Where do we even begin? To say that last night’s makeout sesh between Snooki and Deena on Jersey Shore was a trainwreck is a pretty apt description, especially considering that episode eventually ended with Snooki crashing into an Italian cop car. America’s favorite meatballs (and Italy’s least favorite meatballs) are at it again, but this time, it’s with each other. Literally. Check out our gallery to witness Deena and Nicole go at it at the club, the car, the house, and their room, with the grand finale being their reactions when their roommates clued them in about the events of the night before. As Sammi Sweetheart would say, “Not a good look.”
Look, we know it’s the VMAs and that’s celebrity code for ‘dress like a million dollar acid trip.’ But even the usual WTFers outdid themselves this time, adding accessories that only accentuated the absurdity of their already ridiculous outfits. Katy Perry completed her candy geisha look with an umbrella. Nicki Minaj wore a face mask AND an ice cream cone necklace AND lugged around a bizarre stuffed animal purse. Jersey Shore Deena matched her eyes with her dress. And then there was Justin Bieber, who carried around a tiny snake in his hand the whole night. And no, that’s not a euphemism for anything, you pervs. They guy accessorized with a real live snake. We’re sure PETA’s gonna have a little something to say about that tomorrow!
From Deena’s colored contacts to Jessie J‘s sparkle crutches, there’s something for everyone to gag at in our Worst Dressed gallery below! Better luck next year, guys.
(It’s that time of year again! Welcome to TheFABlife Bikini Awards, where we pit half-naked celebs against each other and you vote for the finest skin-flaunter of the summer of 2011.)
Voting is now closed. Thanks for participating!
MTV and VH1 sure knows how to pick ‘em, eh? All the gorgeous ladies in our Reality Junkies category have done a stint on one — or both — of the networks. Whether they’re on the Shore or in Malibu, these women know how to werk it. But who’s the finest — Whitney Port, Heidi Montag, Deena Cortese or Audrina Patridge?
The camera makes us do strange things. Alcohol makes us do strange things. Combine the two, and you have the Jersey Shore. The photo on the left is of Sammi Sweetheart Giancola and Deena Nicole Cortese doing their thing in Florence, Italy where the show is being taped. Naturally, footage of them walking around shopping ain’t going to get ratings right? So Deena Nicole — as evidenced by the photo on the right — decided to climb off the side of a huge bridge. Because the laws of gravity do not apply to the Jersey Shore guys. What goes up, can’t go splat!
Long story short, Deena and the Florentine bridge were not amici with each other. Big bridge, little Deena. She couldn’t get back up and, after dangling dangerously off the side, had to be pulled up by security and Sammi. Apparently, shots of them drinking aren’t going to be permitted while they’re shooting in the country. So they obviously needed something stupid enough to replace Snooki and gang slurring through an episode. This is it. Brilliant television, guys, really.
[Photos: Splash News Online]
When Jersey Shore’s Sammi said her new cast member Deena Cortese was “exactly like Snooki,” she was not joking around. In fact, the clips we’ve seen so far made us sort of worried that Deena, Snooki’s friend IRL, might be so Snickerfied that our girl Snooki’s original spark could be lost under twice the amount of bronzer. As the Jersey Shore season premiere nears, we couldn’t help but note that the Jersey stars similarities include:
- Approximately Cabbage Patch Doll-height in inches
- Color of tan best described as “Well-Used Basketball”
- Deena is as smush-crazy as Snooki, if not more so. As Deena explained to Life & Style, “The most guys I’ve hooked up with in one night is probably three,” the use of the word “probably” implying to us that she might not exactly know what her highest number is. “People consider me a man-eater. I don’t really like dating, though. Dates can be so awkward!”
- Deena has already showed “her goods” to The Situation, as she explained to VH1.com this morning, further following in Snooki’s footsteps. Well, and the footsteps of every girl on the Eastern Seaboard.