Jersey Shore

by (@hallekiefer)

Snooki’s Fabulous Mugshots Show She’s Already Wearing Prison Jumpsuit-Orange

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Mugshots of hardened criminal and even harder partier Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi have popped up after her arrest on Friday for disorderly conduct, aka being a cast member on Jersey Shore. (Check out Snooki’s 20 Sexiest Photos.) The one where she can’t even be bothered to look at the camera? Priceless. Someone probably had to dangle a pickle on a string to get her attention for the other one.

Given that Snickers is small enough to sleep in a shoebox, we’re impressed that a trip to Beer Bong Island only resulted in mussed hair and smeared mascara. The littlest diva really knows how to hold her liquor, even if it does result in her landing in jail at the end of the day.

We hope JS stays on the air forever so we can hang a time line of Snooki’s arrests on our wall, to remember all the good times. Plus we’ll save a ton on wallpaper!

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[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Snooki’s Arrest Is The Best Thing To Happen To Seaside Heights, According To Mayor

The Mayor of Seaside Heights,where MTV’s Jersey Shore crew is currently filming its third season, has a message for Snooki: thank you for collectively pissing off my town’s tourists, residents and police department this past week and getting arrested. Well, more or less. When questioned about Snooki’s arrest, a very excited Mayor Ken Hershey told the New York Post yesterday, “We’re getting wonderful publicity! We couldn’t pay a half-million dollars for this!”

Please feel free to let us know if we are missing something, but Snooki gets arrested for her usual drunken disorder and get praised? Only the Queen of Guidettes would be able to pull that one off. It’s definitely not cute when Paris Hilton does it and it wasn’t even cute when that kid from The Sixth Sense, Haley Joel Osment, was arrested for drunkenly crashing his car into a mailbox back in 2006.

At first, details about Snooki’s arrest for disorderly conduct last Friday were about as fuzzy as her vision. TMZ initially reported that Snooki spent the day partying on the beach with a beer bong and doing body shots. The New York Daily News recently revealed that the arrest occurred after the MTV star became increasingly obnoxious on the beach and started trampling over beach goers. If a five second clip of Snooki “trampling” over New Jersey beach goers isn’t enough of an incentive to watch the next season of her reality show we don’t know what is. Please include this footage next season, MTV!

While there weren’t any updates to Snooki’s Twitter regarding her trip to the clink, her wing-woman and fellow Jersey Shore cast member J-Woww tweeted on Friday around 5PM, “Going to bail @Sn00ki out of jail… The things I do for this girl I swear.”


by (@seapeaz)

The 20 Sexiest Snooki Snapshots

UPDATE: Snooki Arrested For Disorderly Conduct On Jersey Shore

Snooki hair-bumped and fist-pumped her way into our hearts faster than a spray tan last winter. Since the end of Jersey Shore‘s first season we’ve been sitting here pitifully with a pint-sized human-shaped hole in our hearts. But fret no more FABlife friends! The Jersey Shore is back tonight and we’re heading to “Miami bitches!” ZOMG, we’re so excited we feel like we’re about to liquefy into a glass of red bull and vodka!

If you’re anything like us, you’ve probably listened to the Jersey Shore soundtrack about a hundred times and have the Season 2 trailer memorized word for word, so to tide you over we’re bringing you The 20 Sexiest Snooki Snapshots! Do we even have to explain why? The tiniest lady on the Shore knows how to party like a proper guidette while dressing to impress every time. Browse through the pics (bikini photos included!) and let us which Snooki shot is your #1.

20. Purple Perfection
19. Snookin’ For Love
18. True Blue
17. Wet And Wild
16. Get Naked!
15. You Love My Lady Lumps
14. Beach Babe
13. Glam Gal
12. Snooki To The Rescue
11. We’re In Miami Bitches!
10. Poof!
9. Sporty Snooki
8. Little Black Dress
7. I Kissed A Girl…
6. Snooki Shake
5. Nicole Snooki Pole-Izzi
4. Miami Mama
3. Snooki Smooches
2. Breath Of Fresh Air
1. Animal Instincts

Bonus: Sweet Tooth (A photo too adorable to ignore!)

