We all had our fun with the Gerard Depardieu’s airplane incident, mainly because in our heart of hearts we suspected A-listers of doing stuff like this all the time without us finding out about it. We’ve never ridden a plane with Gwyneth Paltrow, is all we’re saying. However, if Depardieu’s travel companion Edouard Baer is to be believed we’re going to want to wipe off all those zingers we made about Gerard’s bladder malfunction. Says fellow actor Baer, “He has prostate problems and it was very worrying and humiliating for him. He was also stone-cold sober at the time. This is not the way he usually behaves.” Yeah, we’re pretty sure if this was the way Gerard Depardieu usually behaved we would have heard about it by now.
According Baer’s statement, Gerard Depardieu’s peeing incident happened after the actor’s medical problems forced him to pee into a bottle after being denied access to the restroom. Once the bottle was fullÃ¢â‚¬Â¦well, there weren’t a lot of other good option after that; those barf bags are still just bags! “Gerard was upset at this and offered to clean up the mess,” his friend told the BBC. We sure hope Baer actually had permission to reveal all these intimate details, or else let’s pray he doesn’t have an unsoiled rug that ties the whole room together.
When it comes to the French, actor Gerard Depardieu is basically their Tom Hanks, Robert DeNiro and John Malkovich rolled into one. Now imagine all three of those guys emptying their bladders in public and that’s about how insane it would be to hear that Gerard Depardieu peed on an airplane. Reportedly the actor’s flight from Paris to Dublin was delayed and had to wait on the tarmac. When Gerard was told by a member of the flight crew that he couldn’t use the restrooms until the flight had taken off, he did what we assume most A-listers secretly want to do: he proceeded to unzip and pee on the carpet. We bet it was more awkward than when his character sings “Thank Heavens For Little Girls” in My Father, The Hero. Well, almost that awkward.
Because they are fabulously European, City Jet, the company that operated the flight, took to their Twitter account to joke about the Gerard Depardieu peeing incident, tweeting, “As you may have seen on the news, we are busy mopping the floor of one of our planes this morning,” followed by “We’d also like to remind all passengers that our planes are fully equipped with toilet facilities.” As a fellow passenger named Daniele told French radio station Europe 1, “You could tell he’d been drinking,” Yeah…we can’t say for sure that Depardieu must have been drunk. We’re just saying, how many times has he peed in front of a horrified flight attendant while sober? The prosecution rests, Your Honor.
In his next new role that isn’t a direct cinematic analogy to Mel Gibson‘s breakdown, the star of Jodie Foster’s The Beaver is in talks to join Sleight of Hand with Kiefer Sutherland, where they’ll play French burglars who must tangle with a gangster. At least that’s not quite so on-the-nose as an emotionally disturbed man who channels his feeling through an animal puppet. Although, we guess if you really think about it…the gangster could be Mel’s hidden rage and the French language, the rose garden where Mel buries….no, forget about it. It’s just a caper movie. Also joining the stars is French actor Gerard Depardieu, or as he’ll be known on set, Gerard Depardon’t let any of the leading men sneak booze on-set. Sleight will be Gibson’s third post-breakdown movie, second being How I Spent My Summer Vacation, where Mel’s nine-year-old costar could be read as an analogy for Gibson’s lost youth. Don’t even get us started on What Women Want, unless you have about three hours to kill.
[Photo: Getty Images]