Get ready to ring in 2011 with a tiny guidette trapped in a hamster ball, everyone. Snooki has agreed to be inside a ball that drops in Times Square at the stroke of midnight on December 31. It’s kind of like David Blaine meets Jersey Shore meets Double Dare, isn’t it?
It will all be a part of MTV’s New Years Bash, which will also include an appearance by Flo Rida, as well as the rest of the Jersey Shore cast, and an attempt to break the world record for largest group of people to collectively fist-pump, but how boring is that compared to SNOOKI BEING INSIDE THE BALL? Did you ever think you’d get to see a Oompah Loompah plummet from the top of a tall building in front of millions of people? Dreams really do come true.
Angelina Pivarnick has a lot to be bitter about. She got booted from her sweet gig on Jersey Shore, denied a spinoff of her own,Ã‚Â and her attempts at rapping will be used as joke fodder on blogs for years to come.Ã‚Â Why does the world seem so against her? It’s because we don’t understand her, you guys! That’s why she got the word “Misunderstood” tattooed onto her wrist. We’re guessing “Y’all Don’t Know Me!” didn’t fit?
The television star(?) feels like she is “the victim of a bad edit,” which made her out to be a hateful bi-otch on the MTV series.Ã‚Â “I knew I wanted to get a tattoo, and my friends said that the word ‘misunderstood’ best described me.” This makes us want to cry. There are a lot of adjectives to choose from, and if our friends ever said that “misunderstood” summed us up, we’d probably have a breakdown. Or get new friends. But she says the label fits. “It’s true,Ã‚Â because I was portrayed as the worst person on Jersey Shore.” Which is actually pretty impressive, considering the competition.
Have you been looking for a song so bad that it makes Ke$ha sound like a musical genius? Or a byproduct of the Jersey Shore that doesn’t have to do with tanning or abs? Well, your long, nightmarish wait is over! Angelina Pivarnick‘s rap song, called “I’m Hot” is here and it is…something else. Despite the fact that Angelina comes from Staten Island, home of the Wu-Tang Clan, she has what we politely refer to as a unique approach to her craft. References to Shaolin, no. References to shopping, yes. Clearly she won’t be citing RZA or GZA as influences. And you know how weird it is when British people sing and lose their English accents? Angelina never learned that trick. Have a listen if you dare.
Why so sad, Snooki? Is it because you have to wear an actually costume this Halloween, as opposed to the rest of us who will be sporting a poof and giant slippers with a pickle in hand? Snooki shopped for Halloween costumes in New Jersey this weekend (in a dress and heels, naturally) looking like she was just told that the President had banned house music and fist-pumping. Which, by the way, is a great idea. Think about for 2012, B.O.!
Hey Pauly D, you GTLed every day this month! What are you gonna do now to celebrate? Go to Disney World, of course! Just days after the second season finale of Jersey Shore, Pauly made his way down to Florida to hit up the Happiest Place On Earth That Isn’t New Jersey™.
But it wasn’t all just goofin’ with Goofy and creepin’ on the Little Mermaid. Mr. D made the trip to announce his role as the feature DJ at Disney Grad Nite 2011, an annual after-hours celebration exclusively for high school seniors this spring. Err, may we recommend not creepin’ on those girls? Because that takes creepin’ to another level.
Wanna get abs like Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino? Well, he doubts that’s possible. But he still thinks you should shell out some cash for his new book, Here’s The Situation, which hits shelves on November 2nd. It promises to be an indispensable guide “to creeping on chicks, avoiding grenades and getting your GTL.” Makes a great gift for the whole family!
We’ll let Mike take it from here: “Do you really think your situation is where it needs to be? Be honest with yourself, bro. This book here will take your game to a level thought unattainable given your physical limitations (because we can’t all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off).” Ouch, The Situation. That one hurt.
