He’s not wasting any time is he? Now that Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are divorced, it’s time to get on with business for him. You know…to start pursuing all his other interests. Play the field while playing some golf, so to speak.
Ergo, Tiger has splurged on a new bachelor pad in downtown Manhattan. And he’s already moved in, as of last weekend. It seems he’s making himself quite at home too, because apparently, witnesses have already spotted him “introducing himself as the new neighbor.” Yes Tiger, like you need an introduction. Wonder who he was introducing himself to? And was she a blond, brunette or redhead?
Did you hear that? That’s the sound of Rachel Uchitel rushing to New York.
Elin Nordegren has had a rough year but remained silent throughout her entire complicated separation from Tiger Woods. Now that their divorce is final, though, she has granted People Magazine an exclusive interview which she says will be her first and only public discussion of her personal life.
Nordegren tells People “I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children.” But what about the details we’ve been dying to know about? How was she so obvlivious to all of Tiger’s cheating? What about the Thanksgiving car accident? Details, girlfriend! Well, she delivers, albeit very diplomatically.
Of the cheating, she explains “I’m so embarrassed that I never suspected – not a one. For the past 3 1/2 years, when all this was going on, I was home a lot more with pregnancies, then the children and my school.” (Nordegren has been in college working toward a degree in physchology.) And hitting Tiger’s car with a golf club? “There was never any violence inside or outside our home,” she says. “The speculation that I would have used a golf club to hit him is just truly ridiculous.” The magazine and full interview come out on Friday.
And while she doesn’t get into specifics, Nordegren just has this to say about her settlement “Money can’t buy happiness or put my family back together.” But it can get you the hell out of Orlando, girl. Take that money and run.
A statement on tigerwoods.com reads “Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods confirmed today that they have divorced. Judgment was entered today in Bay County (Florida) Circuit Court dissolving the marriage. The Judgment provides for shared parenting of their two children.” The statement continues “We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future. While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us.”
We’re glad, for Elin and the childrens’ sake, that this ordeal, which began last Thanksgiving, is over and they can get on with their life as private citizens. We only wish that Rachel Uchitel and the rest of Tiger’s harem would follow their lead.
Elin Nordegren probably didn’t see this one coming either. Her divorce settlement from Tiger Woods is the largest sum that has ever been awarded in a celebrity divorce. Elin’s getting $750 MILLION from the divorce, with a precept that Tiger can’t bring his various girlfriends near the children as well. The only time he can introduce a woman to his children is if he’s planning to put a ring on it ! Ummm, we think he’s probably not going to re-marry for a while at least. Ladies who are allowed around the kids are married women not romantically linked to Woods and female staff members with whom Elin is familiar.
But there’s a reason why she’s getting such a monumental payout. In return, Elin can never speak about his flings with his 17-or-more ladies out in public. A source revealed, “Elin is desperate to protect the children from the womanizing side of their father. Tiger’s main fear is her telling her story after he’s rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter.”
Elin’s lawyers have really gone for the kill here, getting her way more than she originally thought she was worth. But is it worth it for Elin if she can never have her say? They’ve literally put a gag order on her for the rest of her life, a friend explained. “Elin’s legal team have done a great job digging up all sorts of assets. The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life – even if Tiger dies first – or she’ll lose the lot.”
Looks like she’s okay to stay mum because all systems are go. The friend added, “Everything’s signed. Elin is ready to file for divorce at Orlando County Court. She expects to in the next seven days.”
Tiger’s making sure he doesn’t lose out on time with the kids. The deal is that Nordegren gets sole physical custody but they will split legal custody, so Nordegren can’t up and leave without consulting Tiger, who will be allowed to see the kids for half of every week. The custody agreement will be negotiable in five years, and the source revealed, “Elin admits that despite everything, Tiger loves his kids and has been a decent dad. She is confident he will not pursue seeing the children that much, due to his work and lifestyle.”
So, that’s that. Tiger was a complete pig, but who knew Elin could be such a shark?
