[Full disclosure before I start this post: I know the authors of Beautiful Bastard, I like them very much and I’m pumped to read this book.]
Yes, another Twilight fan fiction story will be making the leap from the web to the shelves of your local independent book seller (and, sigh, Barnes & Noble) on February 12, 2013. But don’t dismiss Beautiful Bastard as the next 50 Shades of Grey just yet. The original erotic fanfic, titled The Office, penned by Christina Hobbs in 2009, preceded E.L. James‘ red room of inner goddess-ness. According to University of Utah professor Anne Jamison, the story was revolutionary in the world of Twilight fanfic writing. She told The Hollywood Reporter that it “paved the way for Fifty Shades and a thousand other imitators. It turned fanfiction’s “porn without plot” into porn as plot, peopling Twilight‘s basic plot structure with sexually voracious, assertive and snarky adults.”
(Side note: A professor who lectures about fanfic? Sign me up for that class.)
If Harry Potter erotic fan fiction is your thing, then this post is for you. If listening to Ralph Fiennes dramatically read Voldemort/Harry slash fiction out loud while wearing adorable pajamas is your thing, then maybe the Secret really does work. What other explanation could there possibly be for something so delightfully specific? And filthy?
Stopping by Andy Cohen‘s Watch What’s Happening Live on Bravo last night, the Harry Potter and the Dealthy Hallows: Part 2 villain was cajoled into reading some erotic fiction starring none other than He Who Cannot Be Named himself. Not having a nose or a sense of morality has never been so hot! “How is it possible that the touch of this evil man could feel so wickedly good?” Fiennes reads. We’ll let you listen to rest of the NSFW video yourself since it’s sort of scandalous. Though extremely fictional! And about fictional characters! Man, we thought our crush on Ralph Fiennes could never get any bigger. Or…um…our crush on Voldemort. We are so ashamed.
Elizabeth Reaser stopped by VH1’s Big Morning Buzz Live this morning and offered up this titillating reading of some Twilight fan fiction. She’s not the first Twi-star to visit the lusty work of fan fic; Michael Sheen performed a piece from Savage7289’s Unexpected Circumstances last month. Got a favorite fan fic you want to recommend? Hit us up in the comments — you never know who might stop by next!
Yes, this is Michael Sheen reading Twilight fan fiction on VH1’s Big Morning Buzz. We know — it is totally amazing. The Midnight in Paris actor was super cool and down to do anything when he visited the set…including a very serious dramatic reading of one of the most popular Twilight fan fics out there: Savage7289’s Unexpected Circumstances. Aro is king! Edward is a knight! A temperamental, hunky knight. ON A HORSE. Isabella is a serf-turned-wife of Edward. Why buy another supernatural young adult fiction book again when we can just read about Edward and Bella living in a castle?
Enjoy Sheen’s dramatic reading and then kick back, grab a bottle of Pinot (Noir or Grigio, readers’ choice) and read Unexpected Circumstances. We’re only in Chapter 2 but we have a feeling Bella and Sir Edward are gonna do it. (Eventually. We hope. Do they have headboards in medieval times?)
[Author shout out: Savage7289 on Twitter/Blog]