Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t seem to understand that she’s wayyy more famous that 99.9999999 percent of the humans on this planet. The fact that she still gets super pumped to meet people like Taylor Swift definitely adds to her insanely high levels of likability. She’s just like us, you guys! She totally doesn’t realize that most of these folks are probably even more excited to meet her, and sometimes the results are a little weird. Case in point: The time she fan-girled a little too hard over John Stamos and creeped him out.
Here in the VH1 offices, we’ve been evaluating the judging skills of Britney Spears and Demi Lovato on The X Factor. The consensus so far is that Demi’s being a whole lot nicer than Brit. And we’re not sure if that’s a good thing, when it comes to some of the more awful contestants on the show. We know Demi is a sweetheart to her fans, but she’s also got a quick wit we’d kind of like to see more of. She showed off that sharp tongue of hers on last night’s Conan, only it was directed at Simon Cowell rather than a misguided pop star wannabe.
“We’re trying to reach a younger demographic, and I just don’t think we’re going to accomplish that when he’s showing more cleavage than Britney and I are,” she said when Conan O’Brien asked what she thought of Cowell’s signature wardrobe.
“I’m not showing any cleavage, this is a T-shirt,” Simon protested.
“I’m surprised because normally you could braid your chest hair,” Demi said.
And when Cowell reiterated his previous claim that Demi was “annoying,” she struck right back: “Thanks. You can be a bit of an a–hole, how’s that?”
Ooooh! More, please!
Today has been blissfully free of disturbing Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart news. Radar insists that Kristen has been banned from the Cosmopolis red carpet, but that sounds pretty silly to us, since we’re pretty sure that is the last place on Earth she’d ever want to appear. Instead, we have the above video from last night’s Conan.
“I don’t know if you follow the news at all but there’s this actress, Kristen Stewart, OK. She goes by KStew,” Will Ferrell begins, on the verge of melodramatic tears. “And she had a boyfriend, right? Robert Patterson. He’s RPass. And she cheated on him. And they’re broken up. They’re not going to get back together ever. And what they had was so special, Conan. You don’t even know what they had. They were in love and she just threw it all away. I don’t know if there’s anything I could have done to prevent it. And … I don’t know what it means for the Twilight franchise. I just don’t know.”
“I’m sure it’s going to be fine,” Conan says, attempting to calm his guest.
“It’s not going to be fine! Ever! It’s never going to be fine. What they had was so special. You would never know! … She is a trampire!”
We find it rather funny ourselves, mostly due to our own Robsten fatigue. But what we really want to know is how you fans feel? Are you ready for this kind of comic relief after all the drama? Or do you just feel like this is another blow to the nature of your devotion? Sound off on Twitter or in the comments below.
Big win for Team Coco! Nina Dobrev was on Conan O’Brien‘s show last night, to build up today’s season finale of The Vampire Diaries. We were wondering why she chose to wear a pair of formal shorts for the interview, but as the episode unfolded, we figured out just why. It’s also directly related to why Conan himself said, “Best job in the world!” at the end of the segment. He actually got Nina to get down on her hands and knees to do a super-bendy yoga move called “The Scorpion” on the show!
Nina’s been practicing yoga for years, FYI. Best of all, she had to use Conan as a “human wall” to balance her legs on. And then used his knees to tuck her feet in as she bent them over, reminiscent of a scorpion’s tail. Not only did Conan look like he couldn’t believe his luck, but the expression on guest Joel McHale‘s face was priceless too, especially when Nina’s legs go shooting up. He couldn’t help but exclaim, “This is awesome.” It is awesome, guys, and it’s all in the video above. Her boyfriend, Ian Somerhalder is a lucky, lucky man.
It takes a brave man to speak out about the powers that be, and Ryan Gosling’s Disney cat army story is no different. “I don’t know if this is true or not and I do not want to get sued by Disney,” the stone-faced Drive actor admits to Conan around the 3:30 minute mark. “There’s a belief that Disney has been breeding an army of cats. Yes, and they’re not just ordinary cats. They have a special set of skills. They’re like Commando Cats, and they live in a barracks. A cat barracks.” According to Gosling, the cats are dispatched into the park to to manage the mouse population, though since we didn’t see a red Mickey-shaped laser light appear on Ryan’s forehead, we’re going to go ahead and take this all with a grain of salt.
Because he now knows The Truth, Gosling has a lot of mixed emotions about Disney’s wide-reaching scheme. “The thing that’s so messed-up about it, and why I hate them, is that the whole empire of Disney is built on the back of one mouse,” says Ryan. Well, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes went to Disneyland just this month, so it’ll probably take a few more bizarre Disney conspiracy stories before Eva loses interest. Like, thousands upon thousands of bizarre conspiracy stories.
We smell an SNL Digital Short in the making! This clip of Anne Hathaway rapping on Conan is both horrifying and charming. The One Day actress apparently pens songs when she gets stressed out, and her most recent work is a rap song “in the style of Lil Wayne” about the paparazzi. See, charming — until she opens her mouth and a demon voice emerges. Why didn’t she let this beast out while hosting the Oscars? It would have at least made the show interesting. Terrifying, but interesting.
New mom/God’s masterpieceÃ‚Â Miranda Kerr has been looking so seriously svelt lately that we’d startedÃ‚Â thinking thatÃ‚Â theÃ‚Â whole pregnancy thing was a hoax. But the latest member of the Platinum Super-MILF Club appeared on Conan last night and offered up some intimate details that made us change our tune.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“I had made my mind up that I was going to have a natural birthÃ¢â‚¬Â¦then the doctors said Ã¢â‚¬ËœOk, youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re going to have to be induced because thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not enough fluid for the baby,Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ so I was induced,” she told Conan. “And then, it was 27 hours later with not one drop [of pain medication] because IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d been determined IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d do it.” 27 HOURS YOU GUYS! Think about the worst day you’ve ever had, and then add 3 hours to that!
And it was no walk in the park for husband Orlando Bloom, either. Ã¢â‚¬Å“He was there every moment by my side, I mean I never even let him go to the bathroom. I made him pee in a bottle.” Damn, that’s pretty intense. But after seeing pics of her at yesterday’s Victoria’s Secret Bombshell Summer Edition launch, we realized that we’d happilyÃ‚Â shun plumbing for the rest of our lives if it meant we could be married to her. Check out the gallery below and see what we mean!
[Photo: /Getty Images]
While chatting last night with Conan O’Brien, the Kardashians revealed the ultimate in secret beauty tips: slathering mayonnaise on your vagina! Explained Kourtney, “I told Khloe that I found her sex mask under my bed, that she’s been looking for, and then she wrote me back, ‘Oh my god, I found your jar of mayonnaise that you use on your vagina.’” It just gives it that extra zip! Said Kourtney, “People were like, what does mayonnaise on your vagina do? And we said it makes it shine like the top of the Chrysler Building.” Shine like a beacon of American progress, ladies!
Wet blanket Kim quickly stepped in, complaining, “Talking about putting mayonnaise on your thing is not appropriate,” which is pretty ironic coming from the one Kardashian who has shown her Miracle Whip to the entire world. Eventually the ladies admitted that it had all been one big Twitter-fueled joke. Oh yeah…we totally knew they were kidding. On a totally unrelated note, do you think Costco takes returns? And do you think we can return a half-used drum of Hellmann’s?