by (@missmuttoo)

Shakira Releases The First Photograph Of Her Burgeoning Baby Bump

Shakira Posts First Photograph Of Her Baby Bump

We’ve been so excited with the news of Shakira‘s pregnancy. We can’t wait to see her little bebé because you know she or he is going to be ridiculously adorable. It’s not just Shakira‘s genes, it’s also her gorgeous boyfriend, soccer player Gerard Pique‘s, genes. This baby is all set! The singer announced her pregnancy with a letter on her website, saying, “As some of you may know, Gerard and I are very happy awaiting the arrival of our first baby! At this time we have decided to give priority to this unique moment in our lives and postpone all the promotional activities planned over the next few days.” This obviously started the watch for the baby bump, and the wait is over, thanks to Shaki herself. She posted a photograph on her Facebook page, wearing a cute purple sundress that very clearly showed off the bump! The caption for the picture read, “Now I don’t have a six pack, only one pack!!” We can’t wait to see the rest of her maternity wardrobe — you  know she’s only going to get lovelier. Now, if only whoever took this picture had better camera skillz because while we’re happy to get a shot of her, we wish it had been clearer and not so granulated! 

[Photo via Facebook]

Related: Shakira Announces That She’s Pregnant, Will Drop Out Of Music Festival

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Rihanna Posts A Bikini Malfunction On Facebook

Rihanna has been very generous in sharing her vacation photos on Facebook, and in making us realize how much our lives all suck compared to hers. The singer’s FB albums have become almost as anticipated as her music albums, in no small part because they feature her bikini-clad self in glorious locations, drinking some fantastical tropical drink concoction under the warm Caribbean sun. It makes us feel kinda insecure about our vending machine coffee.

Riri’s latest vacay swimsuit extravaganza (from her Hawaii trip in January) dropped last night, and it’s easily her hottest yet. She surfs (in a bikini)! She swims (in a bikini)! She lies down (in a bikini)! Then she mixes it up and ditches the bikini for some skinny dipping under a waterfall. It’s like an R-Rated Bob Ross painting! What’s more, she even posted a bikini-centric wardrobe malfunction (NSFW), which occurred while she was spraying her body with tanning oil for the cameras. Innocent accident, or…not so much? We’re not sure, but Mark Zuckerberg’s gonna be pissed. Check out her 30 hottest new vacation pics in the gallery below!

View Photo Gallery

[Photo: Facebook]

by (@hallekiefer)

As If You Needed 19 More Reasons To Loathe Jesse James

Kat Von D has never been particularly private about her relationship with ex-fiance and consummate bad boy Jesse James. Turns out, neither has Jesse James! In a very different, more horrible way! “Today I encountered the 19th girl to add to the list of people Jesse cheated on me with during this last year,” the former reality star wrote in a blistering Facebook rant yesterday. Ugh, we wish we could grab Kat by her ink-covered shoulders and tell her to Not. Even. Waste. Her. Time. Since we can’t, instead we’ve compiled the 19 reasons no one on this beautiful blue planet ever should date Jesse James. You’d think the world wouldn’t need a list like this, but hey … let’s keep it from hitting 20, shall we?

19. That beard.
18. If Kat Von D’s upcoming album is anything like we imagine, there will be reasons not to date him set to music, emitting from your computer speakers.
17. Whimpered about how he felt “beaten up by the media” for um, you know, all those horrible, embarrassing things he did.
16. Got a book deal out of the whole thing, published American Outlaw.
15. Told Howard Stern that sex with Kat was “100 percent better” than with Sandra Bullock. Does he not know we can all hear the words coming out of his mouth?
14. Oh right, cheated on America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock in the most painfully public way possible. She barely got to enjoy her Best Actress Oscar last year!
13. Photos of Jesse James in Nazi regalia are floating around the Internet, and you know your mom would find those! Or someone else’s mom! Or anyone!
12. Bombshell McGee, the woman with whom Jesse cheated on Sandra Bullock. That’s all we’ll say about that.
11. Actually, no it’s not. Bombshell McGee had racist and Nazi tattoos, too! The woman had a swastika near her lady business! It’s like we’re taking crazy pills here!
10. Even bombshell McGee didn’t think Jesse’s engagement to Kat D was a good idea, and she thinks horrible ideas are good ideas!
9. Has sold stuff for way more than it’s worth on eBay because of his notoriety, which just does not seem fair at all.
8. Morally tainted our enjoyment of Monster Garage reruns.
7. Allegedly called his marriage to Sandy a “sham.”
6. Allegedly had a foursome when Bullock was out of town promoting The Proposal. We can’t even.
5. Got defended by Whoopi Goldberg in the press, and you know she only defends the gross guys. Mel Gibson? Roman Polanski?
4.,3. and 2. That hair.
1. He is a 20-time cheater! And that’s just the number of women we’ve heard about! Isn’t that reason enough?

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Courtney Stodden Banned From Facebook For Being Too Sexy/Creepy

It looks like Facebook defriended Courtney Stodden. The social networking site  apparently banned the seventeen year old for posting “inappropriate sexual content” on her page. The peeps at Facebook seem to have gotten “sexual” confused with “creepy”, but we still agree with the end result. However, not everyone feels that way. Her mother (of all people) is speaking out against the ban, saying that she was cool with the racy pix. But then again this is the same woman who signed off on letting Courtney marry 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchinson. Just sayin’.

