Gwyneth Paltrow overrating the world’s interest in her extracurricular activities? No. According to Page Six, a record deal for Paltrow with Atlantic Records has fallen through, possibly over how much money she’d have taken home. “Atlantic bosses were very interested,” said their source. “But then the talks halted and the deal fizzled out. There was a rumor that Paltrow wanted $1 million to sign, but that is a ridiculous figure. Atlantic is still interested in signing her.” Says her rep, “[Gwyneth] still has not decided if she wants to record an album…”it is still something she is considering.”
There’s always the possibility that, with a cookbook, a newsletter, two children and…oh yeah, an acting career, Gwynnie simply didn’t want to bother with recording an album unless she was certain to reap a decent payday. After all, the Country Strong soundtrack failed to go gold despite the Oscar nomination, and Paltrow’s singles only scrapped Billboard’s Country Singles chart (her duet with Tim McGraw only hit #35)…while Sara Evans‘ single from the album hit #1. Looks like hardcore GOOPsters will have to settle for Glee-related collaborations and talk show renditions of “Gangsta Gangsta” for the near future.
Country Strong is the female Crazy Heart: a once-successful country crooner hits the bottle, destroys relationships and then sings their way to redemption. But from what we can gather from the Country Strong trailer, that film is more about the pressures of success and fame and competing with Leighton Meester than Crazy Heart was. The film’s writer and director, Shana Feste, says that she based Gwyneth Paltrow‘s substance-abusing country star on Britney Spears and Michael Jackson, whose death occurred as she was finishing her screenplay.
Feste says, “We build these artists and celebrate them, then at the first sign of weakness, we rally around their downfall. Then we want to build them back up for a comeback. How difficult to live life like that in public.” She drew from real-life performers in order to “present these characters as messy, complicated and conflicted.” And despite drawing from Britney’s life, there’s no sign of Kevin Federline anywhere in Country Strong, unfortunately. Country Strong is in theaters tomorrow.
After just a couple short months together, it’s already being reported that Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift want to move in together.Ã‚Â First, let’s once again note that in the real, non-Hollywood world, it’s actually slightly creepy/predatory for a thirty year old man to date a twenty-one-year-old girl, isn’t it? Not that we think Jakey is a predator; it’s just one more example of Hollywood life having different rules from real life. Second, not everyone has matchmaker Gwyneth Paltrow serving as their own personal eHarmony compatibility test—yet another example of “Stars! They’re Just (So Very Not) Like Us!”
When asked about her role in the hook-up, Gwyneth explained “I’ve just known Jake for a long time and he’s a great guy, and Chris [Martin] has a friendship with Taylor.” The pair reportedly met at a dinner party at the Paltrow-Martin residence on November 13.Ã‚Â “It’s so weird,” she said. “I wonder how people find out these things. It was a while ago, so I don’t know why it would come out today.” Here’s something even weirder: a country-tastic clip for Paltrow’s new movie, Country Strong wherein Gwynnie sings a song called “Shake That Thing” and yeesh…it’s rough. Check it out after the jump.
People Magazine reports today thatGwyneth Paltrow had to gain twenty pounds to play the role of washed-up, alcoholic country star Kelly Canter in the upcoming film Country Strong. Of course that meant an interview with Paltrow’s notorious trainer Tracy Anderson, who had to sit idly while her star pupil self-destructed with bucket after bucket of fried chicken. Anderson, who whipped Paltrow into shape for Iron Man, said “It was frustrating for me, but they wanted her to gain.”
But then of course, Anderson says that Paltrow dropped the weight immediately after filming wrapped just by resuming her normal exercise routine. People annoyingly writes “She didn’t even need to kick it up a notch.” Well of course she didn’t, she’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She farts rainbows and loses weight just by thinking smug, cleanse-y thoughts. Here’s the thing though: The photos above show Gwyneth in the film (at left), where she is supposed to be 20 lbs. heavier. The photo on the right is Gwyneth at the film’s premiere last night, post weight-loss. Pretty hard to tell which photo is supposed to be “fat” Gwyneth. In fact, “fat” Gwyneth is still skinnier than anyone we know in real life. And hey, what kind of “fat” country star was she supposed to emulate anyway? Obese Faith Hill? Enormous Carrie Underwood? None of this makes any sense. Especially since, if they really wanted her to pack on the pounds, they could have just gotten Gwyneth’s Shallow Hal fat suit out of storage.
