star Capri Anderson, pressed charges against the actor, alleging that Sheen held her against her will on their room at the Plaza Hotel while on a drug-fueled rant. Or as Charlie might put it, “literally every Monday night.”

Sheen was also not charged at any point with cocaine use or ransacking his hotel room, despite the fact that he did so much of both. Sheen then went back to his role on Two And A Half Men, where he is allowed to interact with a child and be broadcast into millions of decent people’s homes. [Photo: Getty Images]

by (@unclegrambo)

Bruno Mars Busted For Cocaine Possession In Las Vegas

At this point, Bruno Mars is probably best known as the singer of the hook on on B.o.B’s huge hit, “Nothin’ On You.” Well, sadly for him, the Las Vegas Police Department found something on him (get it?) at the Hard Rock Hotel early on Sunday morning. After performing a gig in the hotel, police confronted Mars — real name: Peter Gene Hernandez — in the bathroom and found him in possession of cocaine. And not just a bump or two, either; police claim Mars had 2.6 grams (!) of Bolivian marching powder on his person, more than three times the amount that Paris Hilton was busted with. Judging by the amount of sweat dripping off his forehead in the mugshot above, it seems as if Mars put a pretty good dent in an 8-Ball in a stall before getting pinched by the po-po. Whoops!

We’ll have to wait and see if the Las Vegas court system is as lenient with Mars as they were with the large-footed heiress, but you can bet that his record company is sweating the fallout: Mars was just named as the musical guest for the October 9 episode of Saturday Night Live earlier this morning. Developing!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@unclegrambo)

With A Purse Full Of Cocaine And A Car Full Of Weed (Allegedly), What Was Paris Doing With Albuterol?


As the world knows by now, Paris Hilton had herself quite the Friday night. She was arrested by the Las Vegas police on cocaine possession charges after the cops spotted her and boyfriend Cy Waits hotboxing on the Vegas strip. Whoops!

Well, TMZ is now reporting that prosecutors are planning to charge Paris with possession of a controlled substance as early as this afternoon, a charge that could land her behind bars for four years. According to police, Paris was in possession of 0.8 grams of cocaine — about a quarter of an 8-ball — which is enough to be considered a felony in the great state of Nevada.

However, the police report also notes that in addition to cocaine, marijuana and other drug paraphernalia (Zig Zags!), Paris also had a “broken tablet of Albuterol,” a prescription medication that is normally used to treat wheezing, in her purse. Assuming of course that Paris isn’t a closet asthmatic (Is she? Email us Nicky!), what would she be doing with Albuterol when she’s already high on weed and coke?

Well, according to the internet (always a reputable source!), Albuterol is a stimulant that “raises blood pressure, heart rate and helps the body burn fat.” Ah, we see, it’s a trendy new designer weight loss drug (that will no doubt skyrocket in popularity now that Paris had it in her purse)! Interestingly enough, it is frequently abused by bodybuilders when they’re trying to cut weight before a big event. Is there something you’re not telling us, Paris?

[Photos: Getty Images,]