She’s been gone while, but is now back in her Orlando home, and apparently she’s considering a reunion with Tiger. Not that kinda reunion. They’re still completely estranged, but their daughter, Sam, turns 3 on Friday and Elin may fly to California so Sam can see her papa while he’s playing in the U.S Open. Whether she’ll go or the nannies will go is still being decided. A source revealed, “She hasn’t decided yet. It’s not like she’s dying to see Tiger. But she doesn’t want to keep Sam away from him on her birthday, either.”
Now, Tiger’s lawyers have accused Elin’s legal team of leaking information to the press. White Jr sent another email out to his staff on April 19. 2010 warning them, “Recently we have been accused by the other side of leaking information to the press. While we do not believe that anyone in the firm has been responsible for the leaks, we are aware that this is the second time that we have been so accused … ” He went on further to add, “avoid conversations relating to firm activities in public …” Wait for the repercussions because we’re sure there are going to be major ones.
It’s finally going down! While Tiger Woodsis partying at Nickelback concerts in Orlando, Florida, Elin‘s in Stockholm, Sweden remodeling her home so it’s ready for her kids. An insider source says, “It’s a 100% happening. Elin and her Mom met with a lawyer before they went to Sweden.” And that wasn’t all that was said. The source went on to reveal, “Elin and the kids are out there visiting with [Elin's] family in Stockholm. She is definitely planning on spending a lot of time there — they are gutting it. She and the kids are going to be spending most of the summer there. Without Tiger.”
About the divorce itself, the word was, “It’s going to take a long time to go through. [But] she will go through with it. She is all about being a mom. She will do it slowly and carefully.” It’s about time Elin took some action and made Tiger squirm.
You weren’t the only person who thought that Nike ad with Tiger’s dad was in poor taste. People reports that Elin Nordegren is “violently angry” over the clip, and thaaat much closer to seeking a divorce. “Elin was violently angry over this commercial and thought it was a cheesy thing to do,” says their source. “She wouldn’t have gone near the Masters under any condition, but that just made her madder. She is over Tiger.”
This might explain why Elin split Florida without the kids to visit her mom in Arizona while Woods was still wrapping up his stint at the Masters. Unless he leaves golf again and heads back to sex rehab, it doesn’t seem like she’s going to buy his apologies any longer. “”She’s so far beyond hurt now. If she were angry or if she hated him, they might still have a chance to work it out. But she’s beyond that. She’s numb. She just doesn’t care anymore.” Get your office pool ready for their divorce announcement, folks—we sure are!
Tiger Woods may be aching to get his career back on track, holding a press conference in Augusta, Georgia yesterday as he practices for The Masters, but one woman has yet to forgive him for his trespasses. Oh, we’re not talking about wife Elin Nordegren, we mean porn star Joslyn James, who held another “post-Tiger press conference” press conference to again portray herself as a woman scorned, dismissing his regrets as “malarkey.” “He’s still a big, fat liar” she told reporters in NYC, joined by lawyer Gloria Allred. Even after she published his sexy texts on her “iBone,” James still wants that apology!
“I don’t think the press should let him move on,” said Allred. “He has to contact Joslyn and apologize for lying to her…any time Elin wants to contact Joslyn, she can do so through my office. Joslyn would like to talk with her, and I think they should do so to set the record straight.” And really, who could provide better closure for Elin than the woman who shared with the public Tiger’s desires “to make her sore” and now plans to strip in Atlanta during the nearby Masters. “I’ve got some really, really great costumes I’m really excited about,” she told the Daily News. Maybe she could put Elin on the guest list!
Tiger Woods is sorry for all that sex he had with random women. At least that’s what the golfer said in televised interviews with ESPN and the Golf Channel yesterday, in which he apologized once again for bedding a small village but also remained tight-lipped on the details of what went down between he and wife Elin Nordegren. Surely this is all part of a well-planned PR blitz before Tiger returns to golf at the Masters in April, and we commend Tiger for his Daytime Emmy-worthy performance. But don’t forget: this is still the dude who text messaged porn star Joslyn James about golden showers. Yeah, Tiger’s probably sorry, but he’s probably also still curious about urine-based foreplay.