Jersey Shore

by

The Situation Suits Up For Donald Trump’s Roast, Almost Booed Off Stage

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino loves his suit jackets, but he’s really not much for formal wear otherwise, usually pairing them with a t-shirt, jeans and necklaces. So it was a remarkable sight to see him looking dapper from head to toe at Donald Trump’s Comedy Central Roast last night. Sure, he didn’t wear a tie—which puts it behind last year’s GQ Men Of The Year party as The Classiest Situation Ensemble Ever—but look at those shoes! And the blue handkerchief! We’d ask if someone was getting married, but we’d expect he wears Ed Hardy and torn denim to church functions.

Despite his classy attire, The Sitch didn’t much respect last night—the LA Times says Sorrentino was almost booed off stage after a weak set, including a slave joke about fellow guest Snoop Dogg, who later called the Jersey Shore star Snooki (“Sorry, all white people who act black look the same to me”). Maybe Mike should have just ripped off the suit and given Lisa Lampanelli a lap dance.

Check out the gallery to see some examples of The Situation in (relative) formal wear, as well pics from last night’s roast.

[Photo: Getty Images]

View Photo Gallery

by

Angelina Pivarnick Is Moonlighting As A Wrestler

Angelina Pivarnick is having a busy 2011. The Jersey Shore star just got engaged, so of course a week later she did what any traditional, betrothed young woman would do and signed up for a celebrity wrestling show. Yes, Pivarnick will participate in a TNA Wrestling match which will air on Spike TV’s show iMPACT. She will tag team with a Snooki look-alike named Cookie. A girl’s gotta pay for her wedding somehow.

Never again will we mock The Situation for being on Dancing With The Stars, that was downright classy compared to watching the one they call the “Staten Island Dump” get thrown against the ropes.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by

Snooki’s Poof: Back And Scarier Than Ever!

Ironic: just when Justin Bieber cuts his hair, Snooki goes old school. Though the Jersey Shore star has mostly gone poofless for the last few months, she beast brought it back with a vengeance in New York this morning, sporting a mondo mullet that’s a party in the back and Gary Oldman‘s Dracula wig in the front. Are you feeling her return to tonsorial verticality?

[Photos: Splash News Online]

View Photo Gallery

by (@hallekiefer)

Jersey Shore‘s Angelina Gets A Surprise Proposal On The Red Carpet

What better way to show a reality star you love them than Jersey Shore‘s Angelina’s surprise proposal from boyfriend David Kovacs. “Oh my God, the kid just got down on one knee and I was like, what the f–k???” Angelina gasped to RadarOnline, after her man knelt on the red carpet at STYLE360 Sachika’s Fashion Show with photogs swarming. “She was totally surprised but looked really happy and covered her face with her hand to hide her excitement,” a source said. “She kept dropping the ring on the carpet because she was so nervous. But David picked her up and the two hugged and kissed.” Pivariak didn’t even have to punch someone at a strip club to get the cameras flashing! That must have felt almost as nice as getting the ring itself.

Not only did Pavarnick get engaged today, Angelina landed a role in a feature film as well, titled appropriately enough Every Time I Go To Staten Island Something Bad Happens. Pivariak must have had a gut feeling she would soon be slamming back glasses of champagne, because Angelina failed to get on Dr. Drew’s Celeb Rehab after stalling on her contract. “Angelina wasted two months of the network’s time, their money and legal efforts,” a source repaired. “She was fishing for the best deal she could get, she felt she was worth more than they were offering.” However disappointed she might be, it’s really more of a positive thing not to pay Dr. Drew at such a young age. There’s plenty of time for that in the future. The girl is 3 for 3!

[Photos: Getty Images]

View Photo Gallery

by (@hallekiefer)

The Jersey Shore/Justin Bieber Promos Predict Our Valentine’s Day Plans

There is something not quite right about these Jersey Shore promos for Justin Bieber‘s Never Say Never movie. Having The Situation suggest we take our Valentine  Day’s date to “The Situation Zone” at the back of a movie theater suggests two equally unsettling scenarios: 1) Bieber fans will take this as a sign they should smooch out during the film, even though they are only babies OR 2) adult human beings will get their freak on during a showing of Never Say Never, which is a crime that should be punishable by death. Either way, we do not approve this message.