But it’s not all steroids by the handful strict and intensive workout routines. The Sitch also helps you get in touch with your/his sensitive side. He tells you how to find the perfect life partner, and shows you how to spoil them with a perfect lasagna dinner. He even spills on how you can become “one of the most famous people on the planet-which is guaranteed if you follow my advice.” All this in just 144 pages!
And it’s as gross, confusing and adorable as you would expect, as Snooki tweets the pickle pancake her unnamed mystery boyfriend cooked for her. Do we even need to say barf? In case we do: barf. Twitter-squeals Snickers, “Omg my boyfriend made me a pickle pancake…yeahhhh he’s amazing!” Few can forget our first glimpse of Snickers in the pilot episode of Jersey Shore, happily clutching a glistening, briny pickle betwixt her eight-inch-long frosted acrylics and munching away. We know we personally have been going to therapy for months to try to move past it! We still can’t sleep through the night!
After her long and storied romantic history of fame-whores, epic creepers and (we’re assuming) John McCain, it’s super sweet to see girlfriend with a man who seems to truly get her. That being said, we the viewing audience are now are faced with two equally horrifying options. One, Snooki is actually going to eat that thing. And immediately die, if we had to guess. Two, Snickers is just messing with us and her man-friend is playing off her well-known fondness for the phallic green treat. Which means that the pancakes are…ironic? And Snooki is…in on the joke? No, it can’t be. Someone from Jersey Shore is becoming self-aware? IS THIS REAL LIFE? [Photo: Snooki’s Twitter]
We all know how popular the Jersey Shore is. Still, while interviewing bands at Austin City Limits yesterday we were a little surprised to find out how much Vampire Weekend loves it. In fact, we’re pretty sure these indie kings could write a dissertation on the MTV reality show. While each band member has their favorite self-described “guido” or “guidette,” it was lead singer Ezra Koenig‘s thoughtful analysis of why Jersey Shore works while other reality shows fall short that impressed us the most. According to Ezra:
“The Situation realizes he’s playing a character … everyone is self aware … with some reality shows it’s about making fun of people who are hapless and who don’t really know what’s going on. But the Jersey Shore is not really like that. Because everybody is funny. They have a sense of humor. They know when they’re being outrageous. For better or worse, nobody’s being exploited.”
Well said Ezra, and nice fist pump! See the full-sized image of drummer Chris Tomson showing VH1’s Janell Snowden his own Situation after the jump.
With Jersey Shore‘s second season coming to a close, we already feel the creep of the cold dark void that will remain once all the messy hook-ups, alcohol-fueled altercations and club shattering dance moves are gone. Luckily, last night’s episode had no shortage of hard core Jersey dance moves, especially from our favorite pint-sized guidette, Snooki.
If you’re anything like us you’ve kept a close eye on Snooks the last two seasons and watched our tan little friend beat up the beat better than the rest. We are envious of her shocking flexibility, total lack of inhibition and undying commitment to the dance floor. Browse through 20 of our favorite Snooki dance moves and tell us which one is your favorite!
Keep your eyes on those abs, ladies. Do not let them continue down the body. We knew there was no way someone could get, and stay, huge as The Situation if they weren’t “compensating” for something a little smaller below the belt. We mean, look at him! He must have started doing crunches in the womb. According to one of the very many ladies he bedded while in Miami, the truth is that The Situation is packing a teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy situation…in his pants. Says club promoter and brief lover of our Jersey boy Melody Eckerson, “Let’s just say, I’m thinking of my pinky”. O snap! A million snaps. Steroids are a hell of a drug, man.
Continues Eckerson, “I wouldn’t even call it a one-night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes.” Dang girl! Normally we’d rush to the Sitch’s defense (eh, not really) but considering all the cracks he’s made at the expense of the various chicken cutlets, hippos and grenades that have splashed through that hot tub, he should have known at least one of them was going to come back and bite him in the crotch. With great abs comes great responsibility. And apparently, a baby-sized wiener. [Photo: Getty Images]