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by (@hallekiefer)

Jersey Shore Reject Angelina To Get Own Show, Delusion of Grandeur

Jersey Shore cast member of 1.5 seasons, Angelina Pivarnick, may not have made the cut for season 3 of the show, but apparently she is already bragging about shooting a new reality program focused solely on her. According to a report over at Crushable, the cast-off guidette claims that the program is “90%” nailed down (she knows 90% is almost 100%, right?) and sneers that “Jersey Shore won’t be there forever.”

*GASP* You shut your mouth, Angelina, yes, it will! Meanwhile, we are pretty sure we can predict what the plot of her new show is going to be: it’s called City of Angel(ina)s, and at the end of every episode Angelina quits the show in a huff, packs all of her clothes in garbage bags, and puts them in the back of her parents’ station wagon. In between quittings, Angelina will work at a variety of jobs that aren’t that difficult and don’t require a lot of commitment, such as ice cream scooper, flip-flop saleswoman, and buoy. Angelina will quit each job in succession because they require her to start work at the crack of noon, interfering with the 23 hours of sleep per day required to have enough energy to carry around all those garbage bags. Slowly it will be revealed that Angelina has at some point hooked up with everyone else in the show (co-worker at Auntie Anne’s, garbage man, seagull) a charge Angelina will deny until these people become famous from being on the show, upon which Angelina will try to trap them in a garbage bag and put them in the back of her parents’ car. The show will be sponsored by Hefty.

In addition to bragging about her imaginary stardom, Angelina took digs at her former cast mates, saying about Snooki: “She’s another one … she’s also a diva.” Why don’t you just insult Michelle Obama while you’re at it, Angelina? Snooki has more class in one acrylic toe nail than you have in your entirely too orange body. That makes us so mad, we might not watch her new show! Haha, who are we kidding? We’ve somehow already set our DVR for it.

by (@missmuttoo)

Snooki’s Body Image Is Just Fine, Thank You

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There’s a reason why Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi chooses to spill out of one-piece swimsuits and not bikinis. As you can see from the pic above, our Snookster does it with pizazz, bless her boozy little soul. She rocks that leopard print like no one else can! But why the one-piece?

She explained, ” I would rather wear a sexy one-piece whether I am heavy or down to 90 pounds. I wore one-piece suits when I was really skinny to hide my nakedness in a sexy way. I think they are more provocative because it makes guys want to see more of me.” Truth be told, they saw plenty of sexy Snooki’s bathing suit wear in Miami.

But all that tequila and hangover food (read: grease) has been rough on our heroine, and  Snooki reveals she does want start working on her fitness again. “I do like to feel healthy,” she stated. “”After eating fast food and drinking booze every day in Miami, I know I need to lose weight. I want to feel better. I plan to go back to eating salads and chicken with no drinking.” No drinking? Say it isn’t so!

But seriously… for all we yap about about the Jersey Shore…. HOW did we not know that Snooki was a cheerleader in high school? (Take a moment to visualize.) Pom-poms, poufs, spirit, fist pumps – it’s perfect! Straight from the pony’s mouth, “I was more fit when I was cheerleading in high school.  I will hit the gym and do cheerleading stunts for some good exercise in coming days.” Can we please, please see her doing a herkie on video?

She also went a little PSA about body image (which we like), commenting, “My self image was fine when I came down to Miami in April and it’s fine now. We all have flaws. We work within them to look our best.” Awww. This is Snookie though, remember. There has to be some sort of Jersey Shore addition to the sentiment. Your dose of the day?  “We don’t sit around wondering how hot we look. We want to see how hot the guys are.”

Oh, Snooki, can we hang out with you?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@katespencer)

J-Woww Does Maxim, Shocks Us With Her Hotness

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When you’re on a reality show that’s about to jump the shark, posing in a bikini for Maxim is par for the course. This morning we find ourselves analyzing these recent pics of Jersey Shore‘s J-Woww (Jenni Something-or-other, we’ll never learn her real name so why bother), and we’re pleasantly surprised by what we see. Sure they’re your standard ‘wet hair posing in a bikini licking a Popsicle like it’s a peen’ kinda photos, but J-Woww looks so stripped down and natural that we’re actually able to see that she’s somewhat pretty in that girl next door with massive fake boobs sorta way.

If J-Woww dropped the boob basket tank tops and Broadway show makeup and just walked around in bikinis and wet hair, it’d be a major improvement. Hint, hint, guidette.

