Friday

by (@hallekiefer)

Rebecca Black Teased So Badly She Has To Be Home Schooled

Some might argue that Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video led to the biggest cyber-bullying frenzy in Internet history, but we guess there’s a big difference between mean YouTube comments, and your fellow eighth graders coming after you during study hall. TMZ reports that due to the notoriety of Rebecca’s jam, the singer had to be switched to homeschooling to escape non-stop teasing from her classmates. Despite the taunts, Rebecca still plans on pursuing her pop dreams. So if you had planned to drive her out of the  music business all together, bullies, you have only hurt yourselves!

You’d think people would be satisfied by that genius Rebecca Black Katy Perry collabo the way the rest of America was, but apparently it just got to be too much. “When I walk by they’ll start singing ‘Friday’ in a really nasally voice,” Black told ABC news. “Or, you know, they’ll be like, ‘Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?’” As if Rebecca Black, of all the people on the planet, wouldn’t know what day it was, in addition to what day comes afterwaaaaaards. As if!

by (@hallekiefer)

Glee To Cover Rebecca Black’s “Friday,” Learn The Meaning Of Fun Fun Fun Fun

Sometimes it seems like the kids at McKinley High have to deal with so many obstacles on the path to adulthood: unplanned pregnancy, infidelity, Coach Sylvester throwing them up against the lockers.  If it turns out rumors are true about Glee covering Rebecca Black’s “Friday” in their upcoming prom episode, the New Directions will face the hardest decision of all: front seat versus back seat. Allegedly Kevin McHale, Chord Overstreet and Mark Salling will be the cast members explaining what day comes after…wards.  If we know Glee like we think we do, guaranteed the car they’re rocking out in will either flip over, or an attention-starved Rachel will cut off a school bus while singing the Patrice Wilson rap break. Maybe Mr. Schue can use the song to teach a lesson on Autotuning and driving. No, we’re just kidding. Mr. Schue doesn’t teach.

New rumors about Glee‘s Lady Gaga episode next Tuesday have also dropped today. It looks like the 90-minute mega episode focuses on football playing bully Dave Karofsky, as well as a new love interest for the Britney-loving Santana. We-we-we-so excited to have the Gleeks back after their break, we’re even going to overlook the fact that they’re giving even more attention to the worst song every performed.

[Photo: [

by (@hallekiefer)

Arbiter of Realness Miley Cyrus Lashes Out At Rebecca Black

It must be hard to see some young whipper-snapper achieve instant fame through no real talent of her own, especially when you’ve worked for decades to hone your skills and find your true voice. Of course then you’d be Bob Dylan and you would have no idea what Auto-tune even is. In the meantime, why exactly is Miley Cyrus criticizing Rebecca Black? When asked about the Internet star/punchline in Australia’s Daily Telegraph, Cryus sniffed, “It should be harder to be an artist. You shouldn’t just be able to put a song on YouTube and go on tour.” Of course not! You should have to be the daughter of a wildly successful country western star. Seriously, it’s like some people don’t even respect the craft anymore!

While Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video might be burning up the interwebs, Miley thinks social media is for amateurs who know nothing about life in the spotlight. You know, like 8-year-olds or something. “I do not Tweet, I do not social network, I try to stay out of it,” Cyrus scoffed. “I complain enough about people knowing too much about my private life, so to go out there and exploit myself would be silly and hypocritical.” You know what else would be silly and hypocritical? Snarking on someone for paying a faceless corporation to make her famous…after a faceless cooperation made you famous. Despite what your voice sounds like, Miley, you haven’t really been drinking whiskey and traveling in the back of train cars teaching yourself guitar for 20 years. So let’s try to keep things in pop perspective.