In 2009, a lot of ordinary people became famous for next-to-nothing, previously A-list stars fell from grace, and quasi-celebs made outlandish statements for publicity. From the Balloon Boy stunt to Glenn Beck‘s fear-mongering to Tiger Woods‘ mistresses coming out of the woodwork; some people really tested our patience and wore us thin. Here are the top nine “celebrity” losers we hope go into hiding for 2010.
9. Balloon Boy’s Dad: Think little Falcon Henne had any idea about his fame-guzzlin’ father’s publicity plot while he was chillin’ in a box in their attic? We doubt it, and the little guy’s televised bodily functions pretty well summed up how we felt about the whole stunt after we wasted hours of our lives watching an empty weather balloon float above Colorado.
Despite the remorseJaimee Grubbs professed on Extra (“I couldn’t describe how remorseful that I am to have hurt [Elin Nordegren]’s family and her emotionally”), the Tool Academy star continues to earn the $150k she allegedly received for her story by sharing texts from her “sacred” relationship with Tiger Woods to Us Weekly. Nothing says “sorry for homewrecking” like letting everyone in on the dirt. Some choice bits of [sic]-ness between the former friends with benefits:
Tiger: I need you.
Jaimee: then get your tired ass over here and visit me! I need u
Tiger: I will wear you out soon.
Jaimee: I only watch football
Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.
Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special
Tiger: why do I not believe that?
Finally, the internet gets some decent photos of Jaimee Grubbs, Tiger Wood‘s alleged mistress. The golfer’s lady friend was grinning from ear to ear while out with girlfriends in Hollywood this week. For someone who’s name has been all over the news this week, she’s looking mighty happy. Apparently fame sure is fun, no matter how you come by it.
It has now been one week since Tiger Woodscrashed his car following an argument with wife Elin Nordegren, and the rumors about his infidelities are only getting juicier. Following the sex and violence, it shouldn’t be any surprise today’s gossip is all about drugs. Rachel Uchitel reportedly bragged to friends that she and the golfer were fond of spicing their hook ups with Ambien. “You know you have crazier sex on Ambien—you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex.” Take a second to form a clear mental picture of what she’s describing, folks.
She’s only in the clip for a few seconds, so skip ahead to the 1:19 mark to witness Jaimee shake it in all her tube-topped glory. Hopefully Tiger‘s wife hasn’t tossed his laptop out the window and he can watch it too.
As promised, Us Weekly has posted a voicemailTiger Woods left for “Tool Academy” star and alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs. While not specific about his reasons, Woods sure didn’t want wife Elin Nordegren getting in touch with her (listen below the jump).
“Hey, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.”
Hmm…if Tiger was worried about the missus learning Jaimee’s full name from her voicemail, wonder what he had her under in his phone? “Sidepiece #2″? Or maybe “#3″? In Touch Weekly says Woods was also getting down with nightclub manager Kalika Moquin last month in Vegas. “They met up on October 27 in his room at the MGM Grand,” says their source. They’ve been friends for three years.”
And what’s the National Enquirer‘s latest contribution to the dogpile? That Tiger’s company actually paid for Rachel Uchitel‘s Australian getaway, despite the 9/11 widow’s claims that their being down under at the same time was strictly coincidental. Tiger. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. Dude. This doesn’t look good. Just give Elin half your bank account now. Actually, make that 3/4ths. [Photo: Us Magazine]
Jaimee Grubbs has come forward to claim that she had a 31-month long affair with Tiger Woods. The 24-year-old cocktail waitress allegedly has more than 300 text messages from the golf star on her phone, as well an alleged voice mail from Tiger left on November 24, in which he worries that his wife is on to the affair. (Us Magazine will have the message on their site tomorrow for you to listen – and cringe – to.) Tiger and Jamie’s trysts supposedly began in April 2007; Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren gave birth to their first child, daughter Sam, in June 2007, and their son Charlie in February 2009.
Jaimee, who hails from Los Angeles, recently appeared on VH1’s “Tool Academy” with her then-boyfriend Shawn. She left after a couple of eps when it was revealed that her man had been seeing his ex-girlfriend behind her back during their relationship. If her allegations are true then this would mean that she was secretly gettin’ with Tiger while also being played on TV. In addition, TMZ is reporting that Florida cops will press charges against the golf star today. Oh, how our head spins.