“There is nothing on her page you wouldn’t find anywhere on Facebook!” her mom told E! News. “She has never done any nudity. Not a breast, not even a butt cheek. It’s just her in a bathing suit!” She claims that the real reason is that we’re all just jealous of her daughter’s underage hotness. “It’s the jealousy from the women towards her. The men love her, the women hate her. The women report the photo because it’s so easy to do. You just click a button.” She even suspects a massive female conspiracy to keep her child’s semi nude body from reaching a wider audience. “They think she’s too sexy, they all report her together, and it’s done.”

Amazingly, Facebook reps heard her mother’s complaints and reinstated Courtney’s privileges late this afternoon.”This page was removed in error and has been restored,” Facebook said in a statement. “We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.” Perverts all over the world silently accepted the apology.

[Photo: Facebook]

by (@missmuttoo)

Megan Fox’s New Job Is A Pool-Side Breeze

This is rather different from her treatment on the Transformers set, from which she was ignominiously fired thanks to her various tiffs with director, Michael Bay. Megan Fox posted a new photo on her Facebook page showing her in a radically changed set. The movie she’s involved in is a Judd Apatow flick called This is 40, and is reportedly a spin-off of Knocked Up. Megan has a small role in the movie which also stars Apatow’s wife, Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd. Also, Jason Segel and Chris O’Dowd who the actress is seen posing with in a pool.

The happy trio posed between takes for the shot and Megan wrote, “On set of This Is 40 with Jason and Chris…Two very handsome, very tall, VERY funny men.” Good to know she’s having a blast and not fighting with her director this time. Her co-stars seem to be on pretty sweet terms with her as well. Leslie Mann told MTV in a recent interview, “Megan Fox is so funny. She’s hilarious. You wouldn’t, I don’t know if other people expect it, but I think she is really funny. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.” We’re going to withhold judgement on that one, but we’re happy to see Meggy looking so relaxed!

[Photo via Megan Fox’s Facebook Page]

by (@missmuttoo)

Sneaky David Beckham Snaps A Shot Of Pregnant Posh

Guess who’s going to be sleeping on the couch for the next week? David Beckham snapped a super pregnant Victoria Beckham stealthily as she sunbathed yesterday. Not that she doesn’t know of the picture by now because he posted it up on his official Facebook page! It’s an artsy black-and-white shot that looks more like an ad campaign then a candid, but it does show just how big Vicky B’s got! He captioned the photograph with, “Took this pic of Victoria while she wasn’t looking. She looks amazing, so close now to the baby being born!” He’s smart one, that David. Flattery will get you out of trouble! She does look amazing though, doesn’t she?

[Photo via David Beckham’s Official Facebook Page]

by (@missmuttoo)

Megan Fox Shows Us Things You Can’t Do If You Have Botox!

Megan Fox shut down all Botox rumors about herself for good yesterday! In what we think is a pretty hilarious move, Megan uploaded an album on her official Facebook page called “Things You Can’t Do With Your Face When You Have Botox.” She then proceeded to scrunch that gorgeous mug of hers up to show *gaspohnoNOway*… wrinkles! Remember when Teri Hatcher did the same, wrapped in a towel of all things! On a side note — are Meg’s eyes really that blue? ‘Cause they’re just dreamy! Folks, just accept the fact that some people are just weirdly genetically gifted like that. Case closed. Although, we bet that pout of hers is going to start a collagen debate now!

[Photo via Megan Fox’s Facebook Page]

by (@hallekiefer)

Soulja Boy Claims Facebook Hacker Left All Those Offensive Posts

For those of you wondering if you can ever quietly sing “Pretty Boy Swag” to yourself in the mirror again and have it feel as good as it used to, it turns out Soulja Boy’s Facebook account was hacked. Allegedly. “I wanted to clear the air and let everyone know that my Facebook got hacked,” the rapper told TMZ after a host of borderline racist, potentially homophobic rants appeared on his Wall this weekend. “I had administrators on my account that no longer work with me. The hackers used these old accounts to post hateful messages.  This was not done by me or anyone on my team and I’m upset that I am being labeled as a racist and homophobic person.” Man, those hackers sure do love Soulja Boy for people who no longer work for him…

What were assumed to be Soulja Boy’s rants have since been deleted, but screen caps of the diatribe show that it was aimed at commenters leaving insulting posts, and was the kind of thing that you pray your mother never stumbles upon online. For example, there’s this gem: “I’m gonna keep talking s— to these white f—–s until they unlike my page. f—-ing weirdo stalkers!” Wait a minute…what are the chances this is exactly what happened to Tracy Morgan‘s Teleprompter? We’ll get you, hackers, if it’s the last thing we do!

by (@hallekiefer)

The 21st Century Welcomes Gwyneth Paltrow’s Twitter And Facebook

Gwyneth Paltrow on WhoSay

When you spend your days weaving yarn made from your own Angora goats on a hand-made loom, or cooking paella in an antique iron skillet deep within the forest primeval, it can be easy to forget about all the benefits of modern technology. For example…um…being able to immediately complain about the American Idol finale to everyone you know? Luckily Gwyneth Paltrow has finally caught up with our current forms of social media, and she’s diving in, monocle-first. Gwyneth Paltrow’s Twitter so far only has one tweet (as does Gwyneth Paltrow’s Facebook account), but fortunately it contains video of the giddy Paltrow announcing her arrival in the present day. We’re glad that nasty carpal tunnel she picked up while personally writing GOOP with a peacock quill pen and freshly-made cochineal ink has cleared up enough for her to use a keyboard. The Gywneth Paltrow video also claims the actress is attempting to hail a cab, but we’re pretty sure we can hear her ox-drawn cart clip-clopping along off-camera.