Jeff Miranda

by (@missmuttoo)

Jersey Shore’s Angelina Beats Up Snooki’s Boyfriend


Where do we even begin? Because Jersey Shore shenanigans completely fry us! Okay, the best place to start is right from the beginning. In this case it would be Snooki’s new boyfriend Jeff Miranda‘s infamous magazine cover proposal. We doubt the lady in question makes the right choices (hello, arrest for disorderly conduct) but in this case Snooki, did good by saying thanks, but no thanks.

Jeffy here has some major (alleged) baggage here. Expected, of course, ’cause what’s the Jersey Shore (and Snooki) without mayjah drama. He apparently loves ‘swinger’ parties, held a gun at his ex’s head and got served with a restraining order. But the worst? He supposedly tried to get on with Snooki’s housemate Angelina.

And, charming gentleman that he is, he had to respond to Angelina’s news (read: vitriol) in the only way he knew how. In Steppin’ Out, the same magazine he proposed to Snooki in, he stated eloquently, “Nobody cares about her anymore. She’s spreading lies about me to get attention. But she’s very jealous of me and Nicole (Snooki). She should just f**k off. She thinks I’m interested in her, but you would think if I were interested in her we would be dating. I’m not into her. She’s a b*tch.”

Oh and that’s not all. You didn’t think he would be succinct, did you? He added, “…I was never with her sexually. I had a friend who hooked up with her friend and that’s about it. I took a few pictures with her and she feel in love with me. She thought I was a sexy Guido. I tried to be nice to her, but she got the wrong idea. Now she’s jealous. She’s a cock blocker. She needs to get a life. I’m tired of her trash talking…”

Of course then Miss Angelina apparently smashed a microphone on Miranda’s face at at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club in New York yesterday. She was filming a web broadcast with Chaunce Hayden when Miranda turned up and started sh*t up. Hayden revealed, “Jeff was yelling that Angelina was jealous of his relationship with Snooki and that she is trying to break them up so she can date him.”

Apparently Jeff didn’t try to defend himself because it all hit him (pun intended) by surprise. Hayden says, “He looked stunned. He stood up like he was going to hit her and a group of people stopped him. She took all the booze on the table and started pouring it in his face and blinded him. I never saw somebody get beat that bad.” Chaunce also said that his face was so swollen he couldn’t speak properly, even though he tried to mutter “I’m going to sue her.”

Woah. If this is true… then… Woah. I mean, we all know that Angelina is a slapper…but this is just insane.

[Photo: Splash News Online and Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Snooki’s New Hook-Up: “She’s Drunk Most Of The Time”


Aww, not even an “I love Snooki” tee-shirt could do the trick for ex Emilio Masella. Because our little Snooki is off to the sex shops for someone else now! Her new guido love, Jeff Miranda, has managed extricating his tongue long enough to give the press some one-on-one time. Totally unexpected, right? Why would anyone making out with Snooki want to behave like a fame-hungry ‘ho?

So this Miranda dude apparently met Snooki last week at Karma nightclub and won’t shut up about it, saying, “We hit it off really, really good. Nicole is actually really cute and seems like a cool a** person, even though she’s drunk most of the time. She’s a real sweet girl.” Our Snooki? Drunk? Sir, you lie!

Also…can we just repeat the “cool a** person, even though she’s drunk…” statement because that’s like, the best quote EVER. Also in what’s like the biggest lie EVER, Jeffie said they went to Snooki’s home the night they met and, “had in-depth conversations about each other’s lives, what our backgrounds were…It was almost like an instant connection.” Yeah right, they talked all night. Surrrrre. Dude, your pants are on fire.

There’s tons more, believe us, and it’s all in the same barf-inducing Snooki-soulmate vein. But here’s a sign that they’re a match made in cheeseball-heaven. He sighed, “…Her lips are matched perfectly to mine…I couldn’t even explain it.” There you go. The same weird, unnaturally colored beige lips seal the deal.

[Photo: Splash News Online]