by (@hallekiefer)

Justin Bieber’s Laptop Really Was Stolen, Says Rep. “Whaaaaa?,” Says Everyone Else

Nicki Minaj And Justin Bieber In Beauty And The Beat Video

O…kay. We guess we all were too quick to assume that reports of Justin Bieber‘s laptop and camera getting stolen this week were just a bit of viral marketing for his brand-spanking-new “Beauty and The Beat” video with Nicki Minaj. It made so much sense! The video was released today! But you know what happens if you assume, right? Right. “Be very clear, the laptop was indeed stolen in Tacoma. That was NOT a hoax,” the Bieb’s publicist Melissa Victor told the Associated Press today. Many sites have declared the rumored theft to be nothing more than marketing scheme, but could it be that Justin just had his stuff stolen at the exact wrong moment? It seems almost too good to be true! Until actual photos of his junk start appearing online, that is.

After all, if it was a hoax, why bother keeping up the facade? Fans still love Justin regardless of whether it’s real or not, and everyone else just rolled their eyes in bemusement. We guess some people got genuinely upset over reports of Bieber’s duplicitous tomfoolery, but we didn’t think anyone could hear us screaming and crying in the ladies’ room. Uh, wait, we mean….um….we stole the laptop! No, we didn’t! Oh god, why did we say that? Keep it together, you guys! It’s all going to be okay! Oh lord, here comes all that spaghetti and milk!

[Photo: Island/Def Jam Music Group]