We hope this doesn’t earn us a severed horse head in our bed (we just got new sheets from Ikea) but up until today we thought Linday Lohan’s Gotti: Three Generations movie was sort of…not going to happen. No offense to Lilo! It’s just that after months of hearing about how she was going to play Deep Throat‘s Linda Lovelace or Sharon Tate, we’ve learn not to get our hopes up that any film Lindsay is attached to will every actually get to see the light of day. Now that Al Pacino’s Gotti biopic role is confirmed, however, we’re going to have to reconsider our assumption that Lindsay’s involvement is the kiss of death.
Pacino will play Gambino crime boss Neil Dellacroce, joining Lohan, John Travolta, Joe Pesci and Kelly Preston in the gangster flick. The movie is set to starting filming in early 2012, and we can only hope it’ll be less of a mess than Lohan’s more recent projects such as I Know Who Killed Me. Unless Lindsay drops out, then the movie will immediately win Best Picture in 2013.
[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]
The good news: a successful adult with no financial stake in Lindsay Lohan has taken an interest in her well-being. The questionable news…it’s John Travolta. According to the National Enquirer, John is trying to get his on-and-off Gotti: Three Generations co-star to join the Church Of Scientology. “Even though producers were hesitant to hire Lindsay because of her troubled past. Travolta assured them he’d take her under his wing,” says their source. “He feels confident he’ll be able to keep her on the straight and narrow—now and forever.” Not ominous enough, pal—how about “keep her on the straight and narrow…permanently…with extreme prejudice.”
“John introduced Lindsay to one of the church’s top counselors and even though she’s been cast in a new role and won’t play the star’s daughter in the flick, she’s assured him she’ll still attend the series of induction classes that will make her a Scientologist.” This is quite the pickle for us nosy bystanders who refuse to mind our own business: while any viewer of South Park has their qualms about the Church, currently Lindsay’s adult role models are her parents Michael and Dina…say what you want about Xenu, but John, Tom Cruise and the other celebs blessed with healing hands are at least gainfully employed. Stevie Nicks, are you sure you won’t reconsider helping LiLo out?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Don’t they usually hold press conferences after signing contracts? Gotti: Three Generations producer Mark Fiore says that Lindsay Lohan will not be playing Victoria Gotti in the upcoming biopic, despite posing with Victoria, John Gotti Jr. and attached star John Travolta at an event earlier this month. “We are not talking any further about Lindsay playing Victoria,” Fiore told People. “She is no longer being considered. The talks have stopped. We are going to meet with other people.”
Though Fiore says Lindsay’s legal woes “have nothing to do with it,” he hasn’t explained what did force him to drop her from the running (TMZ says that money and Lindsay’s managers were an issue). He shouldn’t blame folks for assuming otherwise, though—with Gotti losing director Nick Cassavettes due to scheduling conflicts and Lindsay headed to court after Easter, it sounds like this movie will have a hard enough time getting made without attaching to a drama magnet like LiLo.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Lindsay Lohan can never just star in a regular old rom-com, can she? Whether it’s appearing in a Deep Throat biopic or as Manson victim Sharon Tate, LiLo is always trying to get cast as part of the underbelly of human experience. Only this time, John Travolta and Kim Kardashian might be joining her there! Rumors are swirling that Lindsay Lohan’s Gotti movie role is almost official; Lindsay is allegedly in “final talks” to portray Victoria Gotti, daughter of Travolta’s John Gotti and sister-in-law to Kardashian’s Kim Gotti in Gotti: Three Generations. Let’s just go ahead and cast Paz De La Huerta as Angel Gotti and, oh let’s say, Smeagol from Lord Of The Rings as Carmine Gotti. There we have it: the biggest trainwreck in cinematic history!
Unfortunately, Lindsay would miss out on the opportunity to sleaze it up in what producer Marc Fiore claims is “going to be the new Godfather” if Lohan serves jail time; she won’t know her fate until after her court date on April 22. Being in prison would, of course, also impact Lohan’s Superman casting, if that is still on the table. Hey, if the Gotti thing doesn’t pan out, Lindsay, there’s always Human Centipede: The Musical. No, we were just joking. Lindsay! No!