Have you seen the trailer for Country Strong yet, the new movie where Gwyneth Paltrow tries to convincingly portray a drunk country singer? Y’all, we have been watching it constantly this morning, partly because we’re fascinated by her accent, and partly because it’s so full of cliches we’ve been busy trying to count them all. Join us, won’t you, in bullet-pointing the predictable and cringey plot-points of this future cult classic. The one thing it has going for it is at least now when we think of Gwyneth singing, her duet of “Cruisin'” won’t be the only thing we think of anymore.
0:15 Country music star Kelly Canter is released from rehab after a bout of drunk and disorderly conduct. Hey, will she relapse, only to find redemption? I wonder!
0:32 Introduction of Kelly’s new, young rival and tourmate, Chiles Stanton played by Leighton Meester. Oh, honey Chiles. She’s the prom queen who idolizes Kelly, which can only mean she goes All About Eve on her ass.
1:13 Kelly’s back on the sauce! Kelly’s back on the sauce! Too much pressure! Too many rivalries! A cute and wise new bandmate! It’s a lot to process. In other news, do any other country singers you know have such defined abs and wear so many diamonds? That’s the Tracy Anderson/Harry Winston effect.
1:19 Punches are thrown between the wise young bandmate and Kelly’s husband! Drunk Kelly collapses in tears because she knows she’s a shell of her former self! Is she going to write a number one song like Bad Blake in Crazy Heart, or try to prove herself to her loved ones like Johnny Cash in Walk The Line? What form will her redemption take??
1:24 “This is Kelly’s last opportunity to turn things around!” says Kelly’s husband/manager Tim McGraw. Of course it is.
1:29 Wait, are they hoboes, riding a train like that? Please let there be hobo flashbacks!
1:37 You just had to bring a children’s cancer ward into this, didn’t you?
1:38 Kelly rises like a phoenix/back-lit American Idol contestant to strum her guitar in front of flags and cars to prove the old girl’s still got it.
1:59 Wait, now she’s doing a jig onstage that doesn’t match the rhythm of this song. Who edited this?
2:04 Leighton Meester shows us how it’s done with the coy-smile-turned-laugh-in-the-credits moment.
2:14 “The first time I heard you sing, I thought, that must be what angels sound like,” said Tim McGraw, who has been reading too many Nicholas Sparks novels.
2:23 Kelly tells Chiles “That’s how it’s done sweetheart,” and she and her wig walk offstage, leaving Chiles to simmer in her cowboy boots an metallic dress.
2:29 The crowd chants “Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!” and we realize that they are a metaphor for all of her relationships and that everything is going to be all right.
In her latest film, Country Strong, Gwyneth Paltrow plays a country singer who leaves rehab to reclaim her former glory, with help from her husband, played by Tim McGraw. Which begs the question: Reeeeeeeeeeeeally? Gwyneth Paltrow? Replace “rehab” with “kombucha detox” and “former glory” with “organic chamomile eye pillow” and maybe we’ll talk. Unless it’s a movie version of Green Acres with Paltrow playing Zsa Zsa Gabor while wearing marabou-lined silk robes and falling over a pig into the mud, we can’t really picture her living the country life. However, we would watch that Green Acres five times in the theater, so maybe this is a step in the right direction.
Whether or not Gwyneth was the right person for the role (seriously, was Sandra Bullock too booked to knock this one out of the park?), she does have a significant pair of pipes on her, as she proves by belting out the title song. Now, call us a Negative Nancy if you will, but this whole movie seems to be a cheap ploy designed to profit off Gwyneth’s epic film Duets, in which, according to IMDB, “A professional karaoke hustler reconnects with his daughter and a bored suburban businessman turns outlaw karaoke singer, among other plotlines.” Among other plotlines! While snubbed by the Academy, Duets experienced huge success in the 13-Year-Old Girls Who Can Only Get Movies Out From the Library demographic, due in large part to Paltrow’s vocal stylings on “Cruising,” her duet with Huey Lewis.
We hope that her new movie surprises us by being palatable, and if not, we will write that Green Acres script this weekend if anyone wants to make it.
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