Crimes

by (@hallekiefer)

Harry Potter Actor Arrested For Making Bomb, Growing Weed

Vincent Crabbe, noooooo! E! is reporting on Harry Potter actor Jamie Waylett’s arrest and while we don’t want to immediately blame Voldemort, this crime has his scaly fingerprints all over it. Known to most as Draco Malfoy’s dopey henchman, Waylett was arrested for possessing a petrol bomb on August 8, 2011 during the London riots, in addition to, um, well, growing 15 marijuana plants in his bedroom. But clearly some malicious wizard must have put them there! If only we were still able to practice law, we could represent him in court!

Unfortunately this isn’t Waylett’s first arrest. After facing pot charges in 2009, his character was written out of Harry Potter And The Dealthy Hallows: Part 2. Just goes to show that some can’t resist the dark side. At least Waylett won’t have to destroy The Boy Who Lived in order to assume control of the wizarding world. Because that seems like it would definitely be a felony.

by (@hallekiefer)

Brad Pitt’s World War Z Gets Raided By SWAT Team Over Illegal Guns

If we didn’t know better, we’d think this was a news story concocted just to make Brad Pitt’s World War Z movie seem more awesome. Just kidding; what could be more awesome than a zombie apocalypse movie? Literally nothing. Us Weekly reported today that the Moneyball star’s latest movie got raided in Budapest by a SWAT team, after word got out that the production was receiving functional firearms for use on-camera. Oh, also the movie has Brad Pitt in it, which is why all the agents were squealing and giggling when they stormed in.

Hungary’s Anti-Terrorism Unit allegedly removed 85 fully functional guns, which included “automatic, military-style assault rifles” from the film’s warehouse. “We can confirm that weapons were confiscated at an airport,” said unit director Hajdu Janos and deputy director Zsolt Bodnar, adding, “Guns like these are highly illegal to transport even if they were to used as stage guns, which hopefully they weren’t.” We’re sure the extras are relieved at least. Terrifying zombie makeup plus workable firearms sounds like a recipe for disaster.

by (@hallekiefer)

The Game Accused Of Starting Flash Mob With Twitter Prank

After the stunt he pulled on Friday, The Game is officially making your high jinks look weak.  The Game’s Twitter prank began when the rapper tweeted for his 580,000 Twitter followers to call a certain number if they were interested in an internship. Turns out, that number was actually for the Compton station of the L.A. Country Sheriff’s Department, which almost certainly does not have that many internships available. “This is an unusual case and therefore an unusual investigation,” said Captain Mike Parker said today, after hundreds of calls flooded the station’s help line for three hours. “Our primary concern is public safety for this incident as well as for the future.” Plus, what about those people who seriously wanted that internship? Fan not not appreciate getting their resumes punked, The!

Unfortunately, just like the time you and your friends burned a giant penis into the football field, officials are trying to see if they can bring charges against The Game for the prank. “Y’all can track a tweet down but cant solve murders ! Dat was an accident but maybe now yall can actually do yall job,” The Game tweeted indignantly after taking the number down, later joking “I can see it now: “What u in 4 homie.. robbery. What about u dog… Murder. Aye… What u in here 4 game… (Pokes Chest Out) A TWEET” !!!” You know what they say: It’s better to let 1,000 guilty Twitter users tweet free, than to let one innocent man Reply At in jail.

by (@hallekiefer)

Amy Winehouse’s Apartment Burglarized

Because people are awful jerks, apparently Amy Winehouse’s apartment got robbed, less than three weeks after the singer’s passing. Amy’s father Mitch Winehouse reported two lyric books missing to police, in addition to “unreleased recordings, letters and a guitar belonging to his daughter” that he believes were snatched from the North London home following Amy Winehouse’s death, because, we’re assuming, the circumstances surrounding her death weren’t sad enough to begin with.

“Mitch is livid. The family, record label and management are months away from deciding what to do with any unreleased music,” a source told Britain’s The Sun. “Mitch is willing to give whoever has stolen the items a chance to do the right thing and put them back so it doesn’t have to get messy.” While Papa Winehouse reportedly believes an acquaintance of his daughter’s may be the thief, no suspects have been named. The fact that Amy isn’t here to write a pissed-out bluesy song about it is the worst part of all.

by (@hallekiefer)

Jake Gyllenhaal Goes Method For Movie By Rushing To The Scene Of A Shooting

Jake Gyllenhaal is getting a lot more hard-core recently, from battling the elements with Bear Grylls on Man vs Wild, to rushing in a cop car to the scene of a shooting in L.A. “Jake is doing research for End of Watch and has been amazed by the professionalism of the LAPD,” his publicist told E! Reportedly Gyllenhaal and co-star Michael Pena were riding with officer Tami Bauman last night as part of their preparation for the upcoming cop drama. Once a call came in reporting the incident, the officer had to rush to the scene with the actors in tow. See, stories this bad-ass are enough to make you forget Bubble Boy ever happened. No, seriously, everybody. Let’s forget it ever happened.

By the time the group arrived, the suspects had fled. The victim had to be hospitalized, but as of earlier today he was in stable condition after having suffering graze wounds to the lip and arm. We can only assume today Gyllenhaal is in the process of stalking the city in hot pursuit of the shooter, all under the umbrella of “research.” There is a Batman reboot coming up in a few years, after all. They could do a lot worse.

