Fashion WTF

by (@hallekiefer)

Brian Wilson’s Spandex Tuxedo Takes The Prize At The 2011 ESPY Awards

In case you thought there was at least one red carpet where celebrities don’t compete to be the bigger diva, Brian Wilson’s ESPY Award onesie proves you so, so terribly wrong. “I have a seal skin tuxedo suit with the orange — very appropriate — bow tie,” the Giants reliever told the Washington Post about the incredibly tight, incredibly amazing outfit he wore to last night’s show. “It’s a onesie, so it has built-in gloves that are a little dirty because I’ve been getting a little awkward here on the carpet. And I’ve got my cougar cane — my ‘plus one’ tonight.” Oh , to be that cougar cane!

While host Seth Meyers picked apart Wilson’s look during his monologue, comparing him to both The Penguin and the cast of The Fiddler On The Roof, plenty of other non-costumed celebrities and athletes went the traditional “looking hot” route, a group that included Kerri Russell, Matt Kemp, Serena Williams, Justin Timberlake and the shocking thin Jonah Hill. All of which begs the question…

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What The Heck Is Leona Lewis Wearing?

If this is Leona Lewis‘ new shtick, we’re not digging it. The singer sported a not-quite-skin-tone midriff topped with a giant yellow bow over her breasts at Essence‘s 2nd Annual Black Women In Music Reception in LA last night. We’d assume she was trying to compete with the wacky fashion sense of pompadoured honoree Janelle Monae, but she showed up at the premiere of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never wearing a similar top shaped like a pair of lips the day before. We wouldn’t be shocked if Lewis’ many handlers decided she needed an edgier, more “fun” fashion reputation to compete with Katy Perry and Rihanna’s edgy outfits, but her tops seem just silly, if not wildly inappropriate—boob lips to the kid-filled premiere of a Justin Bieber movie?

Get a closer look at her top in the gallery below. Are you feeling this new look for Leona? We can only imagine what she might have in mind for the Grammys.

[Photo: FilmMagic/Getty Images]

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Nicole Kidman Blames Her Fashion Choices On Her 2-Year-Old

Nicole Kidman, if a 2-year-old told you to jump off a bridge, would you? The actress told Us at Monday’s Oscar Nominees Luncheon that her daughter Sunday has “strong opinions” about what her mommy wears on the red carpet.  “She chooses what she calls ‘pretty dresses,’ so she has a very strong voice in terms of what I will be wearing on the night of the Oscars,” she warned. “Fingers crossed, guys—I could be wearing a tutu!” Somehow we don’t think Sunday was responsible for Nicole combining a tight leather dress with a sheer blouse (is that a cravat?) at the Just Go With It premiere, though. We’re guessing one of Sunday’s “pretty dresses” would be more flattering.

See photos of Nicole’s peculiar pairing in the gallery below. Does Sunday tell Keith Urban to put on all that eyeliner, too?

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Avril Lavigne Takes Green Hair, Boyfriend Brody To Paris

Avril Lavigne‘s new pics for Vanity Fair Italia are pretty adult and glamorous, but it looks like the punk-pop princess hasn’t totally changed her ways. The singer’s been sporting puke-green locks while partying in LA this week before heading off to Paris with boyfriend Brody Jenner for a romantic getaway.  Hard to believe you’re looking at 26-year-old divorcee, isn’t it? Will she ever let her “hot topic brat” look go? It just seems out of place outside a roller derby.

See photos of Avril’s Vanity Fair shoot—and the direction she’s gone hair-wise since—in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images/Splash News Online]

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Why Is Paris Hilton Dressed Like My Mom?

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This is weird. Paris Hilton, seen here going out to dinner with boyfriend Cy Waits, is covered from the neck down. Does she have a full-body rash? Did she have some kind of laser treatment? Or is she actually — gasp! — toning down her schtick and dressing like a normal person? We’re flummoxed. You could actually describe her legwear as “slacks.” It’s going to take a moment for us to wrap our head around this. For a more close up look at that chihuahua-inspired top, that only a grandma could love, check out our gallery.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Kanye Wins Us Over With His Insane Diamond Teeth

There’s a lot of rumors swirling around about Kanye West’s oral situation, but despite what you may have heard, Kanye maintains that his diamond teeth are real, not a grill…and we believe him. When interviewed for November’s Vanity Fair about why he had the jewels permanently embedded in his choppers, West thoughtfully replied, “I just like diamond teeth and I didn’t feel like having to take them out all the time.” He just a busy man who likes diamond teeth, you guys. Is that really such a crime?

