Fifty Shades Of Grey

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Flipping The Script: Which Hot Actors Walked Away From Big Roles — Filled By Other Hot Actors?

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With Charlie Hunnam recently ditching the Christian Grey role in Fifty Shades Of Grey, we started to wonder which other hot actors ended up walking away from parts in major films. And we’ve put a little twist on the departures, exploring which leading men were replaced with other equally hot leading men.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Emma Watson Shoots Down Fifty Shades Rumors, Here Are 25 Reasons She’d Be Great As Anastasia Steele

Emma Watson denies she'll be in 50 Shades Of Grey

Rumors have been buzzing for months now that Emma Watson will step into Anastasia Steele’s stilettos for the big screen adaption of the Fifty Shades Of Grey book series. And the 22-year-old actress as weighed in on the tales once and for all.

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by (@shalapitcher)

Honey Boo Boo, Chris Brown And Panem: 10 Signs The Mayan Apocalypse Really Should Happen Now

Chris Brown's tattoo, Honey Boo Boo-inspired porn among the 10 reasons the world should just end already

So folks at NASA and archaeologists and real news reporters are trying to tell everyone to simmer down about the apocalypse coming on December 21, because of science and stuff. But we’re beginning to suspect differently. Even if the Mayans themselves didn’t think the end of the 13th baktun (things we’ve learned this week!) didn’t actually meant the end of the world, we’ve noticed some signs that really, we should just give up and retreat to our bunkers right now. Let us count down our top 10:

Gossip Girl

10. Gossip Girl was Dan Humphrey all along! (And also, everyone on the island was dead!) Oof. The resolutions of series-long mysteries are never as good as we want them to be, probably much like the answers to life’s big questions. Bleh.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

9. All the hip-hop greats are running corporations, starring on reality-TV shows or dating the stars of reality-TV shows. Not that they shouldn’t trade thug life for the good life, but did they have to sell their artistic souls in the process?
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by (@shalapitcher)

Tom Hardy Moonlights As Tattoo Artist: Further Proof He Should Be Christian Grey

I am hurt that even though I was the first to make the connection last week that the hiring of Kelly Marcel to write the Fifty Shades of Grey screenplay means good things for my long-held hope for her pal Tom Hardy to be cast as Christian Grey, I have not yet received a job offer to be the movie’s casting director. Well, thanks to the Tumblr Exploring Tom Hardy, tattoo artist Danny Inked Norris and the Facebook page of the Richmond Tattoo Studio in Richmond Upon Thames, England, I feel one step closer to proving my point.

Tom Hardy tattooing
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by (@shalapitcher)

The Canyons Trailer Gets Caught At Center Of Bret Easton Ellis, Fifty Shades Producer Twitter Feud

How did directors, writers and producers trade heated insults before Twitter? Well, in a way much less entertaining for the rest of us, that’s for sure. We have been particularly entertained by the feud that bubbled up yesterday, when Bret Easton Ellis expressed frustration that Kelly Marcel landed the gig he’d been vying for, writing the screenplay of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Unfortunately — or maybe fortunately — he lobbed this insult just an hour after releasing the teaser trailer for his upcoming movie, The Canyons, starring Lindsay Lohan and James Deen. The sneak peek plays up the campy nature of the movie with the look of a melodrama made in the 1960s. And it was basically placed in the direct line of fire of Fifty Shades producer Dana Brunetti. “@BretEastonEllis Really, Bret? The day you release that ‘trailer’. School film? You’re losing it,” he said in a tweet he then deleted, according to E!. Then Brunetti proceeded to retweet a slew of posts critiquing The Canyons. Read more…

by (@shalapitcher)

Fifty Shades Of Grey Screenwriter May Put Us One Step Closer To Tom Hardy As Christian Grey (Wild Guess)

Tom Hardy

Please bear with me as I turn a tiny bit of news into wild speculation/fanfic. Focus Features just issued a press release stating that Kelly Marcel has landed the highly coveted gig of turning E.L. JamesFifty Shades of Grey into a screenplay. Reportedly it was her screenplay Saving Mr. Banks, about Walt Disney’s quest to acquire the rights to Mary Poppins, that got her the job, even though that movie is still in production. We thought we’d take a look at Marcel’s IMDb page to see what else she had done and found out two interesting things: 1) She’s the creator of Terra Nova, that TV show we forgot to watch last year, and 2) she founded something called the Bad Dog Theater Company in London with none other than Mr. Tom Hardy.

Now, I’m a giant fan of Ian Somerhalder and a lot of the other hot actors people have been proposing to play BDSM-obsessed CEO Christian Grey, but ever since I read the book, I’ve been picturing Tom Hardy in the role. He’s just got that right combination of dangerous, sexy and vulnerable required to play the vulnerable overachiever. So even though I can find no actual evidence either of this Bad Dog Theater Company (besides its mention in various online bios), nor do I have any reason to believe Marcel has any pull in the casting of Fifty’s star, I need something like this to boost our spirits on a Monday afternoon. Hollywood, please listen to me for once.

[Photo: Warner Bros.]

by (@shalapitcher)

Fifty Shames Of Earl Grey: The Parody That Will Finally Let You Laugh At Your Own Obsession

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
So, you’ve feverishly read through most of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy — that third one takes some work, right — the movie is eons away, and now you’re getting kind of tired of seeing everyone, their mother and their brother-in-law reading the books on the train, the plane and everywhere in between. What’s next? Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by the pseudonymous Fanny Merkin (a.k.a. book blogger Andrew Shaffer) is kind of the perfect beach read for the end of summer and the end of your obsession.

If you have cleared fantasies of Christian and Ana and the Red Room of Pain from your mind, you might be starting to see the absurdities of the books’ plot and characters — how does no one call the authorities on Christian’s stalkerish behavior? How would a publishing company hire a girl fresh out of college to be an editor, regardless of who owns the place? The list goes on. Earl Grey just takes those absurdities a little further with the story of Anna Steal and Earl Grey.

The skeleton of the plot is the same, but the details are hilariously exaggerated. Anna’s roommate, “a total B,” is Kathleen Kraven, an alcoholic 38-year-old writer for Boardroom Hotties. Their friend Jin is a Brony, Before her interview of Earl, she has actually never ridden in an elevator because “we don’t have elevators in Portland.” Anna works at Walmart. Earl Grey buys Walmart in his efforts to impress/control her. Oh, and he’s not into your average BDSM — his version stands for “Bards, Dragons, Sorcery and Magick,” as in very sexy LARP-ing.
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by (@shalapitcher)

Allow Fifty Shades Of Grey – The Classical Album To Complete Your Own Red Room Of Pain

Fifty Shades of Grey The Classical Album

Probably some of you were a little too busy with, er, other things on your mind while reading Fifty Shades of Grey to realize author E.L. James was giving you the perfect playlist for your very own, um, enjoyment. Or if you’re that great a multi-tasker, in between buying that complete set of restraints and riding crops, you’ve already downloaded all the Thomas Tallis, Bach and more that accompanies Ana and Christian’s adventures in and out of the “Red Room of Pain,” For the rest of us, EMI has actually compiled a bunch of those songs into Fifty Shades of Grey – The Classical Album (alas, that means no Britney Spears or Kings of Leon will be included).

“I am thrilled that the classical pieces that inspired me while I wrote the Fifty Shades Trilogy are being brought together in one collection for all lovers of the books to enjoy,” James said in a press release from the label. The album drops digitally on August 21 and in CD format on September 18.

Here’s a track list to, um, whet your appetite:
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