[Photo: [

by (@hallekiefer)

Katt Williams’ Bodyguard Guns Down Family’s Dog


The Katt Williams crazy train is making all stops across the Continental U.S. this summer, and everyone’s invited! Just whatever you do, do not bring your pets. Allegedly Katt Williams’ bodyguard shot a dog at a Jack-in-the-Box in Arizona; a German Shepard named Lester, the pooch pulled lose from his owner and bit the security detail, who reacted in just about the worst way possible. Even more bizarrely, after apologizing, Katt returned from his tour bus with a Mastiff puppy and attempted to give it to the horrified family. “Katt Williams came outside and told us that he [the bodyguard] will be fired immediately,” the family told TMZ. “We are devastated right now.” So, worst random celebrity sighting ever, yes?

The incident closely follows Katt Williams’ arrest for felony intimidation of a witness after blocking the escape route of a maintenance worker who was being pelted with rocks earlier this June, an encounter that looks a friendly handshake in comparison. According to the maintenance worker’s 911 call, Williams has a bizarrely high opinion of himself, reporting, “The guy claims to be the second most important black guy on the face of the earth.” If Katt can get arrested once a month, carry around puppies in case someone in his entourage murders a pet, and still come out as running up, we would love to hear a detailed explanation of who, exactly, is the first. Don’t worry; we’ll wait.

by (@hallekiefer)

Lindsay’s Headed To The Coroner (For Her Community Service)

This is basically the plot of Lindsay Lohan‘s next movie, right? Franco, are you behind this? Don’t worry; our favorite jailbird isn’t dead. She’ll just wish she was when she has to trade in her high-waisted couture pants for some embalming-fluid-stained coveralls, ’cause Lindsay Lohan’s community service is at the coroner’s office! After the judge found Lindsay guilty of violating probation Friday, in addition to four months in jail she was sentenced to 120 hours of community service at the L.A. County Department of Coroner’s office, where she’ll no doubt be bored stiff…and our screenplay has it’s title.

“She’ll be doing basic janitorial work,” Coroner Assistant Chief Ed Winter says. “She won’t be handling any dead bodies but she’ll certainly see them.” Certainly! This isn’t the first time Lindsay has mingled with the recently departed; the staff got to see her undoubtedly smiling face after Lohan’s drunk driving violation in 2007. Lohan will also have to complete 360 hours of service at the Downtown Women’s Center in L.A, where she’ll no doubt feel….at home…well, we have more time to work on that one. 360 hours in fact!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Mel Gibson Allegedly Facing Charges For Domestic Abuse

If this news surprises you at all, we have one million bridges we’d like to sell you. Allegedly Mel Gibson will face criminal charges for domestic abuse, unless his lawyer can successfully intervene on his behalf. According to RadarOnline, prosecutors met with Gibson’s attorney Blair Berk yesterday in a last-ditch attempt to head of charges of domestic violence/corporal injury, which could be prosecuted as a felony or misdemeanor. Sources close to the case, however, say the wheels are already in motion. “The District Attorney has a very strong case, there is a lot of information that the public and Mel Gibson are unaware that the DA has,” an insider revealed, making the only thing shocking thing about this news is why it didn’t happen months ago.

As of this afternoon, District Attorney Steve Cooley says the case is “actively in review,” but has not decided whether charges will be brought. In case you can’t remember which parts of the eternal ballad of Mel were illegal rather than just morally repugnant, the charges would stem from Gibson’s admission that he slapped ex Oksana Grigorieva, which she remembers as a much more brutal attack. Guess all those threatening phone calls were just a freebie! The news comes just days after officials at the SXSW Film Festival announced The Beaver will premiere there in March. Looks like Mel will get out just in time to shoot the sequel. Or if we luck out, never.

by (@hallekiefer)

Edward Furlong Jailed For Violating Restraining Order

That picture is how our brains felt when we heard that Edward Furlong was jailed for violating a restraining order today. The Terminator 2 actor was in court this morning for a processing hearing when a judge found that he had violated his probation by coming within 50 yards of his estranged wife Rachel Kneeland. Furlong had be ordered to stay away from his wife in November after driving repeatedly past her house, threatening suicide and refusing a drug test. The two have a three-year-old son Ethan, who luckily is too young to access the internet and witness his dad’s most-recent run in with the law.

The actor just narrowly stayed out of prison for the Green Hornet premiere last night, joining co-stars Seth Rogen and Cameron Diaz in L.A. for the event. After the judge made his ruling, Furlong was cuffed around 11:30 a.m and held with bail set at $75,000. We’re sure he’ll will be out in no time, and we approve of Rogen busting out the Green Hornet costume if Furlong doesn’t immediately head straight home.

by (@hallekiefer)

T.I. Says Prison Is Making Him “Smarter,” Drops Album From Behind Bars

tigetty

We were angry about our student loans before; we’re furious now that T.I. says prison is making him smarter. And we’re over here getting our master’s degree, like a chump! “The longer I sit, the smarter I get,” the rapper wrote in a letter posted to T.I.’s website. Despite the whole jail thing, T.I. is starting to look like a brainiac to us. Not only is he releasing an album while incarcerated, he also snagged such monster guests as Kanye West, Kid Cudi and Christina Aguilera. Says T.I.,”It does’nt [sic] matter how long it’ll be before the next time you see me. What matters is that I’ll be a better man before that time comes.” As of now T.I. has only served 2 of his 11-month sentence. So think what a genius he’ll be by next summer!

Not that jail time has been easy, of course. In response to his fans’ well-wishes, T.I. asks, “How do you tell God Almighty that all you wanna do is LIVE LIFE ???  What if all you wanna do is be a father to your kids, a husband to your wife, and son to your mother.” We guess…don’t carry around drugs? Or illegal guns? Or violate your probation for said guns by possessing drugs? Really, any of those seem like an excellent place to start. [Photo: Getty Images]