Kanye also explained his oral situation while a guest on Ellen, asserting “It’s really my real teeth…It’s like replaced my bottom row of teeth. I just thought the diamonds were cooler.” Regular teeth are pretty boring when you think about it: plain, smooth, white. Or in our case, deep mustard yellow. Though unfortunately for West, “I have to go to the dentist all the time to maintain it.” Wow, do dentists not have to take some sort of oath to not ruin your teeth? If not, can we get that dentist’s number?!?

The reason we believe Kanye really has jewel-teeth? Because he’s Kanye West: musician, megalomaniac, and now, partially made out of diamonds. As West explained to Ellen, “It’s just certain stuff rock stars are supposed to do.” Exactly!  Seriously, why are Lady Gaga and Kanye not working together yet? Or better yet, married? Imagine the beautiful drag cyborg babies they’d create.

So what do you think? Does a mouth full of gems make Kanye just more of an a-hole…or does it make him so much of an a-hole that he has looped back around to being College Dropout-era awesome again? I think you now how we feel about it. We think you know how we feel about it.

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Rihanna Brings Her Blanket To The Club

It’s possible Rihanna was just being her ridiculous self showing up at London’s Mahiki nightclub wrapped in a blanket this weekend, but we prefer to assume she was wearing an outfit so smoking hot that the fire marshal demanded she put out the fashion flames with this drab wrap, lest we singe our eyebrows staring at the little pink number poking out from the top. See more photos of the singer in the gallery below.

[Photo: .com]

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Adrien Brody Looks Lame In Leather At Cannes Armani Party

Adrien Brody

This is no way for a 37-year-old Oscar winner to dress. Actually, this is no way for any human being to dress, but we’re especially embarrassed that leather-loving Adrien Brody decided this look was appropriate for yesterday’s Armani yacht party at Cannes. The Lady Gaga shirt may be meant to suggest a fashion forward mindset, but he still looks like a cheap, sticky couch possessed by DJ Pauly D. Even if we didn’t hate this guy for stinking up every single movie he’s made since winning that Oscar for The Pianist (which we still haven’t seen because its a holocaust drama directed by a rapist and starring Adrien Brody), we’d still hate him for this suit. If he makes Predators suck, we suggest he be banned from anything that has the slightest chance of being awesome.

Thankfully, attendees like Emily Blunt, Naomi Watts, Benicio Del Toro and Natalie Imbruglia (she lives!) found more respectable attire for the soiree (Elizabeth Banks is still trying too hard, though). See what they wore in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Cheetah Print And Hammer Pants: Mary-Kate Olsen FTW

Mary-Kate Olsen

Most would see the premiere of a low-profile indie movie like Holy Rollers (starring Jesse Eisenberg as a Hasidic teen caught in the drug racket) as a chance to dress casual, but Mary-Kate Olsen found the perfect opportunity to remind us why she’s (allegedly) a rising star in the world of fashion. Really, what says “flattering” and “fashion-forward” like a cheetah print top over baggy pants? It’s schlubby chic! Some might say she looks like David Lee Roth trying out for the Golden Girls, but those philistines don’t realize that “elderly ballroom dancer” will be the look in 2011. Find out what Ashley and everyone else wore in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Steve Harvey Had His Own NYC Gala To Throw Last Night

Steve & Marjorie Harvey

You might think it’d be unwise to schedule your NYC gala on the same night the Costume Institute Gala takes over the Met. But then again, you’re not Steve Harvey. The comedian held his 1st Annual Steve Harvey Foundation Gala at Cipriani Wall Street Monday, honoring Denzel Washington, raising money for Harvey’s efforts to teach “The Principles Of Manhood” and enjoying a performance by Toni Braxton. That’s all well and good, but what the hell is going on with Marjorie Harvey‘s dress? If that giant-ass bow was an attempt to draw some attention away from the Met and towards this soiree, congratulations! See more photos in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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