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[Photo: Maxim]

by (@missmuttoo)

JWoww Jerseys Up Her Hair, Denies Strike Rumors

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That whole Jersey Shore on strike business? All a bunch of BS, at least that’s what Jenni “JWOWW” Farley is saying. She’s on the cover of Steppin’ Out magazine (with very very big hair) giving “The Best Jersey Shore Interview Ever…Seriously.”  Addressing the strike rumors, JWoww revealed, “That is by far a very untrue rumor. You have to laugh at crazy reports like that. Stories about strikes and things make us all laugh.”

Quick background check: reports surfaced that the JC crew were miffed at making a paltry $10,000 per episode. That amount was only valid till Season 2, according to Snooki and the gang. The Situation took care of the situation, supposedly negotiating more money for himself. The buzz suggests $30,000 per episode but the official amounts aren’t out yet, and more importantly, each cast member won’t be getting the same kinda cash.

But JWoww says that taping was not stalled while the bargaining was on, adding, “We all know that production is right on schedule. When the rumor first came out I actually had no idea what it was all about. None of it was true. Nobody ever talked about going on strike. I called Nicole [Snooki] and asked, ‘What is going on?’ Nobody knew anything about a strike. We all just laughed about it.”

So no drama? None? At all? Over to Miss J, “To answer your question: No, there was never any talk of a strike and everyone is very happy with the way the production has been going. Don’t believe what you read.” Yes Ma’am!

[Photo: Chaunce Hayden]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Jersey Shore Cast Close To Snagging $30K Per Episode

A lack of fist-pumping on television would be devastating, wouldn’t it? Life just wouldn’t be the same without Snooki and the gang, so news of the Jersey Shore strike shook us to our very core. We’re sure you empathize. All they wanted was more money because $10,000 per episode wasn’t cutting it. It’s a basic guido/guidette right to make enough money to buy as many tanning beds as they want for the rest of their lives.

Luckily for humanity, the cast is apparently hammering out new deals to bring home some stone cold cash.  Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is believed to have a struck a new deal with the producers of the Jersey Shore, even though they didn’t want to ante up the money initially. The Sitch thinks that his wrangling will end the cast strike and his manager says he, “believes he and MTV have reach [sic] a great new arrangement.” No word of how much just yet, but because he’s The Situation, he’s gotta sort the situation out. At least that’s what his manager thinks: “Mike decided in order to get season 3 done he was going to have to lead the pack and wants to encourage the rest of his cast to follow his lead.”

And now, perhaps due to The Situation’s negotiating, they’re all apparently close to a pay hike. The Jersey Shore cast were asking for $30,000 per episode and they’re apparently holed up with MTV haggling for an amount that will suit both parties. But apparently not every member will get the same amount. Perhaps tha’ts where The Sitch’s deal comes in. We don’t see the rest of the cast being too happy about his wheeling-dealing, so if drama happens, get it on camera? Pleeease!  They’ve already given us gems like Snooki’s “My boobs are so tight I can’t breathe — is that normal?”  We.Want.More. Here’s some of that scintillating Jersey Shore dialogue in case you’re missing your fix.

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Is The Jersey Shore Cast Greedy?

Jersey Shore

Hold your fist pumps! MTV’s Jersey Shore cast is on strike and refusing to shoot footage for a future third season of their hit show. Sources tell TMZ that the cast,  Snooki, Mike “The Situation,” JWOWW and those other cheeseballs, feels like they are getting royally screwed over by producers when it comes to their moolah. Apparently, the guido crew claims that their $10,000 per episode contracts, let us repeat, $10,000 per episode, were only supposed to cover season two’s escapades in Miami.

Sounds greedy, but is it really? According to ExtraTV.com, MTV’s The Hills cast made bundles of money, Kristin Cavallari was paid $90,000 an episode when she joined the cast while Lauren Conrad bagged $125,000 an episode for her five seasons. When the Speidi duo was sane enough to appear on television Heidi made $100,000 and Spencer $65,000 per episode. Other networks’ reality shows aren’t any different in their paychecks, the Real Housewives stars are said to make $30,000 an episode while the now divorced Jon and Kate Gosselin made $75,000 per episode.

These salaries make it seem like the Jersey Shore cast may actually have a point. We’re not sure having a GTL lifestyle is insanely expensive, but what do you think?

[Photo: Getty Images]