Jersey Shore

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Snooki Channels Joy Behar In Talk Show Parody Video

Snooki and J-Woww are certainly not oblivious to what people say about them. The two Jersey Shore stars filmed their own phony talk show recently and Snooki did an impression of The View‘s Joy Behar where she took Behar to task for constantly criticizing the Jersey Shore. Watch as Snooki chastises herself for waking up in garbage cans, managing to write a book while illiterate, and being a whore. Our favorite part is toward the end where Snooki-as-Joy explains why she hates the Shore kids so much, saying  “I don’t give a f— about anyone because my heart is this small.”

by (@hallekiefer)

J-Woww Claims She Was Under Anesthesia When Ex Snapped Nude Photos

We see a picture of us in a two-piece on Facebook and we have a panic attack, so we are extremely anxious to hear that J-Woww’s ex-boyfriend Tom Lippolis tried to sell nude photos of the Jersey Shore star. Now to make even more horrifying, apparently Jenni “J-Woww” Farley was under anesthesia when the photos were taken. “Jenni came to me and told me that she heard rumors that Tom was trying to sell naked photos of her that she had no idea there were ever photos taken. Jenni says she must have been under anesthesia when they were taken. She is very upset but is going to try and remain out of the public legal battle right now,” said J-Woww’s lawyer Rudy Fusco.

Earlier today Lippolis described the photos depicting J-Woww after her first boob job to RadarOnline, claiming “Before she had her second breast augmentation, she was uneven, scarred, deformed and had tons of cellulite. There were two-inch scars on her nipples and after the surgery, they had stretched the skin and removed the scars.” Lippolis, who J-Woww claims stole from her after they broke up this past summer, maintains this is just his way of getting payment for work done as her manager.  Earlier this week J-Woww went to court over the photos, filing an order to show cause in an effort to prevent her ex-creeper from selling them to the highest bidder. “I didn’t even try to market the pictures, but after I filed the lawsuit she decided to make this an issue. She is just upset because I have this over her head,” Lippolis claims. Let’s hope that this new information is enough to finally prevent him from shopping the pictures around. Or that J-Woww rips both of his arms right out of their sockets, one of the two.

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Presented Without Commentary: When Chloe Met Pauly

Chloe Sevigny & Pauly D

Big Love‘s Chloe Sevigny and Jershey Shore‘s Pauly D catch each other’s eye courtside at last Tuesday’s Knicks-Spurs game at Madison Square Garden.

[Photo: WireImage]

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Snooki Slippers, Snooki Jewelry, Snooki Sunglasses! It Can All Be Yours

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Looks like Snooki‘s book is only the tip of her merchandising iceberg. She is milking her 15 minutes of fame for all it’s worth, which is exactly why she has agreed to a licensing deal where her name and style will be applied to all sorts of new products. To start, Snooki has struck a deal with Happy Feet, the slipper company whose products she regularly wears on Jersey Shore so that you too can wear a little bit of pouf of your piggies. She has also designed a pendant necklace on DiamondShark.com just in time for Valentine’s Day which, coincidentally won’t be the first time Snooki and VD have gone together.

Stephen Goodman of SRG Ventures, the company responsible for the licensing, told the New York Post that the kinds of products Snooki lends her name to include “blingy” jewelry and sunglasses,  denim, sportswear, lingerie, handbags, personal care, beauty products, fragrances, swimwear, bedding and home goods. Smell like Snooki! Lie on fitted jersey-cotton sheets like Snooki! Apply under-eye concealer like Snooki! And then, in 2013, try selling it all on eBay in the inevitable “Snooki collectibles” section once everyone realizes what they’ve done.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Could The New Jersey Shore Cast Member Out-Snooki Snooki?

When Jersey Shore’s Sammi said her new cast member Deena Cortese was “exactly like Snooki,” she was not joking around. In fact, the clips we’ve seen so far made us sort of worried that Deena, Snooki’s friend IRL, might be so Snickerfied that our girl Snooki’s original spark could be lost under twice the amount of bronzer. As the Jersey Shore season premiere nears, we couldn’t help but note that the Jersey stars similarities include:

  • Approximately Cabbage Patch Doll-height in inches
  • Color of tan best described as “Well-Used Basketball”
  • Deena is as smush-crazy as Snooki, if not more so. As Deena explained to Life & Style, “The most guys I’ve hooked up with in one night is probably three,” the use of the word “probably” implying to us that she might not exactly know what her highest number is. “People consider me a man-eater. I don’t really like dating, though. Dates can be so awkward!”
  • Deena has already showed “her goods” to The Situation, as she explained to VH1.com this morning, further following in Snooki’s footsteps. Well, and the footsteps of every girl on the Eastern Seaboard.

Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

The Snooki-Ball Will Go Down In Jersey This New Year’s Eve

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On New Year’s Eve Snooki will be hurtling toward the pavement in a very familiar part of town, only this time it won’t be because she drunkenly toppled out of her heels. TMZ reports that the Snooki New Year’s Eve ball has been spotted in none other than Seaside Heights. The translucent orb with light-up Snooki sign will deposit the guidette gently onto New Jersey soil, meaning that after Snooki goes down, she’ll be able to walk to her house in the morning. Which is probably how she prefers it anyway.

Insiders revealed earlier today that it was Times Square officials that stopped Snooki from crawling into her hamster ball this Friday. “The Snooki ball drop isn’t going to happen in Times Square. At midnight, the crowd and the media will be watching Mayor Bloomberg, Dick Clark and the official ball drop, not a cast member of the Jersey Shore,” a source explained. We guess since we watch the Jersey Shore crew the other 364 days of the year, maybe we can let this one slide. Besides, whenever we look at Snooki times stops, which would make the count down seem of anti-climactic. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Pauly D Is Getting His Own Show

Snooki has her book deal, The Situation had Dancing With The Stars, but Pauly D has beaten them both to the spin-off punch. It’s been confirmed that Pauly (real last name DelVecchio) is the first Jersey Shore cast member to nab his own spin-off series.

MTV has announced that a pilot for Pauly’s show has already been shot in Rhode Island, where he’s originally from, and that the show will focus on his DJing career. (Did you know he was actually nominated for America’s Best DJ this year alongside Moby, Jazzy Jeff and ?uestlove? Neither did we!) MTV exec Chris Linn explained that Pauly was chosen because “At the heart of Jersey Shore is the unique and genuine cast, and Pauly D truly embodies both qualities. We know viewers are curious about his life away from the shore, and we look forward to exploring new possibilities around that.” But will there be cabs to the bar and drunken fights? Because that’s what we want to explore.

by (@hallekiefer)

Jersey Shore‘s Ronnie Charged With Assault

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It was only a matter of time before one of the Jersey Shore cast members got charged with a serious crime; our money was on JWOWW, but honestly it was a coin-toss. A New Jersey grand jury has charged Ronnie Ortiz-Mago with one count of third-degree assault, which, if he’s convicted, could mean up to five years in prison. The indictment claims that Ronnie “purposely or knowingly caused significant bodily injury to Stephen Izzo by striking in the face with a closed fist, causing him to lose consciousness” on Sept. 4, 2009. Considering how often everyone on Jersey Shore loses consciousness, we would have thought this wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Then again, we’re jerks like that.

Unlike most celebrities’ crimes (but like every dumb thing the cast of Jersey Shore has ever done), you may have already seen the alleged assault with your own eyes on TV.  Jersey Shore’s season one, episode eight “One Shot” showed the brawl between Ronnie and Izzo that lead to the charges. We’re no experts, but we assuming the fact it all happened on camera is known around the legal field as “not great news.” [Photo: Getty Images]

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J-Woww Writing The New Jersey Version Of The Rules

Are you looking for love but having a hard time? Are you a Jersey Shore fan? Would you be willing to take advice from the show’s second biggest female star? If you are, then today is your lucky day! Farley is writing a dating self-help guide called The Rules According To J-Woww. The book is inspired by that famous 1995 tome The Rules, which brainwashed women into believing there was a right way and a wrong way to snag a man. J-Woww will offer “shore-tested secrets on landing a mint guy, staying fresh to death, and kicking the competition to the curb.” And hopefully an epilogue on how to clear up gorilla rash.

Everything in The Rules According To J-Woww will probably not be reality-based but with advice like “Bust his balls a little,” and “Hair belongs on your head . . . nowhere else,” it’s sure to become a classic bathroom read.  The book comes out in February, 2011, but in the meantime, check out the cover below.

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[Photo:]


by (@JordanRuntagh)

Jersey Shore‘s Ronnie Lost His V-Card On The Hood Of An Elderly Woman’s Car

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They say you never forget your first smush, and that’s certainly true for Jersey Shore’s Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. The TV star appeared on MTV’s When I Was 17 to talk about his first time, which apparently happened al fresco on the hood of a car. His friend’s grandma’s Toyota Camry, to be exact. No, it wasn’t with his friend’s grandma. But still, pretty awkward. Let’s hope he at least paid for a trip to the car-wash after.

“It just happened randomly, he said. “I was with my friend hanging out on the corner and some girl walks up to him and is like, ‘Your friend is hot, I want to hook up.’” This is by far the most interesting part of the story to the other 99 percent of us whose first time required significantly more effort. “When you’re young, the place to have sex is in the car,” he continued. But sadly poor Ronnie didn’t have wheels of his own. Enter the Grammy-Mobile. “I went to find a quiet spot down the block, and [I thought] ‘I’ll do it on the hood of the car right now. My friends were watching from the car behind me!” And thus began his enthusiasm for broadcasting sex acts to the masses.

[Photo: Getty Images]