Another clip features Pauly D infected with Bieber fever and looking he desperately scrambled out of a giant tub of Vaseline. Luckily Justin shows up (wearing a pearl necklace, because that’s something Pauly’s diseased mind might hallucinate) just in time to save the day. As much as we love both Jersey Shore and the Biebs, something about this combination doesn’t sit right, like Skittles and grain alcohol. Other celebs starring in Bieber’s promos include Diddy, Jay Leno, Julianne Hough and Angelina Jolie. Wow, maybe we should take our date to back row during Bieber’s film if so many heavy hitters are behind it. Heck, we were planning on getting arrested anyway.

by (@hallekiefer)

Jersey Shore Is Headed Back To The Motherland!

We haven’t been in a war with any European countries in the last two centuries or so; isn’t it time we let Snooki start another one? Rumor has it that Jersey Shore will shoot in Italy next season, if the Italian government doesn’t classify them all as an infectious disease and prevent them from coming through customs. Allegedly executives started applications for cast and crew visas two months ago. We were wondering how producers would handle another season now that the reality stars are more famous than most Oscar nominees; unleashing them on a new unsuspecting population is the perfect way to keep things fresh.

Sources say that the show’s reps are currently scouting locations on the peninsula, and have contacted Vinny’s relatives to host the gang for a traditional meal. Sunday dinners mean the same thing in every language! While we hope this doesn’t interfere with Snooki and JWoww‘s spin-off show or Pauly D’s new gig, we bet they could just film their cab rides to the airport and get enough material for a six episode run. Those producers know most international flights give out free wine, right? Genius.

by (@hallekiefer)

Snooki And JWoww Land Themselves A Spin-Off!

In news that makes us want to beat up the beat, Snooki and JWoww are getting their own spin-off. According to a source, Nicole Polizzi and Jenni Farley will be in Long Island filming the pilot this weekend. Look, it’s not that we don’t love the other Jersey girls and boys. It’s just that we love Snooki and JWoww so much more. The show reportedly doesn’t have a particular hook other than Nicole and Jenni’s amazing personalities. The title might not be Snookin’ For Love, but we all know that’s exactly what they’ll be doing.

The girls join Pauly D in furthering their careers with more reality TV, despite the fact that their time at the shore has opened up a variety of outlets for their particular brand of awesome. Snooki’s about six months and a couple million dollars away from a media empire now that her novel A Shore Thing is a New York Times best-seller, while JWoww’s artistic abilities as an undergrad have recently come to light. These ladies are shaping up to be a regular Oprah and Gayle, but with slightly more weave-pulling and faceplants.

by

Snooki Hates Being Called Snooki, But Is It Her Name That Makes Her Famous?

62361840

Snooki, whose given name is Nicole Polizzi, is fed up with her nickname. Polizzi revealed the origin of her famous nickname on Rachael Ray‘s talk show last year saying the name was given to her because she was the first of her friends to make out with a boy. “So you know Save the Last Dance Snooki the cootchie crook? It was the D.J.,” Polizzi told Ray. “Anyway, my girls started calling me Snooki, so it just stuck ever since. I was in eighth grade!” Even though the name’s been around for years, she recently said “I miss my real name. I miss people calling me Nicole.”

We totally understand and think she could make the transition from Jersey Shore Snooki to regular person Nicole.  Hey, Marky Mark eased into life as Mark Wahlberg, and The Rock is now semi-serious actor Dwayne Johnson, so people have a tendency to move on, although not without the occasional reference to the past. What do you think, would Snooki be as successful if she went back to her old name, or does she need to be Snooki to stay on top of (or inside, as the case may be) the ball?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by

Sammi And Ronnie, Our Generation’s Hepburn And Tracy, Break Up

Theirs was a love played out for an audience over three seasons, but alas, it is no more. Jersey Shore‘s Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro have broken up. How do we know? Why, it’s all on Facebook, clear as day.

Seems Sammi has unfriended Ronnie’s friends or, as Entertainment Tonight hilariously calls them, “Ronnie’s associates“  on Facebook, which is clearly a bad sign. The couple has been off-and-on but this seems to be the last straw. While the cheating and three-way kissing may have had an affect on their longevity, we tend to think that maybe they were just too violent for each other, what with Sammi beating up a lady in Miami and Ronnie getting  charged with assault that time during season one.  We’re sure we’ll see the destructive duo dissolve on-air now that the new season is here!