Only Tom Hanks could drop a filthy f-bomb on Good Morning America and have us find him more endearing. Maybe it’s that mustache? It’s very sweet in a dad way, very Mr. Belvedere on a long weekend. Maybe it’s because we know Hanks was trying to get into character to demonstrate his Cloud Atlas accent for host Elizabeth Vargas? “I want people to buy my f—ing…” Hanks growls. No, it’s because T. Hanks claps his hand over his mouth and bugs his eyes like a scandalized seven-year-old when he realizes his blunder. Don’t worry, Tom! We’ve heard (and seen) worse on-air celebrity gaffes. 10 of them, to be precise!
Oh Axl Rose, how the mighty have fallen. Headfirst onto their hands with an embarrassing stumble, if the video of Rose’s concert faceplant in Hellfast, France is to be believed. Seeing Axl flail to keep his balance got us thinking about our favorite awkward concert moments, which include everyone from Taylor Swift to Lady Gaga, and everything from wardrobe malfunctions to slippery piano benches to getting kicked in the head by a gyrating fan. We hope you got a cat scan after that, Usher! After you watch Axl bite it hard, check out our other favorite awkward concert moments after the jump. Oh man, and you can hear everyone laughing on his video! That is the sweetest plum. The sweetest, most horrible plum:
Chris Klein made his claim to fame in the late ’90s as a clear-skinned goof-hunk in movies like American Pie and, um, Rollerball. Now the American Reunion star is peeling back the layers of his squeaky-clean image to reveal the messy human goop underneath. “I would have died, and I think about that every single day,” the actor tells People about his struggle with alcoholism, a battle which landed him in rehab in 2010 following a DUI. “It got to the point where I was a fragile shadow of the young man that came into this business. Today, I’m the luckiest guy alive.”
While Klein has tackled plenty of demons in his journey to sobriety, the continual thorn in his side has to be the hilariously cringe-worthy audition tape he made for Mamma Mia! “I thought to myself, Wow, did I piss somebody off? Or maybe it was too good of an opportunity to pass up,” Klein joked with HuffPo about the leaked footage of his sweaty, wild-eyed performance. “I don’t know why I was in there. But I took a chance! It’s a musical — let’s see if I can give it a shot. And, you know, the way that they put it out there, it gets taken out of context and all that kind of thing. It was really a dreadful audition.” Be strong, Chris. You survived being in Rollerball, after all. You got this.
Matt Lauer could barely suppress his gleeful guffaws this morning on the Today show while discussing the Zac Efron condom-drop incident. Then again, how often do you hear celebs talk about safe sex? Just about never? If they have to giggle behind their hands in order to do it, then chuckle away, fellas! “I never had a pocket-checking policy prior to going onto the red carpet before, but now we fully instated one!” a blushing Efron said about his faux pas at The Lorax premiere. He even teased Lauer about uttering the c-word (“condom,” people): “It was really hard for you to say!” Matt then made an incredibly dumb joke about Zac’s “production company.” Jeez, it’s like we’re taking high school sex ed all over again. Except now all our classmates are grown men wearing HD makeup!
That being said, if something so snicker-inducing had to happen at a film premiere, we’re glad it was The Lorax. The entire movie is about being responsible, and what’s more responsible than preventing the spread of STDs? Just about nothing? “It’s a great message to add to the many messages in the film!” Zac joked. We’re sure if the Lorax had been drawn with genitals, he would completely agree.
Planes: the famous person’s natural enemy. What is about cruising at 30,000 feet that makes celebrities want to get rip-roaring drunk, start a screaming match and/or pee on the floor? Is it the change in air pressure? The overwhelming number of options in SkyMall? Or, are celebs always doing crazy stuff and a plane is just the one place where their P.R. team can’t hustle them away when things go south? Big & Rich’s John Rich was yanked from a Southwest flight yesterday after the singer started a drunken argument with fellow passengers before boarding, and remained too visibly inebriated to fly once on the plane. “Our crew assessed the situation and determined that the passenger was not fit for travel under governing federal aviation regulations,” Southwest’s rep says in a statement. Did we mention the flight was at 10:50 a.m.? Just to remind John that he’s in good company, here are seven of our favorite celebrities vs. plane stories, in order of increasing insanity:
7) Brooke Mueller: News that Charlie Sheen’s former spouse got removed (or removed herself) from a flight from L.A. to Cancun this past summer, after flight attendants refused to let her use the bathroom during takeoff, is sadly one of the more normal things we’ve heard that Brooke has done this year.
There’s a lot of potentially humiliating stuff going on in Ryan Gosling‘s Breaker High, the Canadian sitcom that helped launch the Drive actor’s career in 1997, back when he was just a hunky teen. Between Ryan’s faux-Brooklyn accent, the insanely flamboyant hockey coach, and the fact that the show revolved around a high school located on a cruise ship, it’d be understandable if Ryan wanted to toss all copies of this show into the Atlantic and never look back. But really, is it any worse than any other early embarrassing celeb role? From Jack Black to Jennifer Aniston to Renee Zellweger, plenty of A-listers have had to take some Z-list roles when they were starting out. If you had to chose one from our humiliating list (and you do!), which cringe-worthy part do you think is the most regrettable?
We love it when celebrities do exactly what we would do at a fancy event, i.e. loudly joke about wetting themselves. At the opening of the Venice Film Festival yesterday, director Darren Aronofsky joked with George Clooney about the bladder malfunction he had in Clooney’s exact chair last year. “Let’s just say you should be happy this building has been refurbished,” joked festival judge Aronofsky. “I peed in my pants.” We imagine the 12-piece orchestra screeched to a halt as soon as he got to the word “pants.” The red carpet must have been littered with broken monocles.
ClooneyÃ‚Â happened to be occupying the seat of honor as director of his new film The Ides of March, the same chair Aronofsky had claimed as director of Black Swan last summer. Continued Aronfsky, “But they say the place has been redone, so I guess any humidity you feel there is your own.” How dare you, sir! If the seat of anyone’s tuxedo is wet, you can be sure it is just splash back from George Clooney’s boating adventures! And, okay, maybe just the smallest amount of pee. Those boats go startlingly fast!
We all had our fun with the Gerard Depardieu’s airplane incident, mainly because in our heart of hearts we suspected A-listers of doing stuff like this all the time without us finding out about it. We’ve never ridden a plane with Gwyneth Paltrow, is all we’re saying. However, if Depardieu’s travel companion Edouard Baer is to be believed we’re going to want to wipe off all those zingers we made about Gerard’s bladder malfunction. Says fellow actor Baer, “He has prostate problems and it was very worrying and humiliating for him. He was also stone-cold sober at the time. This is not the way he usually behaves.” Yeah, we’re pretty sure if this was the way Gerard Depardieu usually behaved we would have heard about it by now.
According Baer’s statement, Gerard Depardieu’s peeing incident happened after the actor’s medical problems forced him to pee into a bottle after being denied access to the restroom. Once the bottle was fullÃ¢â‚¬Â¦well, there weren’t a lot of other good option after that; those barf bags are still just bags! “Gerard was upset at this and offered to clean up the mess,” his friend told the BBC. We sure hope Baer actually had permission to reveal all these intimate details, or else let’s pray he doesn’t have an unsoiled rug that ties the whole room together.