Cycle of Lies

by (@hallekiefer)

J.J. Abrams Says Bradley Cooper In Talks For Lance Amstrong Biopic, Forgets To Tell Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper Denes J.J. Abrams Claim He Is Interested In Lance Armstrong Biopic

Well, this is embarrassing. No, we’re not referring to our scrapbook of wedding plans for our fantasy Bradley Cooper wedding. You know we spent a lot of time and effort on that. We’re referring to producer/director J.J. Abram‘s awkward casting rumor gaffe. It all began when the Star Trek director claimed Bradley Cooper was psyched to potentially play Lance Armstrong in the film based on the upcoming book Cycle of Lies: The Fall Of Lance Armstrong. “[Cooper] sent me an email and we’ve been talking,” Abrams told Entertainment Tonight. Seemed reasonable enough (both Lance and Bradley have a similar intensity and devastating cheekbones), until we found out that J.J. hadn’t…actually…mentioned to Bradley that he was supposed to be interested. Man, this is just like when we sent out the invites to our wedding to Bradley Cooper with out technically meeting him first. We feel you, J.J.!

Considering how quickly the movie rumor mill churns, it’s kind of surprising stuff like this doesn’t happen more often. Seeing as how Abrams directed Cooper in Alias in the earlier ’00s, J.J. was probably just getting everyone psyched for Bradley’s potential role in the film and he forgot to play one important call. “Oh my god, that’s so nuts!” the Silver Linings Playbook star clarified to Access Hollywood about the rumors of his involvement. “I was in Manchester, doing the BBC morning show… I had no idea what [the interviewer] was talking about. I didn’t even know that J.J. has the rights, I had no idea. I don’t know anything about it.” Oh, maybe J.J. got one of those Google bot emails from Bradley’s account and just assumed he was in to play Lance? That seems like a reasonable assumption, right?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Of Course There Is A Lance Armstrong Movie Already Being Made! Of Course We Had To Cast It!

Lance Armstrong Movie In Production

We’re betting the second Lance Armstrong agreed to do that revealing Oprah interview this week, a million Hollywood execs shed a single tear, knowing there could be only one Lance Armstrong cheating scandal movie. According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures and producer JJ Abrams beat them all to the punch, closing the deal on the filmmaking rights to the proposal for Cycle of Lies: The Fall Of Lance Armstrong, a book to be written by sports reporter Juliet Macur. That’s right: they bought the proposal to a book that has not yet been written. Now we want to shed a single tear over how genius that is.

Since it’ll be a little while before shooting starts, we have plenty of time to pitch potential actors to play America’s Most Hated Athlete (You’re welcome, Manti Te’o!). As for who should play his ex Sheryl Crow…um, obviously it should be Sheryl Crow herself. Wouldn’t you love to star in your ex’s downfall story? Meanwhile, we’d love to see Sheryl across from…

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