Of all the many, many rumors we’ve been hearing about the movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, this is one of our favorites: Angelina Jolie’s name has been floating around — no, not as a gender-swapped version of Christian Grey (though that would make things more interesting, and she did it for Salt!), nor as a casting choice for Elena/”Mrs. Robinson” (because who doesn’t think she’s into “kinky f—ery”?), but as a possible director of the film. According to Deadline, the folks at Universal Pictures denied having any conversations with Jolie, BUT they’d certainly consider her if she were into it. Hmmm, the love story of a naive college graduate and the corporate exec with a secret BDSM life sounds a wee bit different from In the Land of Blood and Honey, Angie’s directorial debut. It does, however, remind us of Jolie’s earlier days as a bad-girl actress who wore her husband’s blood around her neck. If she brought some of that attitude, and a little more feminist flavor than the book has, we could really get into this movie. Anyway, Deadline’s Mike Fleming doesn’t think it would happen, since she’s too involved in starring in Maleficent at the moment.
What’s your favorite Fifty Shades rumor of the moment? Sound off in the comments!
[Photos: Knopf Doubleday, Getty Images]
Related: Selena Gomez’s “Fifty Shades Of Blue” And 5 Other Parodies That Make The Movie No Longer Necessary
A more cynical writer (or less indulgent reader) might say this marks the moment that 50 Shades of Grey — or, more accurately, making fun of Fifty Shades of Grey — jumped the shark. Selena Gomez and Nick Kroll have made a Funny or Die video in which the teen queen fantasizes about her gross house painter as a result of reading a little too much E.L. James. But I’m not going to say that, because I have laughed at EVERY SINGLE ONE of these, and I’m showing no signs of tiring of the topic. Comedians of the world, you may still keep these parodies coming, for our appetite is as insatiable as Anastasia Steele’s. What I do fear is that by the time they get around to actually making the real movie, we won’t be able to take it seriously in the least. If we ever would have, that is. (OK, if Ian Somerhalder plays Christian, I promise to take it seriously.) Here five other readings/parodies to enjoy … until the next one comes along. None of these are SFW, btw.
1. Fifty Shades of Grey, the animated trailer. If you’ve read the book, I have two words of warning for you: blue string. If you haven’t, just prepare for some CGI gross. Read more…
We know your oh-so-happy-trail is standing on end right now at the prospect of hearing the Snow White and the Hunstman cast reading you Fifty Shades of Grey like some kind of book-on-tape orgy. Hope you’re into nervous giggling and references to corn! “I’m kind of dying to read it. I shall read this,” Kristen Stewart laughs as she flips through the recent erotica sensation on MTV Afterhours, along with Chris Hemsworth, Sam Claflin and Charlize Theron. “‘Oh, the possibilities’…I can’t believe I’m reading this.” Cracks KStew, “I see people reading this on airplanes and I’m like, “Ew, take that blanket off your lap, you freak.’ I need to read this. That’s intense, man.” You guys, she could be talking about you on that airplane! You could be that freak! And you probably are!
On a slightly less exciting note, there is no way Kristen has read your Twilight fan fiction; she’s never taken the time to really delve into it. “No, I haven’t. I am interested, I guess.,” Stewart laughs. “I just haven not Googled that one yet.” Don’t worry! If we know the Internet like we think we do, people will still be writing sexy Twilight fan fic after the sun burns out. Oh, and did we mention Charlize tries to yank off host Josh Horowitz‘s shoes in a fit of literary-inspired lust? This cast know hows to give people what they want! “People” being a “bunch of perverts,” of course.