Dina Lohan

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Where In The World Is Cody Lohan?

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The Lohan family is famous for dragging their kids into the spotlight (as evidenced on the show Living Lohan and also everything else they’ve ever done), so there’s something that’s been concerning us lately. Where the hell is their youngest child Cody? Dina and Ali Lohan have been in California visiting Lindsay in rehab, papa Michael is busy retooling (haha, tooling) his song for Lindsay, and eldest son Michael, Jr. is 22 and old enough to be living on his own, so we’re not worried about him. It’s one thing if they have, for once, been sheltering Cody from the media and actually using good judgment with regard to his upbringing, but that’s just so unlike them.

The picture above, of Cody attending school on Long Island in November 2009 is the most recent one we could find. And if we are to believe that this is Cody’s MySpace page, at least we have evidence that he’s alive and well (and communicating with Ali and Dina solely through the internet – the comments section on the site are priceless). So is Cody making a concerted effort to avoid the spotlight? Does he just not want to go on rehab runs to visit Lindsay? Or is he hitching a ride home on the Long Island Expressway as we speak because someone forgot him at the airport? We may never know.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

Dina Lohan’s Pissed Because Lindsay’s Being Treated Like Any Other Inmate

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Let’s all get together and tell Dina Lohan what jail is about. Momma Lohan has her knickers in a twist because her incarcerated daughter Lindsay Lohan is being treated like “a common criminal.”

Let’s repeat slowly: She’s.In.Jail.With all this talk about Li.Lo getting special treatment in the slammer, Dina’s concerns have nothing to do with star service. She doesn’t have a pillow and ” doesn’t have cell phone privileges, that’s absurd.”  Dina added, “I talk to her through glass. There’s a phone and we put her on speaker, but I can’t even hug my daughter.” That’s just ludicrous, right?

Dina, listen to us. She’s in JAIL. She’s going to be treated like an inmate. We should be grateful that she graciously admitted that the “service” at the correctional centre  has been passable saying, “I have to say that the people inside have been pretty cool to her…the guards and the inmates.”

We don’t know why because Star magazine reports that Lindsay’s been driving everyone crazy. A released inmate griped about how Linds’ list of demands are…loud. She explained, “The other day Lindsay was freaking out because she wanted another blanket. She kept yelling out, ‘Hello! I asked for a blanket like two hours ago! I’m getting sick!’ It went on for hours.” Another source said that she’s been hollering for bottled water. Repeatedly. And a fan. Again, repeatedly. She got neither. Because, as we’ve been trying to tell Dina… for the last time… she’s in jail.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

The Lohans Are The Roaches Of Reality TV – They Will Not Die

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We’re going to see a lot more of Lindsay Lohan – apart from her portraying Linda Lovelace, that is. Lindsay, her mom Dina, sister Ali and other siblings will be appearing in a new reality show. The show will be all about the cameras following them around while they go about their daily lives, Keeping-up-with-the-Lohans style.

Dina revealed, “We have already started filming. The cameras follow us in our daily lives and as we promote our businesses. I want to prove that we are a good, hardworking family and we don’t have the crazy lives that some people claim we do. The show will feature my kids, and Lindsay will also appear in some episodes, although she’s very busy filming and promoting her fashion lines. We’re discussing a deal with a major network.” It goes without saying that dad Michael Lohan isn’t part of the show. Uh, obviously.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Carvel Accuses Lohan Family Of Abusing Ice Cream Privileges

Dina, Lindsay and Ali Lohan

Remember Dina Lohan‘s feud with a Carvel Ice Cream store yesterday? Carvel has issued a statement accusing the Lohan family of abusing their “black” card, which does provide 75 years of free ice cream, but only $25 worth a week, and only if Lindsay or Ali is there to collect.

