Just when the world thought she was going to stay clean (yeah, us neither ) Lindsay Lohan is headed back to the clink. Judge Elton Fox just issued an arrest warrant for Lindsay Lohan following a failed drug test last week. Lindsay acknowledged she hasn’t been keeping her nose clean on Friday, tweeting, “Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week as a result..” We’re sure Lindsay will do much better in jail, where there are no illegal drugs at all, just laughter and sunshine milk. Right? RIGHT?
But with every cocaine-filled cloud there comes a silver lining…made out of money! While she might be getting stripped searched as we speak, Lindsay just settled her E*Trade lawsuit for an amount that reportedly left her “very happy”. Imagine how much met….we mean, how much clean sober living Lindsay can afford now! The suit was over an E*Trade Super Bowl commercial that featured a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay, which Lohan, and everyone who has ever heard of Lohan, claimed was an obvious riff on the star’s trouble with substance abuse. We hope the promise of all that E*Trade money helps Lindsay sleep at night, though we doubt those prison cots are particular good for getting shut-eye. [Photo: Getty Images]