As part of Carvel’s 75th Anniversary celebration last year, we issued 75 Black Cards to celebrities. These cards were issued in the celebrity’s name and require the card holder to be present at the time of use…Unfortunately, the Lohan family has been abusing the card. While the card was issued in Lindsay and Ali’s names only, her extended family has repeatedly used the card without either present. At first, we graciously honored their requests while explaining that the Black Card was not a carte blanche for unlimited Carvel Ice Cream for the extended Lohan family and friends. After more than six months of numerous and large orders for ice cream, we finally had to cut off the card and take it back.

Dina Lohan reacted badly and called the police to have her card returned. The police responded and did return the card to Dina with instructions not to use it again. This is an unfortunate situation where certain people feel entitled to use a celebrity’s name for their own purposes. We regret that the Lohan family is upset and hope this matter is put behind us quickly.

While Dina claimed that the cops were called on her, the mad mama’s claim that a helicopter took part in the stand-off more than suggests she’s an unreliable narrator. Hey, Deen-deen, looks like you do not “get treated so much worse than regular people” after all. See, regular people don’t get $25 worth of free ice cream for the rest of their lives, and they certainly don’t try to take their daughter’s. Don’t make us forget that Michael’s even crazier, ok?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Cops Called On Dina Lohan For Using Daughter Ali’s Ice Cream Card

We don’t make a practice of sympathizing with Dina Lohan, but it sounds like her treatment at a Carvel Ice Cream store on Long Island really did take the cake (hiyo!). Lindsay Lohan‘s mama was trying to pick up an ice cream cake for her son Cody‘s 14th birthday, which she planned to pay for with her “black” Carvel card (allegedly allowing you free ice cream for 75 years!) when the clerk noticed the card was Ali Lohan’s. That’s when shit got real. “The shop assistant said, ‘Do you have I.D.?’” Dina told Radar Online. “Next minute he he grabbed my arm and took my card and held it hostage and wouldn’t give me the cake! This guy was crazy!…Next minute, four cop cars showed up, there’s a police helicopter over head and this guy makes it seem to the cops that I’m trying to use a stolen credit card—and for what? Over a free ice cream?!” While it’s possible a helicopter was involved, we should remind you that this story is being told by Dina Lohan.

Sadly, neither a gunfight nor the sale of an ice cream cake followed. “He wouldn’t give [my card] back…not even to the cops!” she continued. “Finally he gave up and gave me my card back. But he told me, ‘You can have the card, but you can’t have the cake!’ It just shows how we get treated so much worse than regular people.” Actually, regular people who try to use Ali Lohan’s “black” Carvel card probably get shot in the face. “Just wait until Lindsay and Ali hear about this,” she said (sadly, Lindsay has yet to comment). “When Ali gets back, I’m going to bring her in everyday to this store — and you can print that!” We will, Dina. We all will.

[Photo: .com]

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Dina Denies Lindsay’s Broke: “She Designs Everything From Soup To Nuts”

Dina & Lindsay Lohan

Don’t believe the hype, y’all! Lindsay Lohan‘s totally on top of her money sitch—or at least whoever she’s paying to take care of that totally must be. Dina Lohan recently cleared the air about LiLo’s rumored debts in an interview with Radar Online. “She is not going into credit card debt. Absolutely not. And her business managers…I actually am in contact with them every day. And you know Lindsay will spend money but she has people that run what she does. We had another manager that we’ve now moved. We kind of cleaned house and we have somebody else who…I mean everyone was great but we just needed to clean house and start over. So Lindsay doesn’t really pay her bills. Someone else does, so they wouldn’t let her do that.” To recap, Lindsay buys what she wants but the people who “run what she does” are in charge of paying her bills. And the new people doing that are sooo much better. Trust Dina.

“And in the interim, you know, a bill may be a little late or not, you know, but that’s pretty normal. That happens to me, that happens to everyone,” said the self-alleged everymom. “Lindsay isn’t in charge of her finances, other people are and we are keeping a close eye on the people who are managing her.” And with Dina watching the people watching Lindsay, what could go wrong? Besides, with Lindsay designing “everything from soup to nuts” (“She just signed a deal with a hand bag company…and it’s flourishing”), it’s not like LiLo needs a film career to survive, right? Right?

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Lindsay Lohan’s Parents Feud After Press Conference

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Michael Lohan staged a “press conference” yesterday afternoon, repeating his regular refrain that 1) daughter Lindsay Lohan is abusing drugs, 2) she’s being coddled by “enablers” and 3) if she won’t willingly go to rehab, he’ll do whatever it takes to make her go. “Extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures,” he said. “I’ve tried every way possible to reach out to my daughter…If Lindsay won’t sit down privately, my attorneys and I will take other measures. I just hope Lindsay is accommodating. Lindsay needs a private setting where she can detox and get individual and family therapy. That’s the program I have in place. It’s here on Long Island. I’m sick and tired of all the nonsense.”

Unsurprisingly, Dina Lohan wasn’t moved by her abusive ex-husband’s pleas. “”I have a criminal protective order against him ’til 2011. He’s 1 year behind in child support and he’s using [Lindsay] as a diversion,” she told TMZ. Lindsay is in good hands. Everything is fine. He’s trashing a child he doesn’t even see.” “Anyone else have a father that sells fake stories on them for money & dates a girl that works for tabloids? And has never paid child support?” tweeted Lindsay earlier this week. “Don’t even go there,” threatened Michael in response. “The way u and ur friends think is like a civil war compared to a nuclear one.” This conference may only be the first of many bombings to come.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Lindsay Lohan Lashes Out At Father As Parents Fight Over Secret Tapes

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Looks like that pay-off plan didn’t work out. Lindsay Lohan and mother Dina are resorting to legal threats and twitter screeds as Michael Lohan plans to air phone messages Dina left on his answering machine concerning Lindsay’s drug abuse. On Friday, Lindsay posted a 5-tweet rant while en route to Morocco for a Halloween resort opening.

My father is a lunatic&doesn’t even deserve such a title since he’s never been around in my life other than when he’d threaten me&my family/ He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars. Its so sad to get/ A phone call from my baby sister just now asking, “why is daddy doing this?” Through tears. He’s crossed the lines&hurt me&my family 4 the/ the last time…. So much for having a ‘dad’….. I’m going to spend some time with the ones that love me&i love now. I appreciate those who/ Continue to support me. My fans keep me strong&i love you all so much for it! My second family is what you are to me. Happy hallow’s eve! :)

If her language wasn’t harsh enough, Dina tells the New York Post her ex will receive a cease-and-desist letter regarding the phone messages. “He is hurting Lindsay. It breaks my heart,” she said. “She’s like, ‘Mommy, when is he ever going to stop?’ He is also six months behind in his child support. On Monday, we will file a violation order, and if he doesn’t pay, he’ll go to jail. He’s getting paid for these shows he’s doing talking about Lindsay…and not paying for his other three children he’s hurting every time he goes on television.” She also claims daughter Ali will join Lindsay in seeking a restraining order against Michael.

But will their threats just piss Michael off even more? “I wasn’t going to let people hear Dina’s drunken rants about Lindsay,” he tells Radar Online, “and I certainly wasn’t going to let people hear anything about Lindsay, but now that Dina and Lindsay continue to lie and deny their problems, and even make stories about me, now you will see and hear Lindsay’s calls and texts.” Sounds like this drama is far from over.

[Photo: Gettty Images]

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Lindsay Vs. Michael Lohan: The Final Pay-Off?

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The Chicago Sun-Times reports that Lindsay Lohan and mother Dina are looking to get father Michael off their backs once and for all, with a pay-off that will “finally will shut Michael up and keep him out of the press and out of their lives forever,” according to their source. But with Michael planning to play phone messages from Dina about Lindsay’s drug dependency on Entertainment Tonight Monday, they’ve got their work cut out for them.

“I’m not that optimistic,” said the Lohan insider. “Michael is such a loose cannon, and I don’t think they could ever raise enough money to keep him quiet—especially since he’s become so bitter and is so obsessed with Lindsay.” Between his date with Mary Hart and his threats to kidnap Lindsay, it does seem like Dad is past the point of no return.

[Photo: Getty Images]